Friend for manager: How do you relate?
WITH demanding work schedules and long working hours, it is inevitable for workers to have friends at the workplace. However, these friendships can be affected by workplace changes like promotions.
By Fred Ouma
WITH demanding work schedules and long working hours, it is inevitable for workers to have friends at the workplace. However, these friendships can be affected by workplace changes like promotions.
When you become your friend’s supervisor or your friend becomes yours, it changes not only your working relationship but also your friendship. Experts offer four tips for handling this complicated state of affairs.
Acknowledge the change
The new manager will have access to confidential information that cannot always be shared. Also, it may no longer be appropriate for you to gossip about co-workers like before.
“There are now new boundaries about what you can talk about and share,†warns Silvia Nandera, a human resource and management consultant.
“If you are the new boss, you control some resources that might go to your friend.â€
“If your friend got a promotion you had been hoping for, you might feel angry and resentful. There is an elephant in the room when this happens. Make it explicit,†Nandera advises.
Talk to other people
Even though you and your co-worker can remain friends, you will lose parts of your old relationship. You need to find a way to replace the support you used to get from sharing secrets with your friend or complaining about the boss together.
“One of the strategies is to develop some support systems with people in a similar role in other organisations,†Nandera says. Professional associations can help you.
“If a friend becomes your boss, assess and talk about your feelings about the change with someone else,†suggests Ruth Ssenyonga, a counsellor. “Am I feeling positive? “She really deserves the promotion, how can I support her?†“If I feel negative, where are my negative feelings coming from?â€
Talk to your friend
It may help to talk with your friend about the way your relationship has changed. What you say depends on a lot of factors: who is the new boss, whether you’re genuinely happy about the situation, how close your relationship was before the promotion. In a few cases, it may be more productive to keep quiet.
If you are happy for your friend-turned-boss, Ssenyonga suggests saying so.
“You might even say, ‘I realise that as a manager things may change a little bit, but we’ve been friends. The important thing is that we support each other. I’m here to support you and help you be successful,†Ssenyonga suggests.
Stay positive
Things may turn out better than you expect. Schlossberg Sarasota, the author of “Overwhelmed: Coping with Life’s Ups and Downs,†once became the supervisor of some friends who had been her peers. She discovered that her friends were delighted about the change. They expected her to be a more supportive boss than their previous one.
“You have to separate the friendship from what you have to do as a boss,†Sarasota says. “As long as they stay respectful, they might be surprised at how well it can go.â€
WITH demanding work schedules and long working hours, it is inevitable for workers to have friends at the workplace. However, these friendships can be affected by workplace changes like promotions.
When you become your friend’s supervisor or your friend becomes yours, it changes not only your working relationship but also your friendship. Experts offer four tips for handling this complicated state of affairs.
Acknowledge the change
The new manager will have access to confidential information that cannot always be shared. Also, it may no longer be appropriate for you to gossip about co-workers like before.
“There are now new boundaries about what you can talk about and share,†warns Silvia Nandera, a human resource and management consultant.
“If you are the new boss, you control some resources that might go to your friend.â€
“If your friend got a promotion you had been hoping for, you might feel angry and resentful. There is an elephant in the room when this happens. Make it explicit,†Nandera advises.
Talk to other people
Even though you and your co-worker can remain friends, you will lose parts of your old relationship. You need to find a way to replace the support you used to get from sharing secrets with your friend or complaining about the boss together.
“One of the strategies is to develop some support systems with people in a similar role in other organisations,†Nandera says. Professional associations can help you.
“If a friend becomes your boss, assess and talk about your feelings about the change with someone else,†suggests Ruth Ssenyonga, a counsellor. “Am I feeling positive? “She really deserves the promotion, how can I support her?†“If I feel negative, where are my negative feelings coming from?â€
Talk to your friend
It may help to talk with your friend about the way your relationship has changed. What you say depends on a lot of factors: who is the new boss, whether you’re genuinely happy about the situation, how close your relationship was before the promotion. In a few cases, it may be more productive to keep quiet.
If you are happy for your friend-turned-boss, Ssenyonga suggests saying so.
“You might even say, ‘I realise that as a manager things may change a little bit, but we’ve been friends. The important thing is that we support each other. I’m here to support you and help you be successful,†Ssenyonga suggests.
Stay positive
Things may turn out better than you expect. Schlossberg Sarasota, the author of “Overwhelmed: Coping with Life’s Ups and Downs,†once became the supervisor of some friends who had been her peers. She discovered that her friends were delighted about the change. They expected her to be a more supportive boss than their previous one.
“You have to separate the friendship from what you have to do as a boss,†Sarasota says. “As long as they stay respectful, they might be surprised at how well it can go.â€