Gentlemen, hide your wallets
Dec 11, 2009
Us well-adjusted modern gentlemen define our manhood by our independence.
By Ernest Bazanye
Us well-adjusted modern gentlemen define our manhood by our independence.
We consider when we started feeding ourselves without depending on our parents as the day we officially stopped being boys and became men. Plus, we count the number of people who depend on us as contributors to the scope of our manhood. This is why when we are on dates, it is natural instinct that we pay: because we have become wired to feed ourselves and to feed others, and not to sit there waiting for others to feed us.
But Gentlemen, you have to stop doing this.
You have got to stop paying for everything, every time. You have to occasionally let her pay. If there are any ladies listening, please eavesdrop closer. You should also hear this.
A lot of women do not know that the women’s liberation movement came along and freed everyone, not just women, from oppressive gender roles. These backward women will tell you that it is your role as a man and a provider and a hunter, etc, to pay all the bills while she just sits back and takes, takes and takes. Do not fall for it. Those gender roles were not created by God, they were created by a sexist culture which sought to reassert in as many ways as possible that women were inferior to men. Women did not have independent incomes when the rule that says men should pay the bills came up. You know why? Because we did not allow them to. Do not forget, in many countries, women were not even able to open bank accounts until as recently as the sixties.
But unfortunately for you stingy ladies, things are different now. Women are allowed to wield money, so they should also take the responsibility that comes with it. That includes having to spend it.
When I asked my friend George, who is something of a ladies man, about this matter, he said, “I have no problem with a chick footing the bill,†before nailing it down with very wise words: “My friend, these days things are not easy,†is what he profoundly said. There is a global economic crisis in place and nobody is that rich anymore, so maintaining a dating relationship with someone who never pays for things is made even more difficult. It says terrible things about the whole relationship if you can only see your chick when you can afford to, as if she was a show at Cineplex.
Roles have to change. As Ken says, “They want us to help out in the kitchen and do household chores?†Then, naturally, there should also be equality in other areas.
It is not just about saving money or getting revenge for being made to cook. You just find that you take a woman more seriously if she has shown you that she is your equal. Ideally, the woman you date should be as likely to buy you dinner as you are to buy her dinner. If she is ready to take the initiative to ask you out and pay the bills, it shows that she is ready to be an equal partner in the relationship and not a dependant. An active contributor, not a passive subject. Someone you would be honoured to fight with.
Let me tell you what a few modern women of class and distinction said about the issue.
Sophisticated urban yuppie Carolyn sneers when I ask if a man should always, absolutely always, without respite, pay all the bills on dates. “I do not think the man should always pay the bills unless he is dating a school girl,†she says. She is a serious chick. You do not joke around with her.
Angela, who is similarly serious, says she “hahad†my question when I ask what she would say to girls who expect their man to always pay the bill no matter what. “I could say, get off your butts and feed yourself.†Good advice. “Or you’ will get to an age when no man is going to want to buy you anything so you should practice taking care of yourself now.â€
Women tell me that they like it when a man is chivalrous, when he pays special attention to her needs, even in small gestures like opening doors, pulling out chairs, buying her things and paying for dinner. It makes her feel appreciated, shows her that he values her as a person.
Now why does your girlfriend think you don’t also want to feel appreciated? Why does she think that you do not need gestures to show that she values you? I have been taken out to dinner and I will tell you, it feels great, and I think women should do this for their men a lot more. I have my own damn money and do not need charity, but I appreciate it when someone once in a while gives me a treat.
Us well-adjusted modern gentlemen define our manhood by our independence.
We consider when we started feeding ourselves without depending on our parents as the day we officially stopped being boys and became men. Plus, we count the number of people who depend on us as contributors to the scope of our manhood. This is why when we are on dates, it is natural instinct that we pay: because we have become wired to feed ourselves and to feed others, and not to sit there waiting for others to feed us.
But Gentlemen, you have to stop doing this.
You have got to stop paying for everything, every time. You have to occasionally let her pay. If there are any ladies listening, please eavesdrop closer. You should also hear this.
A lot of women do not know that the women’s liberation movement came along and freed everyone, not just women, from oppressive gender roles. These backward women will tell you that it is your role as a man and a provider and a hunter, etc, to pay all the bills while she just sits back and takes, takes and takes. Do not fall for it. Those gender roles were not created by God, they were created by a sexist culture which sought to reassert in as many ways as possible that women were inferior to men. Women did not have independent incomes when the rule that says men should pay the bills came up. You know why? Because we did not allow them to. Do not forget, in many countries, women were not even able to open bank accounts until as recently as the sixties.
But unfortunately for you stingy ladies, things are different now. Women are allowed to wield money, so they should also take the responsibility that comes with it. That includes having to spend it.
When I asked my friend George, who is something of a ladies man, about this matter, he said, “I have no problem with a chick footing the bill,†before nailing it down with very wise words: “My friend, these days things are not easy,†is what he profoundly said. There is a global economic crisis in place and nobody is that rich anymore, so maintaining a dating relationship with someone who never pays for things is made even more difficult. It says terrible things about the whole relationship if you can only see your chick when you can afford to, as if she was a show at Cineplex.
Roles have to change. As Ken says, “They want us to help out in the kitchen and do household chores?†Then, naturally, there should also be equality in other areas.
It is not just about saving money or getting revenge for being made to cook. You just find that you take a woman more seriously if she has shown you that she is your equal. Ideally, the woman you date should be as likely to buy you dinner as you are to buy her dinner. If she is ready to take the initiative to ask you out and pay the bills, it shows that she is ready to be an equal partner in the relationship and not a dependant. An active contributor, not a passive subject. Someone you would be honoured to fight with.
Let me tell you what a few modern women of class and distinction said about the issue.
Sophisticated urban yuppie Carolyn sneers when I ask if a man should always, absolutely always, without respite, pay all the bills on dates. “I do not think the man should always pay the bills unless he is dating a school girl,†she says. She is a serious chick. You do not joke around with her.
Angela, who is similarly serious, says she “hahad†my question when I ask what she would say to girls who expect their man to always pay the bill no matter what. “I could say, get off your butts and feed yourself.†Good advice. “Or you’ will get to an age when no man is going to want to buy you anything so you should practice taking care of yourself now.â€
Women tell me that they like it when a man is chivalrous, when he pays special attention to her needs, even in small gestures like opening doors, pulling out chairs, buying her things and paying for dinner. It makes her feel appreciated, shows her that he values her as a person.
Now why does your girlfriend think you don’t also want to feel appreciated? Why does she think that you do not need gestures to show that she values you? I have been taken out to dinner and I will tell you, it feels great, and I think women should do this for their men a lot more. I have my own damn money and do not need charity, but I appreciate it when someone once in a while gives me a treat.