Best Friends are fighting over me
I have developed a habit of laughing to myself in office. Some workmates have openly wondered whether it is a case of lunacy in infancy stages. <br>
Almost every man tells you how you mean the world to him, how he is too good and can never hurt you; if you do not understand men, you might think they are the most precious, but if everyone talks good for himself, why are there bad guys and who are there?
I do not need to first hear that I am his dream come true, or some version of that. If that is the case, I would need a little praise and attention, just as much as he would need it from me before I can give him what he needs.
Married or not, everyone would want to have you, it really sounds like they have a high school crash.
By Vision Reporter
I have developed a habit of laughing to myself in office. Some workmates have openly wondered whether it is a case of lunacy in infancy stages.
Far from it. I am sane, but baffled at how male workmates are struggling to hit on me. Well, if you had not yet known, I am a female intern.
What makes me laugh is that three best male friends I met at work are threatening to tear each other to shreds over my affection. Not that I have reciprocated any of their requests.
Which prompts the major question: What is it with men and female interns? Any fresh and nubile young lady from university will agree that internship is not easy, especially if you are worth a second look.
Men, from top management to the lower echelons are stalkers. Once you enter the office the first day at work, you might be forgiven for assuming Tupac has resurrected — all eyes are on you.
I have lost focus often and once, I missed a step and fell flat, only to be helped by this stalker who now acts like he is God’s gift to women. Often times, you end up swallowing that lump and pride and listen as they recycle internet jokes under the guise of taking you out.
Some are actually fun to be with. “A girl like you can stop traffic. Let us go out so you cause a massive traffic jam with me by your side,†one of them told me. “Isn’t he funny?†I thought.
We started going for lunch on account of his sense of humour. He bragged over all and sundry; how I had fallen head over heels for him.
Among his male friends, we had had sex endless times and everyone in office has a ‘clue’ on what type of lingerie I fancy. Had it been true, I would have confronted this b***ard, but since it was a figment of his imagination, I let it pass. He got to know about it and now suffers the misfortune of ducking whenever we meet.
“Who is that one you are talking to?†one of the male stalkers asks after receiving a call. Do men think they own girls at work?
That is why most guys do not pick up on signs well. A proactive approach, which gets your mind thinking positively instead of negatively, will lead to success in the dating game.
If you are trying too hard to find out what you are supposed to do, you are tuned into your own thoughts instead of the signals someone is sending you.
There is a possibility a woman could be interested in you and would like to become more than friends, so just play it cool like she is not the first to come up to you. She is likely to stop flirting unless she really likes you.
People might not be able to control their feelings, but they should control their behaviour. Everyone has needs and wants, but when you are genuinely interested in someone, you are ravenous about finding out how their mind works.
So, enjoy your fantasies if they make you feel good, but do not act upon them. She is just a good-looking woman.
Coping tips
Keeping quiet about it is not the solution.
Do not get all touchy with colleagues. All demonstrations of affection
Be it an arm thrown around a shoulder, a friendly hug, or a quick peck on the cheek can be misunderstood
Articulate your concerns in the clearest manner. The idea is not to go on the offensive, but to lay down boundaries of acceptable behaviour.
Ask around discreetly and find out if anyone else has also been targeted by your harasser. If you have to register a formal complaint, corroborative evidence will help you build up your case.
Talk to a colleague or sympathetic senior so that you have a reliable witness to stand up for you when it comes down to your word against his.
Keep a detailed diary or journal relating the incidents of sexual harassment as they occur. If you get any offensive or suggestive e-mails or SMS’, save them as proof.
Stick to your story. Refuse to be intimidated by his bluster.
Just because one person has made life miserable for you, does not mean the company is at fault. If those in authority act against him swiftly and firmly, then don’t blame yourself. Move on.
Maintain a professional front at all times. Remain calm; do not get too frantic. These are the same people you will be seeing the next workday at office.
I do not need to first hear that I am his dream come true, or some version of that. If that is the case, I would need a little praise and attention, just as much as he would need it from me before I can give him what he needs.
Married or not, everyone would want to have you, it really sounds like they have a high school crash.
By Vision Reporter
I have developed a habit of laughing to myself in office. Some workmates have openly wondered whether it is a case of lunacy in infancy stages.
Far from it. I am sane, but baffled at how male workmates are struggling to hit on me. Well, if you had not yet known, I am a female intern.
What makes me laugh is that three best male friends I met at work are threatening to tear each other to shreds over my affection. Not that I have reciprocated any of their requests.
Which prompts the major question: What is it with men and female interns? Any fresh and nubile young lady from university will agree that internship is not easy, especially if you are worth a second look.
Men, from top management to the lower echelons are stalkers. Once you enter the office the first day at work, you might be forgiven for assuming Tupac has resurrected — all eyes are on you.
I have lost focus often and once, I missed a step and fell flat, only to be helped by this stalker who now acts like he is God’s gift to women. Often times, you end up swallowing that lump and pride and listen as they recycle internet jokes under the guise of taking you out.
Some are actually fun to be with. “A girl like you can stop traffic. Let us go out so you cause a massive traffic jam with me by your side,†one of them told me. “Isn’t he funny?†I thought.
We started going for lunch on account of his sense of humour. He bragged over all and sundry; how I had fallen head over heels for him.
Among his male friends, we had had sex endless times and everyone in office has a ‘clue’ on what type of lingerie I fancy. Had it been true, I would have confronted this b***ard, but since it was a figment of his imagination, I let it pass. He got to know about it and now suffers the misfortune of ducking whenever we meet.
“Who is that one you are talking to?†one of the male stalkers asks after receiving a call. Do men think they own girls at work?
That is why most guys do not pick up on signs well. A proactive approach, which gets your mind thinking positively instead of negatively, will lead to success in the dating game.
If you are trying too hard to find out what you are supposed to do, you are tuned into your own thoughts instead of the signals someone is sending you.
There is a possibility a woman could be interested in you and would like to become more than friends, so just play it cool like she is not the first to come up to you. She is likely to stop flirting unless she really likes you.
People might not be able to control their feelings, but they should control their behaviour. Everyone has needs and wants, but when you are genuinely interested in someone, you are ravenous about finding out how their mind works.
So, enjoy your fantasies if they make you feel good, but do not act upon them. She is just a good-looking woman.
Coping tips
Keeping quiet about it is not the solution.
Do not get all touchy with colleagues. All demonstrations of affection
Be it an arm thrown around a shoulder, a friendly hug, or a quick peck on the cheek can be misunderstood
Articulate your concerns in the clearest manner. The idea is not to go on the offensive, but to lay down boundaries of acceptable behaviour.
Ask around discreetly and find out if anyone else has also been targeted by your harasser. If you have to register a formal complaint, corroborative evidence will help you build up your case.
Talk to a colleague or sympathetic senior so that you have a reliable witness to stand up for you when it comes down to your word against his.
Keep a detailed diary or journal relating the incidents of sexual harassment as they occur. If you get any offensive or suggestive e-mails or SMS’, save them as proof.
Stick to your story. Refuse to be intimidated by his bluster.
Just because one person has made life miserable for you, does not mean the company is at fault. If those in authority act against him swiftly and firmly, then don’t blame yourself. Move on.
Maintain a professional front at all times. Remain calm; do not get too frantic. These are the same people you will be seeing the next workday at office.