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Monday,October 26,2020 04:09 AM

Find love at the marathon

By Vision Reporter

Added 28th October 2009 03:00 AM

I think when we got too busy looking for the sh900m of the National Forestry Authority boss, someone sneaked the marathon into the cupboard of those things we must do to impress the opposite sex.

I think when we got too busy looking for the sh900m of the National Forestry Authority boss, someone sneaked the marathon into the cupboard of those things we must do to impress the opposite sex.

I think when we got too busy looking for the sh900m of the National Forestry Authority boss, someone sneaked the marathon into the cupboard of those things we must do to impress the opposite sex. I actually thought the Kampala marathon was this weekend because I have lost count of females who want to know if I am participating.

From the number of sweet voices at the other end of the telephone line calling with such questions, it seems yours truly’s public image will be ruined if I preferred to spend the Marathon day praying for some Chief Administrative Officers who are mismanaging our funds.

So, I have an answer if you are waiting for your October salary to buy airtime to call and ask me about running the Kampala marathon: Read to the end.

But before I let you into my explanation, be advised that saying No to the question of whether you will run constitutes suicide among the dating class. Hot girls these days love trendy stuff and the Kampala marathon has become one of them.

In my 42 years of life, I have not seen a woman who has got disappointed in a husband she got from a marathon. So, why don’t you come and make your pick? Fit, determined, testosterone-smelling guys will be available.

Men too have the opportunity: A good wife is one who can venture into challenging stuff, without self pity and pit her zeal against public scrutiny. At the Marathon, they come in all shapes and the figure is not disguised by long dresses. Those who deceive with light skinned faces will be betrayed by black thighs, unless they prefer trousers.

It is not hard to sieve out those who are available; just ask for their business card. If they came with the cards, they are available. Why else would anyone take business cards to a marathon?

If some hot chick (and guy for that matter) you are interested in asks if you have registered for the marathon, say yes! That is the beauty of love. It matters much more what impression your answer is going to create than whether your intended destination is heaven or hell. Registering for the marathon does not actually mean you registered because the law does not require us to carry proof that we will run. Two, it also does not mean you will show up or if you actually show up, run and if you run, go on till the end. Say yes and look like you are looking forward to taking on Kampala. Use the chance to talk about your previous position last year and ask if your interrogator missed your name in the papers.

You know, marathons have all the health, social, romantic and aristocratic advantages, at least according to MTN marketing staff. But they are also a sieve to separate men from boys, daring women from self-pitying ones and attractive figures from amorphous masses of flesh.

If you have reason to think the shape of your legs is not enough to take you up to Christmas, why publish it where there is likely to be competition? You do not want to single-handedly disappoint the crowd with an incongruent figure that will distract runners with imaginations of spiders.

As for me, I have not registered. There are two reasons: One, I am not dating and two; I am a very traditional man. I believe in running from or after something. I need to run away from say disgraceful women or chase something like beautiful women, money, power and something.

In a marathon you just run, waste all that sexual strength on races that are neither delivering you to safety from danger nor taking you closer to the object of your affection. Those who want me can consider using a bait in front of all runners; something I won’t write here because the editor will delete it. If you can’t find one, at least use the sh900m that all our security agencies are searching for.

Find love at the marathon

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