I was dating my friend’s fiancee
May 29, 2009
Dear Aunt Liz,<br>I live in the US and I have been dating a lady I met on the net. She shared everything with me, including her pictures and contact. We have planned to get married in the US. I have a friend who committed in the church in England and was
Dear Aunt Liz,
I live in the US and I have been dating a lady I met on the net. She shared everything with me, including her pictures and contact. We have planned to get married in the US. I have a friend who committed in the church in England and was planning on marriage too.
As I was talking to him, I told him about the lady and how far we had gone. I sent him some of her pictures. When he saw them, he almost cried on phone. This lady too is my friend’s wife to be. They were planning on marriage.
I am really hurt. I feel so much guilt. I have tried to talk to him but he sounds negative about everything I say. I need help, I cannot continue in this relationship. Any one with a solution for me could email
mukasarobert@hotmail.co.uk
Thank you.
Dear,
It must be shocking to find out that you were actually dating your friend’s fiancée. You seem to have got yourself trapped unknowingly.
You don’t have to blame yourself for anything because you didn’t know that your date is your friend’s girlfriend. Internet relationships are a challenge because there is limited face to face interaction. It becomes hard for either partner to appreciate the character of another or even get to know your partner in depth.
Amid this state of confusion, it seems your conscience is clear about what action to take. If you want to keep in relationship with your friend, then the relationship with this lady cannot continue. You need to make it clear to her that it is over.
This may mean that you cut off any communication whatsoever or reduce frequency of communication to signal an end to the whole idea. It is important that you give your friend this assurance as well.
You don’t have to worry about the negative reaction. It could be because of a sense of insecurity on his part. You need to understand that this discovery is equally shocking to him so don’t expect him to embrace this relationship wholeheartedly, it will take him some time to recover and pick up. Relationships are worth the effort, don’t give up.
Aunt Liz is a professional counsellor
I live in the US and I have been dating a lady I met on the net. She shared everything with me, including her pictures and contact. We have planned to get married in the US. I have a friend who committed in the church in England and was planning on marriage too.
As I was talking to him, I told him about the lady and how far we had gone. I sent him some of her pictures. When he saw them, he almost cried on phone. This lady too is my friend’s wife to be. They were planning on marriage.
I am really hurt. I feel so much guilt. I have tried to talk to him but he sounds negative about everything I say. I need help, I cannot continue in this relationship. Any one with a solution for me could email
mukasarobert@hotmail.co.uk
Thank you.
Dear,
It must be shocking to find out that you were actually dating your friend’s fiancée. You seem to have got yourself trapped unknowingly.
You don’t have to blame yourself for anything because you didn’t know that your date is your friend’s girlfriend. Internet relationships are a challenge because there is limited face to face interaction. It becomes hard for either partner to appreciate the character of another or even get to know your partner in depth.
Amid this state of confusion, it seems your conscience is clear about what action to take. If you want to keep in relationship with your friend, then the relationship with this lady cannot continue. You need to make it clear to her that it is over.
This may mean that you cut off any communication whatsoever or reduce frequency of communication to signal an end to the whole idea. It is important that you give your friend this assurance as well.
You don’t have to worry about the negative reaction. It could be because of a sense of insecurity on his part. You need to understand that this discovery is equally shocking to him so don’t expect him to embrace this relationship wholeheartedly, it will take him some time to recover and pick up. Relationships are worth the effort, don’t give up.
Aunt Liz is a professional counsellor