TIPS FOR PARENTS
Aug 11, 2009
Some parents are not happy that their children are returning home; especially the unruly ones.
By Jacobs Odongo
Some parents are not happy that their children are returning home; especially the unruly ones.
A child may drink, smoke, only go home when he has no money or become aggressive and commit crimes.
Where does the problem start?
According to Steven Langa, the executive director of Family Life Network, many teenagers succumb to peer pressure.
He says children brought up in families with poor relationships have a history of delinquency. Teenagers who feel neglected by their families, feel their emotional needs are not met, or that they cannot communicate with their parents. “It is normal that people will form unions with people who have similar problems,†he says.
Experts say children who do not do well in school feel they have more hurdles to overcome than the average teenager. This forms anxiety about the future.
Teenagers in this situation might turn to delinquent behaviour, such as drug use to ‘escape’ their problems.
Helping a naughty child
Langa warns that wayward children cannot be ‘fixed’ with stiff punishment. Since behaviour is formed by a series of interpretations that children make of their environment, their surroundings, peers, parents and future; a parent should show unconditional love and accept children as they are.
Trace the roots. Did the problem start in adolescence, or did the child pick it in early adulthood? Langa says understanding the problem helps a parent appreciate how to handle it. Ignorance, on the other hand, would lead a parent to have a negative attitude towards a child, resulting in things like name-calling.
Sometimes children lose track because they are emotionally affected, say, by the loss of a loved one. A young adult who loses a dotting parent is likely to change under emotional stress, yet he may not confide in anyone about how badly he misses the departed.
Many children who pursue a life of vice do so under the influence of older friends and acquaintances. If this might be true in your child’s case, do whatever you can to remove negative influence.
Make your home a family and maintain open communication. Never allow a family member to feel unwanted.
Parents need to see through relationships between their children and have the ability to tell moods at their onset.
A school counsellor may not be able to handle a juvenile delinquent. But a professional psychologist is your best bet, and should be chosen with regard to your child’s personality and history.
A qualified professional can help a child confront their pasts and create positive futures for themselves.
You do not have to point out in his face what a nuisance he is. Have your child believe that he has a positive secure future, lest they begin to practise disruptive behaviour.
“No parent should give up; we should be with them regardless of their behaviour,†says Langa.
Some parents are not happy that their children are returning home; especially the unruly ones.
A child may drink, smoke, only go home when he has no money or become aggressive and commit crimes.
Where does the problem start?
According to Steven Langa, the executive director of Family Life Network, many teenagers succumb to peer pressure.
He says children brought up in families with poor relationships have a history of delinquency. Teenagers who feel neglected by their families, feel their emotional needs are not met, or that they cannot communicate with their parents. “It is normal that people will form unions with people who have similar problems,†he says.
Experts say children who do not do well in school feel they have more hurdles to overcome than the average teenager. This forms anxiety about the future.
Teenagers in this situation might turn to delinquent behaviour, such as drug use to ‘escape’ their problems.
Helping a naughty child
Langa warns that wayward children cannot be ‘fixed’ with stiff punishment. Since behaviour is formed by a series of interpretations that children make of their environment, their surroundings, peers, parents and future; a parent should show unconditional love and accept children as they are.
Trace the roots. Did the problem start in adolescence, or did the child pick it in early adulthood? Langa says understanding the problem helps a parent appreciate how to handle it. Ignorance, on the other hand, would lead a parent to have a negative attitude towards a child, resulting in things like name-calling.
Sometimes children lose track because they are emotionally affected, say, by the loss of a loved one. A young adult who loses a dotting parent is likely to change under emotional stress, yet he may not confide in anyone about how badly he misses the departed.
Many children who pursue a life of vice do so under the influence of older friends and acquaintances. If this might be true in your child’s case, do whatever you can to remove negative influence.
Make your home a family and maintain open communication. Never allow a family member to feel unwanted.
Parents need to see through relationships between their children and have the ability to tell moods at their onset.
A school counsellor may not be able to handle a juvenile delinquent. But a professional psychologist is your best bet, and should be chosen with regard to your child’s personality and history.
A qualified professional can help a child confront their pasts and create positive futures for themselves.
You do not have to point out in his face what a nuisance he is. Have your child believe that he has a positive secure future, lest they begin to practise disruptive behaviour.
“No parent should give up; we should be with them regardless of their behaviour,†says Langa.