Your Emotions- Nurse a grudge, hamper your health
FORGIVE and forget is a wise counsel but for many, “I may forgive, but I never forget†is more like a penchant. People tend to hold onto the past, especially where they feel they were wronged.
By Jacobs Odongo
FORGIVE and forget is a wise counsel but for many, “I may forgive, but I never forget†is more like a penchant. People tend to hold onto the past, especially where they feel they were wronged.
Okay, whatever it is — a cheating spouse, a begrudging neighbour, or a bar brawl, you feel hurt and angry, and you nurse those feelings sometimes for months or years, but it is no life preserver.
Jamesroger Nsereko, a clinical psychologist at the National Mental Hospital, Butabika, says anger and stress hurt your physical and mental health:
“When you hold a grudge, your anger causes your body to behave as if it is under constant stress, with the stress hormones kicking into high gear,†Nsereko says. “This can increase your blood pressure, heart rate and lower your immune system.â€
Grudges eventually wreak havoc on our bodies. The inability to release anger weighs on our minds and weighs down our immune systems. Medicinenet.com says stress causes high blood pressure, elevated heart rates and hair loss.
“Constantly thinking about a person or event that made you sad only heightens the feelings and makes you more anxious,†says Kajjumba Mayanja, a counselling psychologist at Makerere University’s department of psychology.
The don says the basis of anger depends on the individual, just like the duration of the anger. “Feeling angry is normal. The problem is some people cannot control themselves compared to others.â€
Kajjumba says people who hold grudges show symptoms of physical illness, hormonal imbalance, high blood pressure and are more likely to get heart attack and ulcers.
Kajjumba’s view is substantiated by an international academic finding of a study that shows that people who are more prone to holding grudges tend to be sicker than their peaceful peers.
A paper published by the department of Psychology at Medical College of Georgia concludes that bearing grudges is associated with a history of pain disorders, cardiovascular disease, and stomach ulcers.
Dr. Nelson Awanyo of SAS Medical Centre on Bombo Road says when one sustains anger for long, the anxiety that builds up in him affects the normal flow of blood and hormones in the body.
“There is a relationship between stress-induced diseases; for instance, if the production of insulin is affected resulting in diabetes, which in turn increases the risk of heart attack and stroke,†Awinyo says.
“At the same time, excess anxiety can cause high or low blood pressure and these cardiovascular conditions, especially hypertension can lead to coronary heart disease, stroke, heart and kidney failures.â€
Nsereko says while positive emotions induce excitement, negative ones can precipitate a rise in sugar levels which can cause diabetes.
He adds: “Stress and pain lead to the release of endorphins, which interact with the opiate receptors in the brain to reduce our perception of pain and act similarly to drugs such as morphine, heroin and codeine.â€
Taming the grudge
There are steps we can take to move toward forgiveness and eventually peace of mind. Kajjumba says you should console yourself with, ‘what has happened has happened.â€
Assume an apology
“Try to assume that the other party has said sorry, even if they have not,†Kajjumba says. Talk to the other party about what is nudging you.
Open up to a third party
Talk to an understanding person about the situation. This helps purge pent-up emotional energy. Interprete what happened to avoid rush conclusions. Examine why it exactly happened.
Recognise its negative effects
Is the grudge holding you back from pursuing new things in your life, or is your resentment alienating you from others? Nsereko says: “Holding onto anger does not affect anything but your well-being.â€
While Kajjumba said of the same: “If it seems too hard to let go of whatever happened, just think of all the energy we waste being angry at things we cannot change.â€
Grudges, Gender and Evolution
It could have sounded as male chauvinism when Chris, a magazine editor, said women are more susceptible to holding a grudge longer than men, but there are academic opinions that make him sound credible.
In the book, The New Evidence That Women Shouldn’t Fight the Nation’s Wars, Helen Fisher says women remember offenses and continue being mad about things after they have passed.
