Can you have freedom in marriage?
AT a wedding last weekend, many speakers kept reminding the couple of the freedom they had lost, saying the two had ‘open-eyedly’ offered their arms for eternal bondage.
AT a wedding last weekend, many speakers kept reminding the couple of the freedom they had lost, saying the two had ‘open-eyedly’ offered their arms for eternal bondage.
I remember looking at myself and wondering whether I felt bound as a married man and whether I needed bail or fresh air or something.
I also remembered a US research that blamed frequent marriage failures to what they called ‘invading each other’s space’.
And, did I not also call to mind a talk I gave to people preparing for marriage? I told them that there is nothing like marriage and independence.
Then, I stopped remembering. It is usually my policy to keep my wondering mind on the function I am attending, especially on the drinks.
But the more I saw the bottom of a bottle, the more I mused about marriage bondage. I am glad to announce today that I have digested the topic and passed it through several peer reviews in my brain and I am ready to announce and defend the fact that there is such a thing as freedom after marriage.
When you cross the wedding line, the freedom you used to have does not go away. It is transformed into a new freedom that is appreciated and defined from the perspective of marriage. To enjoy this, the newly wed must define their freedom positively, not from the negative perception of lost freedom to hang out till sinful hours.
Marriage brings freedom from the pressures of irresponsibility.
There is pressure on the outside of marriage, within dating, searching for the right one, maintaining an image before peers and stuff like that, which do not make you a successful person. To decide to marry becomes an escape valve into a freedom to bond, have sex without looking behind your back, raise children, be recognised as an adult in society and generally feel so.
I have interacted with some who seem to have issues with independence in marriage. A husband and wife still want to maintain separate entities in their bedrooms.
While this is a matter of preference, the wise ones know that surrender of individualism and secrecy is very protective. It can keep you from temptation so that you focus all your energies in the new responsibilities of fatherhood. So, next time some bagole give me a chance to talk, be sure the subject will be how to enjoy the new marital freedom. Just make sure I speak before I drink-ko.
hbainemigisha@newvision.co.ug
I remember looking at myself and wondering whether I felt bound as a married man and whether I needed bail or fresh air or something.
I also remembered a US research that blamed frequent marriage failures to what they called ‘invading each other’s space’.
And, did I not also call to mind a talk I gave to people preparing for marriage? I told them that there is nothing like marriage and independence.
Then, I stopped remembering. It is usually my policy to keep my wondering mind on the function I am attending, especially on the drinks.
But the more I saw the bottom of a bottle, the more I mused about marriage bondage. I am glad to announce today that I have digested the topic and passed it through several peer reviews in my brain and I am ready to announce and defend the fact that there is such a thing as freedom after marriage.
When you cross the wedding line, the freedom you used to have does not go away. It is transformed into a new freedom that is appreciated and defined from the perspective of marriage. To enjoy this, the newly wed must define their freedom positively, not from the negative perception of lost freedom to hang out till sinful hours.
Marriage brings freedom from the pressures of irresponsibility.
There is pressure on the outside of marriage, within dating, searching for the right one, maintaining an image before peers and stuff like that, which do not make you a successful person. To decide to marry becomes an escape valve into a freedom to bond, have sex without looking behind your back, raise children, be recognised as an adult in society and generally feel so.
I have interacted with some who seem to have issues with independence in marriage. A husband and wife still want to maintain separate entities in their bedrooms.
While this is a matter of preference, the wise ones know that surrender of individualism and secrecy is very protective. It can keep you from temptation so that you focus all your energies in the new responsibilities of fatherhood. So, next time some bagole give me a chance to talk, be sure the subject will be how to enjoy the new marital freedom. Just make sure I speak before I drink-ko.
hbainemigisha@newvision.co.ug