Ask Auntie Liz
Dear Aunt Liz, I am a lady, 22, in a university in Kabale District. I am courting with a man who stays faraway, in Sorot.
Dear Aunt Liz, I am a lady, 22, in a university in Kabale District. I am courting with a man who stays faraway, in Sorot.
We only communicate on phone. We have been together for three years. He vowed that he would never marry anyone else if I disappointed him.
All these years we have spent, we have met only twice. He promises he is coming this month, and then he later calls to cancel the programme, saying something has come his way.
I have been so patient but as a normal person, I have weaknesses. Besides, I would be wishing to know better the man going to marry me during courtship – an issue we have failed to do. There are many men coming my way, should I accept to leave him? A.E
Dear A.E It must be challenging to sustain a distance relationship for three years. You have really been patient, its unfortunate the relationship doesn’t seem to yield what you desire. You indicated that you have met only twice in three years.
More to that, he frequently makes excuses for not coming over to see you even after he has promised. This shows that he doesn’t make much effort to keep his word.
Would you still find it easy to believe that he would never marry anyone if you let him down? Once or thrice may be tolerable but when there is a string of excuses with no clear reason, then you are are right to question his commitment to the relationship.
When there is love between two people, there is an element of sacrifice. The long distance could be a testing point in this relationship or could he be taking advantage of the long distance to avoid you?
It is true that courtship helps you get to know your partner better. It’s a time when you grow to appreciate and love the person for who they are. The more the frequency, the better because you cannot claim to love somebody you hardly know.
It is clear that your desire in this relationship has not been met. It is not worthwhile staying in a relationship that doesn’t meet your desire. You may need to consider moving on as long someone you like has come your way. All the best. Aunt Liz is a professional counsellor
We only communicate on phone. We have been together for three years. He vowed that he would never marry anyone else if I disappointed him.
All these years we have spent, we have met only twice. He promises he is coming this month, and then he later calls to cancel the programme, saying something has come his way.
I have been so patient but as a normal person, I have weaknesses. Besides, I would be wishing to know better the man going to marry me during courtship – an issue we have failed to do. There are many men coming my way, should I accept to leave him? A.E
Dear A.E It must be challenging to sustain a distance relationship for three years. You have really been patient, its unfortunate the relationship doesn’t seem to yield what you desire. You indicated that you have met only twice in three years.
More to that, he frequently makes excuses for not coming over to see you even after he has promised. This shows that he doesn’t make much effort to keep his word.
Would you still find it easy to believe that he would never marry anyone if you let him down? Once or thrice may be tolerable but when there is a string of excuses with no clear reason, then you are are right to question his commitment to the relationship.
When there is love between two people, there is an element of sacrifice. The long distance could be a testing point in this relationship or could he be taking advantage of the long distance to avoid you?
It is true that courtship helps you get to know your partner better. It’s a time when you grow to appreciate and love the person for who they are. The more the frequency, the better because you cannot claim to love somebody you hardly know.
It is clear that your desire in this relationship has not been met. It is not worthwhile staying in a relationship that doesn’t meet your desire. You may need to consider moving on as long someone you like has come your way. All the best. Aunt Liz is a professional counsellor