When rape ends in pregnancy

Jun 26, 2009

RAPE is one of the cruelest acts a man can inflict on a woman. In Uganda, cases of rape are increasing with each passing day. Annette Kirabira, a counselling psychologist with Rahab Uganda, explains that besides the pain inflicted, rape victims experience

By A. Kyotalengerire

RAPE is one of the cruelest acts a man can inflict on a woman. In Uganda, cases of rape are increasing with each passing day. Annette Kirabira, a counselling psychologist with Rahab Uganda, explains that besides the pain inflicted, rape victims experience a number of reactions like: trauma, shock, guilt, anxiety and helplessness. She adds that the victims also feel ashamed; they blame themselves for being raped. These are the most torturous feelings that should be dealt with because they determine the thoughts and actions of the victim.

Kirabira adds, these reactions also cause post traumatic stress disorders, which affect the pregnancy. For example, some women experience nightmares and flashbacks of rape during labour and find it difficult to breastfeed.

She advises that confiding in a doctor, midwife or a counsellor provides the opportunity to discuss how you could deal with the reactions and how best to be supported during pregnancy, labour and when the baby is born.

Besides, medical treatment and psychological counselling, it is important that the victim finds a friend or an elderly person who can listen and help her walk through the nasty experience.

Joseph Musalo, a relationship counsellor with Uganda Christian University Mukono, explains that endless questions ring through the victim’s mind. “I am carrying a baby of a rapist. Can I really say it my baby? What kind of baby will this be? How will I tell my child that they are the result of rape?

Though challenging, Musalo advises that the first step the victim must take towards healing is to accept the pregnancy.

Secondly, she should be helped to understand that although the child was conceived through rape, it is not responsible for what happened. The victim should also be helped to learn to love the baby.

She should also receive counselling to help her accept the baby, rather than reject it. Musalo explains that joining support groups is another way the victims can cope with the shame and guilt. The support of family and friends is also very important in enabling a mother prepare for the baby.

He cautions that although some decide to abort the baby, it comes with its own negatives like post abortion syndrome (a feeling of guilt for having killed their baby).

Although some mothers opt to place the baby for adoption, they still need a counsellor to prepare them for that without them feeling guilty for having given the baby away.

Kirabira recommends the following as tips for family and friends in helping the victims cope with the pregnancy and the baby.

Accept the victims as members of the family. Do not discriminate. Show them affection and love.

Support them. If the victim cannot afford to look after the baby, provide the basics like food, clothing and shelter.

Walk with them without judging them.

Provide a good atmosphere that can make the victims feel comfortable despite the challenges.

After the baby is born, let the family accept the baby as another member of the family.

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