Are real men into Valentine’s day?
Feb 13, 2009
THERE is a common unwritten belief in Uganda and indeed the world over, that not all men are men. Strange, but true. Like George Orwell put it in his classic novel, <i>Animal Farm</i>, “All animals are equal but some are more equal than others.â€
By Deus Mukalazi
and Ronald Ahirirwe
THERE is a common unwritten belief in Uganda and indeed the world over, that not all men are men. Strange, but true. Like George Orwell put it in his classic novel, Animal Farm, “All animals are equal but some are more equal than others.â€
Apparently not all men are TRUE men; therefore it follows that certain things and habits are meant for the LESS manly. The question is: is there an exception to the rule when it comes to celebrating Valentine’s day?
The question would generate varied responses and feelings if put to Kampala men. There are those who are excited about this special day of lovers, the indifferent ones and of course, the mahoganies, who would not like to be disturbed by such ‘nonsense’.
It goes without saying that many of us regard Valentine’s as a girlie thing. The stereotypes in us tell us it is such “a waste of time†and it is not meant for men, or at least, not for TRUE men.
Of course, this is not true, as men know in their inner hearts that we also need to be shown love (if a recent survey by the Society of American Florists, is to be believed. It says more than two-thirds of men say they would love to receive flowers).
But how will society judge us if we openly express interest and show excitement over such girlish things?
There are those men who argue that expressing love is something they do everyday so there is no need for the hullabaloo on February 14. And we completely agree with these men. We do not need a day to tell people how special they are to us or how much we love them.
But also we think it is nice to be reminded or to have a special day to honour people who are important to us. Being the men we are (busy working most of the week), our women like it when we treat them to special dates like anniversaries, Valentine’s day, etc.
True manhood is not all about denying what we truly believe in just because our peers and the society we live in will look at us as being soft.
Let us admit this; many of us men have worked hard to be good husbands/boyfriends only to blow it off more often on Valentine’s Day. If you doubt that, ask the incumbent singles who are waiting for an opportunity on the 15th to hook some of the broken hearts.
You may not believe in it but if treating your partner in a special way on Valentine’s Day makes her happy, why not grant her wish?
When we talk about special treatment, it does not necessarily have to be expensive. I know of men and boys out there who begin questioning their manhood just because they cannot afford a bouquet of flowers or an expensive gift to give their loved one. They end up being stressed and hiding from their girlfriends, coining excuses, planning non-existent upcountry trips, just to stay away.
The fact that this year’s Valentine’s falls on a Saturday means that many of us will fake wedding ceremonies upcountry. But who tells you that women are just interested in expensive gifts? Do we, as men, know what women really want?
Guys, let us be honest here. we all love a woman who will do whatever it takes to protect our love and women are no different…they would really love to be protected and not just against the physical and emotional threats but also against diseases like AIDS.
The guy who does these things is a TRUE man! Do I hear AYES from the ladies? Thank you.
Back to the guys. be the true men you are and talk to your girlfriends and express your undying love and care for them this Valentine’s. You will be surprised what a difference it makes.
Of course we know that not all men who give gifts on Valentine’s Day are true men. Just because he has given you that gift, does not mean he is in love with you. Again Valentine’s season can be a time for false men to take advantage of unsuspecting girls and women. Some men give with mysterious motives.
The whole issue of gift giving in relationships is a complex one, but we need to try and establish the genuineness of the gifts. So what was the question once again? Yes, should real men celebrate Valentine’s? We think yes.
No matter what your opinion is, one thing you should not do is to forget all about it, because your girlfriend/wife will be expecting you to do something. Moreover, it was a brother, Valentine, who started this whole concept. So do not jump out of it! Over to you men!
Happy Valentine’s!
and Ronald Ahirirwe
THERE is a common unwritten belief in Uganda and indeed the world over, that not all men are men. Strange, but true. Like George Orwell put it in his classic novel, Animal Farm, “All animals are equal but some are more equal than others.â€
Apparently not all men are TRUE men; therefore it follows that certain things and habits are meant for the LESS manly. The question is: is there an exception to the rule when it comes to celebrating Valentine’s day?
The question would generate varied responses and feelings if put to Kampala men. There are those who are excited about this special day of lovers, the indifferent ones and of course, the mahoganies, who would not like to be disturbed by such ‘nonsense’.
It goes without saying that many of us regard Valentine’s as a girlie thing. The stereotypes in us tell us it is such “a waste of time†and it is not meant for men, or at least, not for TRUE men.
Of course, this is not true, as men know in their inner hearts that we also need to be shown love (if a recent survey by the Society of American Florists, is to be believed. It says more than two-thirds of men say they would love to receive flowers).
But how will society judge us if we openly express interest and show excitement over such girlish things?
There are those men who argue that expressing love is something they do everyday so there is no need for the hullabaloo on February 14. And we completely agree with these men. We do not need a day to tell people how special they are to us or how much we love them.
But also we think it is nice to be reminded or to have a special day to honour people who are important to us. Being the men we are (busy working most of the week), our women like it when we treat them to special dates like anniversaries, Valentine’s day, etc.
True manhood is not all about denying what we truly believe in just because our peers and the society we live in will look at us as being soft.
Let us admit this; many of us men have worked hard to be good husbands/boyfriends only to blow it off more often on Valentine’s Day. If you doubt that, ask the incumbent singles who are waiting for an opportunity on the 15th to hook some of the broken hearts.
You may not believe in it but if treating your partner in a special way on Valentine’s Day makes her happy, why not grant her wish?
When we talk about special treatment, it does not necessarily have to be expensive. I know of men and boys out there who begin questioning their manhood just because they cannot afford a bouquet of flowers or an expensive gift to give their loved one. They end up being stressed and hiding from their girlfriends, coining excuses, planning non-existent upcountry trips, just to stay away.
The fact that this year’s Valentine’s falls on a Saturday means that many of us will fake wedding ceremonies upcountry. But who tells you that women are just interested in expensive gifts? Do we, as men, know what women really want?
Guys, let us be honest here. we all love a woman who will do whatever it takes to protect our love and women are no different…they would really love to be protected and not just against the physical and emotional threats but also against diseases like AIDS.
The guy who does these things is a TRUE man! Do I hear AYES from the ladies? Thank you.
Back to the guys. be the true men you are and talk to your girlfriends and express your undying love and care for them this Valentine’s. You will be surprised what a difference it makes.
Of course we know that not all men who give gifts on Valentine’s Day are true men. Just because he has given you that gift, does not mean he is in love with you. Again Valentine’s season can be a time for false men to take advantage of unsuspecting girls and women. Some men give with mysterious motives.
The whole issue of gift giving in relationships is a complex one, but we need to try and establish the genuineness of the gifts. So what was the question once again? Yes, should real men celebrate Valentine’s? We think yes.
No matter what your opinion is, one thing you should not do is to forget all about it, because your girlfriend/wife will be expecting you to do something. Moreover, it was a brother, Valentine, who started this whole concept. So do not jump out of it! Over to you men!
Happy Valentine’s!