LIKE the World Cup, the game of impressing the opposite sex is not won by chance. Granted, you may, like President Museveni, be chanced by your office to lift the World Cup at 65, but for the rest, you must rely on your wits.
Stature, beauty and figure can score goals but the winner has to usually add wit and class before flooring the groomed citizens of this world. I confirmed this recently after listening to our CEOâ€™s KB about the MTN Marathon. You know it is on this weekend and apparently, it is the talk of groomed people. Our CEO was narrating his past marathon experiences and giving some tips on how to return to the finishing line in good shape. You know, I have never seen a marathon runner with a smile on his face. Even when they win, they do not celebrate like footballers who jump around, box the air and generally behave like CHOGM thieves. Many marathon runners return with mourning faces, collapse in a heap and sometimes, graduate for an ambulance immediately. That description has never fitted a victor.
They always remind me of mating dogs which after fighting to register for a game and locking together, they look like they want to cry, regretting why they started it in the first place. Yet even after the mating torture, they will do it again.
Anyway, back to Kabushenga; I think when you deduct the usual salt people add into their stories, he can still be a qualified runner. So I listened carefully to his narrative and a few days later, I sought the company of groomed ladies and gentlemen at Kampala Club where I started narrating Kabushengaâ€™s experiences â€” but this time as my own. I talked of how the Jinja marathon gave us a hard time, how you need to avoid sex several days before and after the marathon and how to conserve energy when you are slopping down the hill. By the end of my informed discourse, my audience had began seeing me in another light. I told you this marathon thing has an aura it bestows on the runner, the kiwani runner and whoever can give an informed opinion about it.
You see, women want fit men. But there is something more. It is also about the sophistication and confidence of your talk. Remember you have no second chance of creating a first impression. Style and class cuts across sexes. When people meet and talk about anything, they want to see how you analyse and see through national and international events. That sets you apart of the rest whose only talk is about Walukaga and Samona.
Apparently being a person of class involves being knowledgeable about certain important things. Can you imagine the person you have just met starting to ask such questions as when is the marathon? Who is R-Kelly? Isnâ€™t immunisation a ploy to kill our children? Wasnâ€™t Tigan bewitched?
No, my friend, if you care about image, sieve what you release. And the best way is to listen to groomed people talk, you can borrow their impression as long as you are not caught.
The conversation may not always go along your strong field. Steer it to an area you are comfortable with. Say if it is about global recoveries from recession, bring in the effects on the World Cup and change the topic completely.
If you canâ€™t, hard luck. We do not always get what we want. Otherwise, Lydia Draru would have married the renegade Joseph Kony.
First impression takes one shot