IF my mum had not died, I would have said Michael Jacksonâ€™s demise was very striking. Ironically, when you have seen the worst, the bad ceases to be scaring. That is what my friend says about marrying a divorcee.
But still, MJâ€™s death ranks high among such deaths as the one of Princess Diana, Lucky Dube, presidential term limits, Temangalo probe and the 10-point programme in intensity of effect.
My Primary Three son is still wondering why God can give Salvado a second chance and not Michael. I told him those things only happen in love not real boring life.
When people die, we can only draw lessons to make their lives worthwhile. For instance, Pastor Kayanja should be consoled. Like MJ, he is facing allegations of homosexuality and sexually abusing the leaders of tomorrow. All he has to do is build more churches, give more to charity, build more police posts and probably sponsor this column.
When he passes on, we in the press will concentrate on the donations he made and practically force him to line up with Julius Nyerere for canonisation.
God, by the way, looks at the international tears, the way you changed the world, the donations to charity and the way this column opined on your life on earth. We all knew MJâ€™s vain wish to be White inside out, forget his songs to the contrary.
He practically refused to accept the skin God created him in and like many of you who have Fanta faces on a Coke body, he spent millions to change his racial exterior.
I like the resistance spirit of making the gods know they can also make mistakes. In his quest for a Caucasoid identity, he set forth to rear children who are pure white and he did not trust his own sperm to do it.
MJ was not impotent. In fact, when his 19-month marriage to Lisa Marie ended goalless, rumours started flowing about his striking line.
Journalists, thinking he was being coached by Wenger, asked Lisa if indeed her fruit had been eaten and she replied: â€œYes, yes, yes (three times), we had sexâ€.
So, if Jackson Michael had sex, and sex with his wife, why did he not beget children? I know he is survived by three children but for me to say that is like to respect the dead.
MJâ€™s children had very little in common with him biologically. Michael Joseph Jackson Jr. 12, (also known as Prince Michael) and Paris Michael Katherine Jackson, 11, were born of a dermatologist (skin specialist) nurse, Deborah Jeanne Rowe (Debbie Rowe).
Debbie was his wife of 1996-1999. She revealed to the press that MJ never wanted his kids black. So, he bought a white manâ€™s sperm and artificially inseminated her. â€œIt was not Michaelâ€™s sperm,â€ she said.
According to the UKâ€™s Daily Mail, MJ loved his white kids so much that when time came to dispose of Debbie, he paid her Â£4.2m (sh15b) to give up her parental rights to the kids.
That, being ten years ago, can buy two Temangalos and cause double the tremour we had last year. She disappeared to the place where people can only return if there is a deal of money to make. Now, she is back claiming her children want their mum.
But MJâ€™s 79-year-old mother Katherine is folding her sleeves to fight her over children custody, unless she agrees to inherit the late MJâ€™s debts too.
The third kid, Prince Michael II (more commonly known as Blanket), 7, involved more science than his siblings.
Jackson hired some white womanâ€™s womb and instead of filling it himself, he paid a doctor to insert some sperms, which he later claimed were his. But those in the know say they were from white man who lived further North, very far away from Africa. MJ has never met the surrogate mother he used (though many women are now showing up after believing rumours that he left some money).
And for long, MJ has spent money to keep his children hidden from the world. They are rarely seen in public, and when they are, it is usually with their faces masked or veiled.
But, as you should have noticed, I am getting tired of rumour mongering deceased celebrities. So I need to stop here. But not before I say, as a real African, that MJ has gone on with all his genes. Nobody should seriously expect his â€˜offspringâ€™ to moonwalk, sing or inherit his kingdom of pop.
He has died with our hope that one day some lady would lure him into live sex and grab a useful talent from his genes. His music may certainly live for ever but his genes are gone.
Those who have eyes should see.
Where did Michael Jackson leave his genes?