Signs your child could be hooked
Dec 15, 2009
Pastor Martin Ssempa, a renowned anti pornography activist, says there are early signs that can alert a parent that a child is engrossed in pornography. He explains that such a child usually spends long hours in solitude reading magazines and watching te
Pastor Martin Ssempa, a renowned anti pornography activist, says there are early signs that can alert a parent that a child is engrossed in pornography. He explains that such a child usually spends long hours in solitude reading magazines and watching television in hiding.
“You begin to see someone even missing a meal, and the reason they will give is “I am busy in my room reading,†The girls start dressing indecently and are drawn to early sexual activity and abuse of drugs. When not detected early, exposure to pornography leads to sexual pervasion and violence. He adds.
To avert this situation, experts advise parents to teach children the dangers of pornography.
“Give them prepared age tailored parental sex education, for instance insist that the TV must be watched in the open and the computer should be in the sitting room,†says Ssempa.
How to protect your child
Some parents might think the only way to stop the infiltration of pornography into the minds of their children is by cutting off the source of the material. While this may solve the problem temporarily, it does not teach children how to deal with this material when they see it anywhere else: television, billboards on the street or magazines.
* Establish your right and authority as a parent
- Establish parental authority gently and wisely. Remind your children through words and actions that while you love them and want to be close to them, this does not mean just being friends.
l As the parent, you have the final say when it comes to their wellbeing.
l You have a right to know their friends, where they are and what they are doing for the sake of the children’s safety.
* Teach by example
- A son who sees his father staring at pornographic magazines and lustfully at bikini-clad women at the beach in summer is unlikely to take advice against watching porn seriously. Practise what you preach.
* Watch TV with them
- Simply taking the remote control, and every time a scene which is inappropriate comes up, quickly change the channel and make a sound of disgust.
This can be used as a form of conditioning, where your child will see pornographic or inappropriate material and know that this is wrong by your reaction.
* Make family time
- People turn to the media, whether it is television or the Internet because apart from trying to learn or research something or communicating by e-mail, they are bored.
This is why family time at least once a week is important, whether it is taking everyone out for ice cream or playing a board game together.
Keeping children entertained the right way together as a family, will reduce boredom and the need to turn to TV and the Internet to have fun.
* Is there a good young Christian boys or girls group in your area?
- Get your son or daughter to join. If not, start one up with the cooperation of other parents. Also, get them involved in things like sports and volunteer work.
* Know their friends
- More often than not, children get their information about sex from friends, who often mislead them instead of guiding them.
This is similar when it comes to pornographic material. If you find that some of your children’s friends are involved in porn, talk to the parents, and if that does not work, keep your child away.
* Get involved with their school
- If you want to know what kind of material your child is being taught and what kind of ideas he or she is being exposed to, helping out in school is your ticket.
Involvement gives you access to teachers, the principal and discussion on what is being taught and what is talked about in class discussions.
*If the children are old enough, talk about pornography
- This should be done in the context of a discussion on modesty.
Talk openly and clearly, asking for their opinion about this issue (this is a great way to indirectly find out what friends and peers at school are saying or doing about it), and give them the Christian perspective.
“You begin to see someone even missing a meal, and the reason they will give is “I am busy in my room reading,†The girls start dressing indecently and are drawn to early sexual activity and abuse of drugs. When not detected early, exposure to pornography leads to sexual pervasion and violence. He adds.
To avert this situation, experts advise parents to teach children the dangers of pornography.
“Give them prepared age tailored parental sex education, for instance insist that the TV must be watched in the open and the computer should be in the sitting room,†says Ssempa.
How to protect your child
Some parents might think the only way to stop the infiltration of pornography into the minds of their children is by cutting off the source of the material. While this may solve the problem temporarily, it does not teach children how to deal with this material when they see it anywhere else: television, billboards on the street or magazines.
* Establish your right and authority as a parent
- Establish parental authority gently and wisely. Remind your children through words and actions that while you love them and want to be close to them, this does not mean just being friends.
l As the parent, you have the final say when it comes to their wellbeing.
l You have a right to know their friends, where they are and what they are doing for the sake of the children’s safety.
* Teach by example
- A son who sees his father staring at pornographic magazines and lustfully at bikini-clad women at the beach in summer is unlikely to take advice against watching porn seriously. Practise what you preach.
* Watch TV with them
- Simply taking the remote control, and every time a scene which is inappropriate comes up, quickly change the channel and make a sound of disgust.
This can be used as a form of conditioning, where your child will see pornographic or inappropriate material and know that this is wrong by your reaction.
* Make family time
- People turn to the media, whether it is television or the Internet because apart from trying to learn or research something or communicating by e-mail, they are bored.
This is why family time at least once a week is important, whether it is taking everyone out for ice cream or playing a board game together.
Keeping children entertained the right way together as a family, will reduce boredom and the need to turn to TV and the Internet to have fun.
* Is there a good young Christian boys or girls group in your area?
- Get your son or daughter to join. If not, start one up with the cooperation of other parents. Also, get them involved in things like sports and volunteer work.
* Know their friends
- More often than not, children get their information about sex from friends, who often mislead them instead of guiding them.
This is similar when it comes to pornographic material. If you find that some of your children’s friends are involved in porn, talk to the parents, and if that does not work, keep your child away.
* Get involved with their school
- If you want to know what kind of material your child is being taught and what kind of ideas he or she is being exposed to, helping out in school is your ticket.
Involvement gives you access to teachers, the principal and discussion on what is being taught and what is talked about in class discussions.
*If the children are old enough, talk about pornography
- This should be done in the context of a discussion on modesty.
Talk openly and clearly, asking for their opinion about this issue (this is a great way to indirectly find out what friends and peers at school are saying or doing about it), and give them the Christian perspective.