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Feb 08, 2008
<b>Dear aunt<br>I loved my girlfriend until recently when I caught her cheating on me. I saw her enter a lodge with a man and I waited until they walked out. After witnessing it, I went back to my office and within 30 minutes she came. When I explained to her what I had seen, she denied having done
Dear aunt
I loved my girlfriend until recently when I caught her cheating on me. I saw her enter a lodge with a man and I waited until they walked out. After witnessing it, I went back to my office and within 30 minutes she came. When I explained to her what I had seen, she denied having done anything and yet I had seen her. What do I do?
H.K
Dear H.K,
Failure of a relationship is a process and cheating might just be the climax of it. There is a possibility that your girlfriend had been involved with another man for some time and she was not doing this for the first time. Have you thought about the health risks you face by being involved with a lady who has multiple sexual partners? Painful as it seems, you need to accept that this relationship has gone sour. She might find it difficult to admit having cheated on you but her denial does not change the problem. How well do you communicate with her? Her cheating is a symptom of a problem she hasn’t discussed with you. Communication would help, but keep the risks in mind should you opt to rekindle the affair.
Dear aunt,
I have been in relationship with my fiancée for seven years and we have a six-year-old son. We are of different tribes and in our late twenties. I discovered recently that she has a new catch, an old man with two wives and she would like to be the third. She seems taken up by him just because the man is rich and is her tribesmate.
I have warned this man to leave my wife but he has refused. I paid fees amounting to sh5.4m for her at Makerere, got her a job and bought her a car. I also furnished her house with GTV and sophisticated electric gadgets but she is not contented. In addition, I am a performer in bed and she knows that. I have a good job and some cash but frustration is killing me. At one point I wanted this old man dead, but my dad calmed me down. What do I do?
F.B
Dear F.B,
You have invested materially and emotionally in this relationship and you feel your fiancée owes you something. Since your relationship is not official, you do not have any legal rights over her. Remember, there is more to a successful relationship than just material ‘investment’ or sexual satisfaction. There seems to be a communication breakdown in your relationship and killing her boyfriend wouldn’t help. Consider involving a third party whom your fiancée respects, to mediate. Try not to accuse her of anything. Let her know you are concerned about the challenges both of you are facing. Before any talks, ask yourself where you might have gone wrong. Your relationship can be saved when you communicate and appreciate each other’s emotional needs.
Send your questions to
intimate@newvision.co.ug
I loved my girlfriend until recently when I caught her cheating on me. I saw her enter a lodge with a man and I waited until they walked out. After witnessing it, I went back to my office and within 30 minutes she came. When I explained to her what I had seen, she denied having done anything and yet I had seen her. What do I do?
H.K
Dear H.K,
Failure of a relationship is a process and cheating might just be the climax of it. There is a possibility that your girlfriend had been involved with another man for some time and she was not doing this for the first time. Have you thought about the health risks you face by being involved with a lady who has multiple sexual partners? Painful as it seems, you need to accept that this relationship has gone sour. She might find it difficult to admit having cheated on you but her denial does not change the problem. How well do you communicate with her? Her cheating is a symptom of a problem she hasn’t discussed with you. Communication would help, but keep the risks in mind should you opt to rekindle the affair.
Dear aunt,
I have been in relationship with my fiancée for seven years and we have a six-year-old son. We are of different tribes and in our late twenties. I discovered recently that she has a new catch, an old man with two wives and she would like to be the third. She seems taken up by him just because the man is rich and is her tribesmate.
I have warned this man to leave my wife but he has refused. I paid fees amounting to sh5.4m for her at Makerere, got her a job and bought her a car. I also furnished her house with GTV and sophisticated electric gadgets but she is not contented. In addition, I am a performer in bed and she knows that. I have a good job and some cash but frustration is killing me. At one point I wanted this old man dead, but my dad calmed me down. What do I do?
F.B
Dear F.B,
You have invested materially and emotionally in this relationship and you feel your fiancée owes you something. Since your relationship is not official, you do not have any legal rights over her. Remember, there is more to a successful relationship than just material ‘investment’ or sexual satisfaction. There seems to be a communication breakdown in your relationship and killing her boyfriend wouldn’t help. Consider involving a third party whom your fiancée respects, to mediate. Try not to accuse her of anything. Let her know you are concerned about the challenges both of you are facing. Before any talks, ask yourself where you might have gone wrong. Your relationship can be saved when you communicate and appreciate each other’s emotional needs.
Send your questions to
intimate@newvision.co.ug