One on One with the Matembes
Jan 09, 2009
Miria Matembe is a female activist and former minister of ethics and integrity who was female MP for Mbabara district. Her husband, Nekemiah Matembe was the chief brewer for Uganda Breweries before retirement. <br>They have been married for 31 years. <b
Miria Matembe is a female activist and former minister of ethics and integrity who was female MP for Mbabara district. Her husband, Nekemiah Matembe was the chief brewer for Uganda Breweries before retirement.
They have been married for 31 years. Rehema Aanyu had a chat with them
-How they met
-How Nicky adjusted to Miria and enjoyed it
-Guys were disturbing me for sex — Miria
-Uncles told me to yield, I refused — Miria
-Why I love Miria — Nicky
-The secret of our success — Nicky
Miria Matembe
How and when did you meet your husband?
I met Nekemia at the kasiki of his cousin. I was with a cousin when I spotted him dancing. I told my cousin that ehh that guy knows how to dance. Little known to me was that he had also seen me as a good dancer so when we met at the bridal dinner the following day, he told me he wanted to marry me but I remember laughing my head off. I asked him is that how people marry? I told him that we should study each other first.
What happened later?
I was then in my second year at Makerere university. He had finished his studies so he came one day to take me out with a friend and all the time we were arguing about this and that. He took me back to my hostel and came back two days later. He told me that he did not like us arguing all the time. I said I did not like it either so he took us out again. We argued again. This time he lectured me on how I should stop arguing with him because it was not right. I asked him if he had turned into my senga because to me she was the only person supposed to counsel me. I asked him to either be my boyfriend or senga but not both. We have been married for 31 years now.
What would you say has been the secret to your marriage?
When I sensed that things were getting serious between Nicky and I, I told him that look if we are going to be married, I cannot be beaten. I grew up knowing girls and women are always beaten by boys and men so I told him straight away that I cannot be beaten. I also told him that I am a woman who loves and enjoys my freedom and he should never tamper with it. I never pretended to be whom or what I wasn’t before or even after our marriage so I believe he knew exactly what or who he was getting involved in.
Was he your first love?
I was 22 years old when I met him. Of course I had had boyfriends before him. I had one before joining Makerere who was very much interested in having sex with me. When I told him I did not want to have sex with him because I feared getting pregnant he told me to never go back to him until I was interested in having sex with him. I never went back.
The next was a postgraduate guy who also wanted to have sex. I refused and he said he will manage me somehow. By the mere mention of the word ‘manage’, he had grossly insulted me so I left. I had another boyfriend who also asked for sex but I declined. He said it was okay but I caught him with another girl when I paid him a visit at his place. Do you know even after nabbing him red-handed he told me it was my fault because I had gone to his home without first making an appointment so I told him next time I would do exactly that. I never did. So I gave up on boys but when I reached third year, my uncles and cousins at campus were concerned that I might leave campus without getting a man to marry. They asked me not to decline sex to men but I stood my ground. Nicky and I believed in sex after marriage.
What advice do you have for people in relationships?
People should know that marriage is not easy. You need to pick one positive thing about your partner and make it the hanger where your marriage or relationship hangs. This I am sure will take you through rough roads, hills and valleys, waterfalls, tides and waves. I do not think if Nicky had tampered with my freedom, there would be a marriage today. I am sure if he had tried to tame or “manage†me like men manage their wives, I would have quit because I am not a project to be managed. So Nicky’s respecting my freedoms is the greatest gift that he has ever given me.
Nekemiah Matembe
What is it like being married to Miria?
I think I should mention that I got married to her before she became what she is today. She was and still is a normal woman. I believe what is unique in my case is the fact that I have found myself in her glory.
She is a loving mother and wife who does house chores, cooks for us, tends to the house not as a duty but she embraces her work with love.
Is she submissive to you as her husband?
She respects me as her husband. We are more of partners I should say.
What attracted you to her?
I found her physical beauty very appealing. She was also kind, considerate, ambitious and very developmental. She is equally elegant in stature and has got beautiful legs.
What has kept your marriage successful?
Miria is not a pretender. We call a spade a spade. We have in common the liking for independence. I gave her freedom and she did the same for me. We are also very open with each other. We point out each other’s faults for correction.
Are you saddened that she took on your name and owned it?
Saddened? Why would I be saddened by that? I am happy she is that name when I introduce myself. I usually say I am the original Matembe. Who then is the duplicate Matembe? We are one. Matembe is Matembe.
