Top ten gestures of courtesy
Nov 06, 2009
CAN you imagine we have to write an article like this? Yes you should. Sadly, the courteous gallantry of noble gentleman behaviour is fading out. Men are forgetting how to be good to women. Worse still, they are not imparting the traditional graciousness
CAN you imagine we have to write an article like this? Yes you should. Sadly, the courteous gallantry of noble gentleman behaviour is fading out. Men are forgetting how to be good to women. Worse still, they are not imparting the traditional graciousness to their sons. Forget the female drive for equality; we are the bosses and because of that, we need to behave magnanimously.
1. Walk on the outside
When the two of you are walking on the street, walk by the street side. By keeping her on the safer pavement side, you are protecting her from the traffic and crafty bodabodas who may snatch her handbag. You are ensuring that any muddy waters in the pot holed puddles would not be splashed onto her by a passing vehicle.
2. Let her sit down first
I have seen young couples come into restaurants and the guy grabs the seat first, leaving his lady to call a waiter to clean his seat. In days gone by, it was considered appropriate for a gentleman to pull out a chair for his lady. Nowadays, this is considered a little bit too formal.
As a gentlemanly gesture, you should instead ensure that your lady sits down before you do. Remaining standing for that fraction longer is a mark of respect and good manners, even if she doesn not consciously notice it. Again, this should be done in a non-ostentatious way. Do not make it too obvious that you are waiting for her to sit down.
3. Watch your language
A very important point which is increasingly overlooked in the modern world is inappropriate language. Keep it to your gang at a rowdy football match. A gentleman should pride himself on being erudite and articulate and be capable of expressing himself without resorting to crude vocabulary.
Not only does this demonstrate intelligence, but it also indicates that you have high standards for yourself and for the people around you. This rule can be extended to include using overly long words that you do not even understand. Nothing will make you look more foolish than using a malapropism in an attempt to show off.
4. Carry the umbrella
Another gentlemanly gesture is to hold the umbrella if you find yourself under the same shade. Keeping a lady dry is a great way to demonstrate your excellent conduct. It is even better if the umbrella is yours. A gentleman should always be prepared for inclement weather and a good quality umbrella is an essential tool in your armoury. If there is a chance of rain, take the umbrella. If the heavens open, you demonstrate forethought and planning and show an ability to take care of others. Hold the umbrella above her head, and make sure she does not get wet. If you are getting wet, you must sacrifice your own comfort as part of your gentlemanly gesture.
5. Walk her home
Walking a lady home is an extremely important component of a gentlemanly conduct. It may take you out of your way, but ensuring she gets home safely is your first priority. She will feel safer at the end of the evening if she knows she will be accompanied right to her front door, which will score you big points.
You can risk losing those points, however, if you make the terrible mistake of expecting a reward for your efforts. It is her prerogative to decide whether anything happens at the doorstep. If she lingers, that may be an invitation to go for a kiss, but never expect anything to happen.
6. Offer your jacket
When a woman makes the considerable effort of getting dressed for a date, practicality is not always her first consideration. There are occasions when that dress, while dazzling, simply does not provide adequate protection from the cold. If you notice that it is a cold or wet evening, as a gentleman, you should immediately offer her your jacket. She may refuse, but be attentive to the fact that she may get colder, and do not be afraid to repeat your offer should the weather worsen. Again, as a gentleman, if you are feeling the cold, grin and bear it. The comfort of your lady is your first priority.
7. Offer your seat
Everyone who has a sense of decency would not fail to offer their seat on a bus or anywhere to an elderly person, or a pregnant lady. However, you can go one step further by offering your seat to your date. This is a good one because it shows that you are putting her welfare ahead of your own. The best way to do this is to stand up before offering your seat, rather than making the offer and then standing up.
8. On a date, switch off your phone
It is consistently amazing how many men will interrupt their date in order to take a phone call. This is among the very rudest things you can do to someone, whether she is your date or not. When you are on a date, she should be made to feel like she is the most important person in the world to you at that moment. A phone call means that your date cannot interact in the conversation, and is left sitting uncomfortably, waiting for you to finish. As a gentlemanly gesture, switch your phone off and reply to any missed calls later when you have the time.
9. Introduce her
Much like taking a call and ignoring her, if you fail to introduce her to someone you bump into, she is left feeling isolated and uncomfortable. A gentleman will always make sure that his date is feeling comfortable and an important part of this is having the social awareness to introduce her to your friend or acquaintance. All you need to do is, pause briefly to say her name and position your body so she is included in the conversation. Even if she says nothing, she will feel more involved and more comfortable.
