Would you date Jesus?
Apr 10, 2009
YEAH, I would date him. To be honest, I find the portrayal of Jesus “HOTâ€. So if it were back then – those days when nobody knew that he was the son of God – I’d fall for this dude. Just look at him (well, from the films):
Yes, yes, yes
By Carol Natukunda
YEAH, I would date him. To be honest, I find the portrayal of Jesus “HOTâ€.  So if it were back then – those days when nobody knew that he was the son of God – I’d fall for this dude. Just look at him (well, from the films): handsome, average built and cool. He is stylish – the long hair, I mean. And he seems to have a thing for women with long hair (remember the story of a woman who wiped his feet with her hair?). Now, I am not saying I would do that for him, but wouldn’t that give me a higher mark since my hair is fairly long?
And boy, he has a way with words. Don’t jeer, when just the other day he smit a woman at the well. I mean, there comes a Samaritan woman to draw water: Jesus says to her, “Give me water to drink.†Jews avoid Samaria. (The Samaritans were considered the black sheep of the Jewish family) Jewish men are not supposed to speak to women who were unaccompanied by their fathers or husbands, let alone a Samaritan woman. But here we see Jesus talking to a Samaritan woman, alone! He is tired and thirsty, after all. I love it! Now that is a total man, who stands against all odds. He knows women’s true worth. I don’t really have scripture to back that up, but I do know that the gentleman in Jesus treated her with tenderness and respect despite the cultural mores that gave him permission to judge her. When he told her she had no husband, he did not accuse; instead he stated the truth with love. She was living with a man, unmarried, (back to those mores). He did not call her a whore, which in the eyes of her community, she was. What love! This touches any woman’s heart. No brow beating, no accusing, no superior attitude; rather, respect and tenderness.
And hey, I would want some minutes of fame too. For heaven’s sake this is the guy who performs miracles, healing the sick and raising the dead. So which woman wouldn’t want to be known as the “clout†behind this incredible man? Jesus is so down to earth, far from most guys who want to show off. Okay, you will say he is always in the same attire – the tired robe and sandals – but he is a rich guy. He has a personal accountant called Judas. Tell me how many people hire accountants if they do not have a lot of bucks. He even moves with 12 men (disciples) daily. You certainly don’t accommodate everyone in your home if you don’t have bucks to feed them, do you? I also wouldn’t have to worry getting down to the saucepans to prepare a meal, because we’d always be on the move. Although modest, he’s one sort of adventurous man; one time he is on a boat, another time on a donkey and another just trekking to God-knows-where. So I would be sure of proggie anytime; a moment at the lakeside as we snack on fish, a boat ride or even a romantic walk on the lake. Jesus is also a no-nonsense dude, judging from the way he threw tables in the temple. Dating him would shield me from stalkers!
Hey, so you actually believe I would date Jesus? No, all I am saying is if you are that dude dying in vain to take me for coffee, just a little bit of those Jesus-like virtues – the courtesy and humility – could earn you a mark. And who knows...
No, Thank you!
Lydia Namubiru
Round and round the rumours swirl
That Jesus once was married true.
But methinks the rumour is false
Because Jesus Christ could make no spouse.
He worked all day without a rest
Up the mountain, across the desert
Makes me think that whence came night
Husband Jesus would have no might
A donkey he rode all desert through
A single rob, all lifetime through
Well, methinks this brother lived rough
A girl like me cannot live rough
He read your mind and never told his own
Trick question, he just wrote the answer down
My heart doth wish to marry an equal
A guy that smart just ain’t my equal
How does a woman keep a home
If her man brings home no dime
Jesus Christ, his job didn’t pay
How then would he, for my shopping pay
Surrounded by crowds all night and day,
Husband Jesus would to me no attention pay
I like to dine and drink some wine
Alone with a man who’s only mine
By Carol Natukunda
YEAH, I would date him. To be honest, I find the portrayal of Jesus “HOTâ€.  So if it were back then – those days when nobody knew that he was the son of God – I’d fall for this dude. Just look at him (well, from the films): handsome, average built and cool. He is stylish – the long hair, I mean. And he seems to have a thing for women with long hair (remember the story of a woman who wiped his feet with her hair?). Now, I am not saying I would do that for him, but wouldn’t that give me a higher mark since my hair is fairly long?
And boy, he has a way with words. Don’t jeer, when just the other day he smit a woman at the well. I mean, there comes a Samaritan woman to draw water: Jesus says to her, “Give me water to drink.†Jews avoid Samaria. (The Samaritans were considered the black sheep of the Jewish family) Jewish men are not supposed to speak to women who were unaccompanied by their fathers or husbands, let alone a Samaritan woman. But here we see Jesus talking to a Samaritan woman, alone! He is tired and thirsty, after all. I love it! Now that is a total man, who stands against all odds. He knows women’s true worth. I don’t really have scripture to back that up, but I do know that the gentleman in Jesus treated her with tenderness and respect despite the cultural mores that gave him permission to judge her. When he told her she had no husband, he did not accuse; instead he stated the truth with love. She was living with a man, unmarried, (back to those mores). He did not call her a whore, which in the eyes of her community, she was. What love! This touches any woman’s heart. No brow beating, no accusing, no superior attitude; rather, respect and tenderness.
And hey, I would want some minutes of fame too. For heaven’s sake this is the guy who performs miracles, healing the sick and raising the dead. So which woman wouldn’t want to be known as the “clout†behind this incredible man? Jesus is so down to earth, far from most guys who want to show off. Okay, you will say he is always in the same attire – the tired robe and sandals – but he is a rich guy. He has a personal accountant called Judas. Tell me how many people hire accountants if they do not have a lot of bucks. He even moves with 12 men (disciples) daily. You certainly don’t accommodate everyone in your home if you don’t have bucks to feed them, do you? I also wouldn’t have to worry getting down to the saucepans to prepare a meal, because we’d always be on the move. Although modest, he’s one sort of adventurous man; one time he is on a boat, another time on a donkey and another just trekking to God-knows-where. So I would be sure of proggie anytime; a moment at the lakeside as we snack on fish, a boat ride or even a romantic walk on the lake. Jesus is also a no-nonsense dude, judging from the way he threw tables in the temple. Dating him would shield me from stalkers!
Hey, so you actually believe I would date Jesus? No, all I am saying is if you are that dude dying in vain to take me for coffee, just a little bit of those Jesus-like virtues – the courtesy and humility – could earn you a mark. And who knows...
No, Thank you!
Lydia Namubiru
Round and round the rumours swirl
That Jesus once was married true.
But methinks the rumour is false
Because Jesus Christ could make no spouse.
He worked all day without a rest
Up the mountain, across the desert
Makes me think that whence came night
Husband Jesus would have no might
A donkey he rode all desert through
A single rob, all lifetime through
Well, methinks this brother lived rough
A girl like me cannot live rough
He read your mind and never told his own
Trick question, he just wrote the answer down
My heart doth wish to marry an equal
A guy that smart just ain’t my equal
How does a woman keep a home
If her man brings home no dime
Jesus Christ, his job didn’t pay
How then would he, for my shopping pay
Surrounded by crowds all night and day,
Husband Jesus would to me no attention pay
I like to dine and drink some wine
Alone with a man who’s only mine