Keep it to yourself
Nov 20, 2009
Cheating is bad. It stinks and can cause a marriage earthquake. You may have made the dumb mistake but you are still a good person. You feel guilty as hell and the righteous will urge you on to own up, beg for forgiveness and relieve your conscience. But
Cheating is bad. It stinks and can cause a marriage earthquake. You may have made the dumb mistake but you are still a good person. You feel guilty as hell and the righteous will urge you on to own up, beg for forgiveness and relieve your conscience. But wise up.
God did not hide certain things beneath our partners’ skins for nothing. Confess and you may be forgiven, but the relationship will never be the same. Hilary bainemigisha argues that after cheating, not even your left hand should know.
1. The marriage can end
Not everybody was born with a forgiving heart. It can break the relationship and Beloved may never come back. Worse, they can stay but never love you ever again.
You remain in a marriage but not married. You get closed off their secrets, are cut out of their plans, stop being partners and other scary possibilities. Living with guilt might be better than living without Beloved.
2. Fear of revenge
One of the challenges of marriage is monotony, which tends to digress from certain natural instincts of some people. There must be a motivation to stay faithful all the time. Telling them you cheated undermines their motivation to stay chaste. It is like handing them a cheating pass. It disarms you of the right to demand fidelity and guess where that relationship can end up?
3. It easily becomes a crushing card
After the confession, all your subsequent arguments will include a reminder that you are a cheat, even if the argument was about who killed Kazini. There is forgiving which partners do with a sore throat, but when it comes to forgetting, it may be asking them too much. Nobody forgets infidelity and the crafty will use it to blackmail you into giving favours, scare you off complaints and generally make your life hell.
4. Because you don’t want to make it a habit
It was a fling. Maybe it you were drunk or in a sticky situation. Or maybe it was one of those once-in-a-lifetime opportunities that you would regret forever if you didn’t give it a shot. But you are convinced it won’t happen again. So why rock the marriage with an affair that is dead? Honesty doesn’t mean admitting every mistake you make! Do you want to spend your marriage life admitting every mistake you will make? Because you know, as a human, they won’t be few!
5. Maybe you are not alone
In modern times, cheating is not a preserve of wrong elements. No wonder HIV reigns high among the married. Before you compose yourself as the all honest and approach Beloved with a signed apology letter, have you peeped into his or her closet? What makes you think that you are the only one in the relationship who cheated?
6. Would you want to know?
Okay, let us be honest; how many people would want to know that their partner has cheated? How many would forgive and throw it behind there where they would never glance at it ever? So, keep quiet! Consider your partner’s comfort. You stole their things, you don’t want to steal their peace too.
7. Because it is selfish
Telling her because you want to ease your conscience benefits only you and your feelings. So, you cheat to satisfy your own animal pleasures and then disclose to cleanse yourself of guilt; isn’t there any other way you can look out for only yourself? It isn’t always about you; there are two of you in the marriage.
8. Situation ethics
In this branch of ethics, we look at the motive rather than the act. As much as you can pat your son on the back for not revealing to robbers that you are actually hiding in the ceiling, you must know which truth is useful for every stakeholder and which one is not. Truth is good but the whole truth is not always good. It is more important to preserve the trust you have in each other as a couple
9. Because they rarely find out
The deed is done and that is regrettable. But if there are trails leading back, that is stupid. You don’t even deserve to be among the married. It is a disgrace to be a cheat and stupid at the same time. Once the crime is committed, your punishment is your nagging conscience and the effort you must make to ensure no information is available to your partner.
Not only should your partner not know about the cheating, they shouldn’t have any reason to even let the thought cross their mind. Remember, what you don’t know won’t hurt you. Why would you want to hurt them and the relationship in the long run?
God did not hide certain things beneath our partners’ skins for nothing. Confess and you may be forgiven, but the relationship will never be the same. Hilary bainemigisha argues that after cheating, not even your left hand should know.
1. The marriage can end
Not everybody was born with a forgiving heart. It can break the relationship and Beloved may never come back. Worse, they can stay but never love you ever again.
You remain in a marriage but not married. You get closed off their secrets, are cut out of their plans, stop being partners and other scary possibilities. Living with guilt might be better than living without Beloved.
2. Fear of revenge
One of the challenges of marriage is monotony, which tends to digress from certain natural instincts of some people. There must be a motivation to stay faithful all the time. Telling them you cheated undermines their motivation to stay chaste. It is like handing them a cheating pass. It disarms you of the right to demand fidelity and guess where that relationship can end up?
3. It easily becomes a crushing card
After the confession, all your subsequent arguments will include a reminder that you are a cheat, even if the argument was about who killed Kazini. There is forgiving which partners do with a sore throat, but when it comes to forgetting, it may be asking them too much. Nobody forgets infidelity and the crafty will use it to blackmail you into giving favours, scare you off complaints and generally make your life hell.
4. Because you don’t want to make it a habit
It was a fling. Maybe it you were drunk or in a sticky situation. Or maybe it was one of those once-in-a-lifetime opportunities that you would regret forever if you didn’t give it a shot. But you are convinced it won’t happen again. So why rock the marriage with an affair that is dead? Honesty doesn’t mean admitting every mistake you make! Do you want to spend your marriage life admitting every mistake you will make? Because you know, as a human, they won’t be few!
5. Maybe you are not alone
In modern times, cheating is not a preserve of wrong elements. No wonder HIV reigns high among the married. Before you compose yourself as the all honest and approach Beloved with a signed apology letter, have you peeped into his or her closet? What makes you think that you are the only one in the relationship who cheated?
6. Would you want to know?
Okay, let us be honest; how many people would want to know that their partner has cheated? How many would forgive and throw it behind there where they would never glance at it ever? So, keep quiet! Consider your partner’s comfort. You stole their things, you don’t want to steal their peace too.
7. Because it is selfish
Telling her because you want to ease your conscience benefits only you and your feelings. So, you cheat to satisfy your own animal pleasures and then disclose to cleanse yourself of guilt; isn’t there any other way you can look out for only yourself? It isn’t always about you; there are two of you in the marriage.
8. Situation ethics
In this branch of ethics, we look at the motive rather than the act. As much as you can pat your son on the back for not revealing to robbers that you are actually hiding in the ceiling, you must know which truth is useful for every stakeholder and which one is not. Truth is good but the whole truth is not always good. It is more important to preserve the trust you have in each other as a couple
9. Because they rarely find out
The deed is done and that is regrettable. But if there are trails leading back, that is stupid. You don’t even deserve to be among the married. It is a disgrace to be a cheat and stupid at the same time. Once the crime is committed, your punishment is your nagging conscience and the effort you must make to ensure no information is available to your partner.
Not only should your partner not know about the cheating, they shouldn’t have any reason to even let the thought cross their mind. Remember, what you don’t know won’t hurt you. Why would you want to hurt them and the relationship in the long run?