Is age just a number?
Nov 19, 2009
YOU often hear people say that when it comes to love, age is nothing but a number, but this often applies more when the man is older than the woman. <br>It is a whole different matter when a man marries a woman who is older than him.
By Carol Kezaabu
YOU often hear people say that when it comes to love, age is nothing but a number, but this often applies more when the man is older than the woman.
It is a whole different matter when a man marries a woman who is older than him.
Celebrities like Madonna, Joan Collins and Demi Moore are some of the famous women who have dared to marry men almost half their age and for whom the term ‘cougar’ has been coined.
Our society is even more unforgiving. When a man marries an older woman, he is ridiculed to no end.
Denis, a young man, says we have been brought up in a society where the norm is that the man in the relationship should always be older.
“It is okay if the woman is two or three years older, but where the age difference is over 10 years, the older person is psychologically a substitute parent rather than a partner,†he says.
There are many problems associated with such a union. Men take longer to settle down, often wanting to hang out at parties and night clubs.
When people grow older, such activities are far less attractive. If an older woman married to a younger man cannot keep up with his late nights, this can bring problems to the marriage.
With time, the woman might start feeling insecure. The age gap may also enforce differences in understanding and opinions, which may lead them to different paths altogether.
Lifestyle differences, differences in moral values and even in seemingly minor things such as tastes of music, reading or entertainment may eventually strain the marriage
The greatest fear in this marriage is infidelity. At some point, there is likely to be a disparity in the sex drives of the couple. While some experts says that sex is better at an older age, a woman of 50 will probably not be able to keep up with a man of 40 and he will most likely seek out a younger companion.
But Sam, who is married to a woman nine years his senior, has never been happier. He says as people grow older, age differences become less important. How you feel about the person is what really matters.
“If all things remain equal, there will be less difference between a woman of 60 and a man of 50, than between a woman of 30 and a man of 20.â€
Above all, marriage is a personal affair; if you choose to make it a blissful journey, nothing can be a barrier.
Society may proclaim the marriage dead even before it starts, but if both of you are committed, it can work beautifully.
YOU often hear people say that when it comes to love, age is nothing but a number, but this often applies more when the man is older than the woman.
It is a whole different matter when a man marries a woman who is older than him.
Celebrities like Madonna, Joan Collins and Demi Moore are some of the famous women who have dared to marry men almost half their age and for whom the term ‘cougar’ has been coined.
Our society is even more unforgiving. When a man marries an older woman, he is ridiculed to no end.
Denis, a young man, says we have been brought up in a society where the norm is that the man in the relationship should always be older.
“It is okay if the woman is two or three years older, but where the age difference is over 10 years, the older person is psychologically a substitute parent rather than a partner,†he says.
There are many problems associated with such a union. Men take longer to settle down, often wanting to hang out at parties and night clubs.
When people grow older, such activities are far less attractive. If an older woman married to a younger man cannot keep up with his late nights, this can bring problems to the marriage.
With time, the woman might start feeling insecure. The age gap may also enforce differences in understanding and opinions, which may lead them to different paths altogether.
Lifestyle differences, differences in moral values and even in seemingly minor things such as tastes of music, reading or entertainment may eventually strain the marriage
The greatest fear in this marriage is infidelity. At some point, there is likely to be a disparity in the sex drives of the couple. While some experts says that sex is better at an older age, a woman of 50 will probably not be able to keep up with a man of 40 and he will most likely seek out a younger companion.
But Sam, who is married to a woman nine years his senior, has never been happier. He says as people grow older, age differences become less important. How you feel about the person is what really matters.
“If all things remain equal, there will be less difference between a woman of 60 and a man of 50, than between a woman of 30 and a man of 20.â€
Above all, marriage is a personal affair; if you choose to make it a blissful journey, nothing can be a barrier.
Society may proclaim the marriage dead even before it starts, but if both of you are committed, it can work beautifully.