10. Hold the door
When surveyed, around 90% of women regard this as the No.1 gentlemanly gesture. It is a very simple one, but makes a woman feel respected. You should always hold the door for someone entering behind you. Once again, it shows respect for other people, which reflects well on you as a person. An important note to remember is that you should not race your date to get to the door first; this appears try-hard and condescending. As with all these gestures, making them a natural part of your behaviour is essential to ensure that your date receives it positively.
Adapted from www.askmen.com
1. Walk on the outside
When the two of you are walking on the street, walk by the street side. By keeping her on the safer pavement side, you are protecting her from the traffic and crafty bodabodas who may snatch her handbag. You are ensuring that any muddy waters in the pot holed puddles would not be splashed onto her by a passing vehicle.
2. Let her sit down first
I have seen young couples come into restaurants and the guy grabs the seat first, leaving his lady to call a waiter to clean his seat. In days gone by, it was considered appropriate for a gentleman to pull out a chair for his lady. Nowadays, this is considered a little bit too formal.
As a gentlemanly gesture, you should instead ensure that your lady sits down before you do. Remaining standing for that fraction longer is a mark of respect and good manners, even if she doesn not consciously notice it. Again, this should be done in a non-ostentatious way. Do not make it too obvious that you are waiting for her to sit down.
3. Watch your language
A very important point which is increasingly overlooked in the modern world is inappropriate language. Keep it to your gang at a rowdy football match. A gentleman should pride himself on being erudite and articulate and be capable of expressing himself without resorting to crude vocabulary.
Not only does this demonstrate intelligence, but it also indicates that you have high standards for yourself and for the people around you. This rule can be extended to include using overly long words that you do not even understand. Nothing will make you look more foolish than using a malapropism in an attempt to show off.
4. Carry the umbrella
Another gentlemanly gesture is to hold the umbrella if you find yourself under the same shade. Keeping a lady dry is a great way to demonstrate your excellent conduct. It is even better if the umbrella is yours. A gentleman should always be prepared for inclement weather and a good quality umbrella is an essential tool in your armoury. If there is a chance of rain, take the umbrella. If the heavens open, you demonstrate forethought and planning and show an ability to take care of others. Hold the umbrella above her head, and make sure she does not get wet. If you are getting wet, you must sacrifice your own comfort as part of your gentlemanly gesture.
5. Walk her home
Walking a lady home is an extremely important component of a gentlemanly conduct. It may take you out of your way, but ensuring she gets home safely is your first priority. She will feel safer at the end of the evening if she knows she will be accompanied right to her front door, which will score you big points.
You can risk losing those points, however, if you make the terrible mistake of expecting a reward for your efforts. It is her prerogative to decide whether anything happens at the doorstep. If she lingers, that may be an invitation to go for a kiss, but never expect anything to happen.
6. Offer your jacket
When a woman makes the considerable effort of getting dressed for a date, practicality is not always her first consideration. There are occasions when that dress, while dazzling, simply does not provide adequate protection from the cold. If you notice that it is a cold or wet evening, as a gentleman, you should immediately offer her your jacket. She may refuse, but be attentive to the fact that she may get colder, and do not be afraid to repeat your offer should the weather worsen. Again, as a gentleman, if you are feeling the cold, grin and bear it. The comfort of your lady is your first priority.
7. Offer your seat
Everyone who has a sense of decency would not fail to offer their seat on a bus or anywhere to an elderly person, or a pregnant lady. However, you can go one step further by offering your seat to your date. This is a good one because it shows that you are putting her welfare ahead of your own. The best way to do this is to stand up before offering your seat, rather than making the offer and then standing up.
8. On a date, switch off your phone
It is consistently amazing how many men will interrupt their date in order to take a phone call. This is among the very rudest things you can do to someone, whether she is your date or not. When you are on a date, she should be made to feel like she is the most important person in the world to you at that moment. A phone call means that your date cannot interact in the conversation, and is left sitting uncomfortably, waiting for you to finish. As a gentlemanly gesture, switch your phone off and reply to any missed calls later when you have the time.
9. Introduce her
Much like taking a call and ignoring her, if you fail to introduce her to someone you bump into, she is left feeling isolated and uncomfortable. A gentleman will always make sure that his date is feeling comfortable and an important part of this is having the social awareness to introduce her to your friend or acquaintance. All you need to do is, pause briefly to say her name and position your body so she is included in the conversation. Even if she says nothing, she will feel more involved and more comfortable.
10. Hold the door
When surveyed, around 90% of women regard this as the No.1 gentlemanly gesture. It is a very simple one, but makes a woman feel respected. You should always hold the door for someone entering behind you. Once again, it shows respect for other people, which reflects well on you as a person. An important note to remember is that you should not race your date to get to the door first; this appears try-hard and condescending. As with all these gestures, making them a natural part of your behaviour is essential to ensure that your date receives it positively.
Adapted from www.askmen.com