And Kajjumba has that view:
“Women keep emotions within while men display their emotions physically and therefore are more likely to purge the pent-up emotional energy than women whose feelings boil from within.â€
FORGIVE and forget is a wise counsel but for many, “I may forgive, but I never forget†is more like a penchant. People tend to hold onto the past, especially where they feel they were wronged.
Okay, whatever it is — a cheating spouse, a begrudging neighbour, or a bar brawl, you feel hurt and angry, and you nurse those feelings sometimes for months or years, but it is no life preserver.
Jamesroger Nsereko, a clinical psychologist at the National Mental Hospital, Butabika, says anger and stress hurt your physical and mental health:
“When you hold a grudge, your anger causes your body to behave as if it is under constant stress, with the stress hormones kicking into high gear,†Nsereko says. “This can increase your blood pressure, heart rate and lower your immune system.â€
Grudges eventually wreak havoc on our bodies. The inability to release anger weighs on our minds and weighs down our immune systems. Medicinenet.com says stress causes high blood pressure, elevated heart rates and hair loss.
“Constantly thinking about a person or event that made you sad only heightens the feelings and makes you more anxious,†says Kajjumba Mayanja, a counselling psychologist at Makerere University’s department of psychology.
The don says the basis of anger depends on the individual, just like the duration of the anger. “Feeling angry is normal. The problem is some people cannot control themselves compared to others.â€
Kajjumba says people who hold grudges show symptoms of physical illness, hormonal imbalance, high blood pressure and are more likely to get heart attack and ulcers.
Kajjumba’s view is substantiated by an international academic finding of a study that shows that people who are more prone to holding grudges tend to be sicker than their peaceful peers.
A paper published by the department of Psychology at Medical College of Georgia concludes that bearing grudges is associated with a history of pain disorders, cardiovascular disease, and stomach ulcers.
Dr. Nelson Awanyo of SAS Medical Centre on Bombo Road says when one sustains anger for long, the anxiety that builds up in him affects the normal flow of blood and hormones in the body.
“There is a relationship between stress-induced diseases; for instance, if the production of insulin is affected resulting in diabetes, which in turn increases the risk of heart attack and stroke,†Awinyo says.
“At the same time, excess anxiety can cause high or low blood pressure and these cardiovascular conditions, especially hypertension can lead to coronary heart disease, stroke, heart and kidney failures.â€
Nsereko says while positive emotions induce excitement, negative ones can precipitate a rise in sugar levels which can cause diabetes.
He adds: “Stress and pain lead to the release of endorphins, which interact with the opiate receptors in the brain to reduce our perception of pain and act similarly to drugs such as morphine, heroin and codeine.â€
Taming the grudge
There are steps we can take to move toward forgiveness and eventually peace of mind. Kajjumba says you should console yourself with, ‘what has happened has happened.â€
Assume an apology
“Try to assume that the other party has said sorry, even if they have not,†Kajjumba says. Talk to the other party about what is nudging you.
Open up to a third party
Talk to an understanding person about the situation. This helps purge pent-up emotional energy. Interprete what happened to avoid rush conclusions. Examine why it exactly happened.
Recognise its negative effects
Is the grudge holding you back from pursuing new things in your life, or is your resentment alienating you from others? Nsereko says: “Holding onto anger does not affect anything but your well-being.â€
While Kajjumba said of the same: “If it seems too hard to let go of whatever happened, just think of all the energy we waste being angry at things we cannot change.â€
Grudges, Gender and Evolution
It could have sounded as male chauvinism when Chris, a magazine editor, said women are more susceptible to holding a grudge longer than men, but there are academic opinions that make him sound credible.
In the book, The New Evidence That Women Shouldn’t Fight the Nation’s Wars, Helen Fisher says women remember offenses and continue being mad about things after they have passed.
And Kajjumba has that view:
“Women keep emotions within while men display their emotions physically and therefore are more likely to purge the pent-up emotional energy than women whose feelings boil from within.â€