Have you lost interest in sex?
Jan 04, 2008
MEN don’t like to talk about it; neither do their partners. But loss of interest in sex (libido) stresses a marriage more than any other sexual dysfunction. Losing interest in sex may not be as common an occurrence for men as it is for women.
MEN don’t like to talk about it; neither do their partners. But loss of interest in sex (libido) stresses a marriage more than any other sexual dysfunction. Losing interest in sex may not be as common an occurrence for men as it is for women.
According to Barry McCarthy’s book, Rekindling Desire: A Step by Step Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages, it affects about 15% to 16% of men. When men lose interest in sex, it scares them more than women — their masculinity is so linked to their sexuality that it is very threatening.
But loss of libido is not something you have to live with. There is much you can do to regain your sex drive and your happy outlook on life. So, if you are in a committed relationship and having sex less often than the norm - about once a week - you might need to do something about it.
What is the problem?
The causes of this complex problem range from the physical and medical to the psychological and social. This means that patience is needed to return to normal; quick fixes do not solve anything. To work out a solution, you need to identify the possible causes and address them. They may include the following.
Erectile Dysfunction
Some men develop difficulty in achieving or maintaining an erection. It may be due to infection, diet, medication or psychological problems. Consult doctors; there are drugs that can help.
Performance anxiety
Anxiety about performance and climaxing too early is a common ego problem among men. Keep your expectations real. Bear in mind that not every sexual encounter has to be perfect. McCarthy writes in his book that you can even laugh off moments when things don’t work right; it takes some pressure and guilt off of her, too. You also need support from your partner with whom you should maintain open communication
Stress
Modern work demands, domestic challenges, social burden and financial challenges affect the relaxing abilities of most men and often numb them sexually.
Medical conditions
Medical problems and chronic physical conditions such as cancer and depression can certainly dampen any thoughts of sex.
Cardiovascular disease, hypertension and diabetes can reduce blood flow to the genitals, wrecking havoc on libido. Chronic alcoholism and even occasional excessive alcohol consumption are notorious for inflaming desire but impeding performance.
Conditions such as thyroid disorders and tumours of the pituitary gland (which controls most hormone production, including sex hormones) can also lower libido.
Medications
Some depression drugs can inhibit desire. So can tranquilizers and blood pressure medications. Inform your doctor to get you alternative medication that may have less impact on sexual desire.
The quality of the relationship
Sexual desire also depends on how happy you are in your relationship. Problems with sex can - but do not always - signal other problems in the relationship that need to be addressed. Anger and disappointment often carry over into the bedroom.
Too much togetherness
The paradox of modern relationships is that greater intimacy may not make for better sex. “Sometimes too much closeness stifles desire; fire needs air,†says Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity.
“Separateness is a precondition for connection. When intimacy collapses into fusion, it is not lack of closeness but too much closeness that impedes desire.â€
Loss of love
Physical changes on your wife due to age or stress, marital conflict, infidelity, widening differences in belief, attitudes and desires can affect your emotional relationship reducing your desire for sex.
Source: WebMD Feature
According to Barry McCarthy’s book, Rekindling Desire: A Step by Step Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages, it affects about 15% to 16% of men. When men lose interest in sex, it scares them more than women — their masculinity is so linked to their sexuality that it is very threatening.
But loss of libido is not something you have to live with. There is much you can do to regain your sex drive and your happy outlook on life. So, if you are in a committed relationship and having sex less often than the norm - about once a week - you might need to do something about it.
What is the problem?
The causes of this complex problem range from the physical and medical to the psychological and social. This means that patience is needed to return to normal; quick fixes do not solve anything. To work out a solution, you need to identify the possible causes and address them. They may include the following.
Erectile Dysfunction
Some men develop difficulty in achieving or maintaining an erection. It may be due to infection, diet, medication or psychological problems. Consult doctors; there are drugs that can help.
Performance anxiety
Anxiety about performance and climaxing too early is a common ego problem among men. Keep your expectations real. Bear in mind that not every sexual encounter has to be perfect. McCarthy writes in his book that you can even laugh off moments when things don’t work right; it takes some pressure and guilt off of her, too. You also need support from your partner with whom you should maintain open communication
Stress
Modern work demands, domestic challenges, social burden and financial challenges affect the relaxing abilities of most men and often numb them sexually.
Medical conditions
Medical problems and chronic physical conditions such as cancer and depression can certainly dampen any thoughts of sex.
Cardiovascular disease, hypertension and diabetes can reduce blood flow to the genitals, wrecking havoc on libido. Chronic alcoholism and even occasional excessive alcohol consumption are notorious for inflaming desire but impeding performance.
Conditions such as thyroid disorders and tumours of the pituitary gland (which controls most hormone production, including sex hormones) can also lower libido.
Medications
Some depression drugs can inhibit desire. So can tranquilizers and blood pressure medications. Inform your doctor to get you alternative medication that may have less impact on sexual desire.
The quality of the relationship
Sexual desire also depends on how happy you are in your relationship. Problems with sex can - but do not always - signal other problems in the relationship that need to be addressed. Anger and disappointment often carry over into the bedroom.
Too much togetherness
The paradox of modern relationships is that greater intimacy may not make for better sex. “Sometimes too much closeness stifles desire; fire needs air,†says Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity.
“Separateness is a precondition for connection. When intimacy collapses into fusion, it is not lack of closeness but too much closeness that impedes desire.â€
Loss of love
Physical changes on your wife due to age or stress, marital conflict, infidelity, widening differences in belief, attitudes and desires can affect your emotional relationship reducing your desire for sex.
Source: WebMD Feature