The view people have of your wife is that she is too rough a woman...
I think many people misunderstand Miria. Many believe she is not a marriageable woman because she comes across as too rough. Little do they know beneath lies a genuinely honest, sincere and passionate woman and we love her because of this.
They have been married for 31 years. Rehema Aanyu had a chat with them
-How they met
-How Nicky adjusted to Miria and enjoyed it
-Guys were disturbing me for sex — Miria
-Uncles told me to yield, I refused — Miria
-Why I love Miria — Nicky
-The secret of our success — Nicky
Miria Matembe
How and when did you meet your husband?
I met Nekemia at the kasiki of his cousin. I was with a cousin when I spotted him dancing. I told my cousin that ehh that guy knows how to dance. Little known to me was that he had also seen me as a good dancer so when we met at the bridal dinner the following day, he told me he wanted to marry me but I remember laughing my head off. I asked him is that how people marry? I told him that we should study each other first.
What happened later?
I was then in my second year at Makerere university. He had finished his studies so he came one day to take me out with a friend and all the time we were arguing about this and that. He took me back to my hostel and came back two days later. He told me that he did not like us arguing all the time. I said I did not like it either so he took us out again. We argued again. This time he lectured me on how I should stop arguing with him because it was not right. I asked him if he had turned into my senga because to me she was the only person supposed to counsel me. I asked him to either be my boyfriend or senga but not both. We have been married for 31 years now.
What would you say has been the secret to your marriage?
When I sensed that things were getting serious between Nicky and I, I told him that look if we are going to be married, I cannot be beaten. I grew up knowing girls and women are always beaten by boys and men so I told him straight away that I cannot be beaten. I also told him that I am a woman who loves and enjoys my freedom and he should never tamper with it. I never pretended to be whom or what I wasn’t before or even after our marriage so I believe he knew exactly what or who he was getting involved in.
Was he your first love?
I was 22 years old when I met him. Of course I had had boyfriends before him. I had one before joining Makerere who was very much interested in having sex with me. When I told him I did not want to have sex with him because I feared getting pregnant he told me to never go back to him until I was interested in having sex with him. I never went back.
The next was a postgraduate guy who also wanted to have sex. I refused and he said he will manage me somehow. By the mere mention of the word ‘manage’, he had grossly insulted me so I left. I had another boyfriend who also asked for sex but I declined. He said it was okay but I caught him with another girl when I paid him a visit at his place. Do you know even after nabbing him red-handed he told me it was my fault because I had gone to his home without first making an appointment so I told him next time I would do exactly that. I never did. So I gave up on boys but when I reached third year, my uncles and cousins at campus were concerned that I might leave campus without getting a man to marry. They asked me not to decline sex to men but I stood my ground. Nicky and I believed in sex after marriage.
What advice do you have for people in relationships?
People should know that marriage is not easy. You need to pick one positive thing about your partner and make it the hanger where your marriage or relationship hangs. This I am sure will take you through rough roads, hills and valleys, waterfalls, tides and waves. I do not think if Nicky had tampered with my freedom, there would be a marriage today. I am sure if he had tried to tame or “manage†me like men manage their wives, I would have quit because I am not a project to be managed. So Nicky’s respecting my freedoms is the greatest gift that he has ever given me.
Nekemiah Matembe
What is it like being married to Miria?
I think I should mention that I got married to her before she became what she is today. She was and still is a normal woman. I believe what is unique in my case is the fact that I have found myself in her glory.
She is a loving mother and wife who does house chores, cooks for us, tends to the house not as a duty but she embraces her work with love.
Is she submissive to you as her husband?
She respects me as her husband. We are more of partners I should say.
What attracted you to her?
I found her physical beauty very appealing. She was also kind, considerate, ambitious and very developmental. She is equally elegant in stature and has got beautiful legs.
What has kept your marriage successful?
Miria is not a pretender. We call a spade a spade. We have in common the liking for independence. I gave her freedom and she did the same for me. We are also very open with each other. We point out each other’s faults for correction.
Are you saddened that she took on your name and owned it?
Saddened? Why would I be saddened by that? I am happy she is that name when I introduce myself. I usually say I am the original Matembe. Who then is the duplicate Matembe? We are one. Matembe is Matembe.
The view people have of your wife is that she is too rough a woman...
I think many people misunderstand Miria. Many believe she is not a marriageable woman because she comes across as too rough. Little do they know beneath lies a genuinely honest, sincere and passionate woman and we love her because of this.