You Ask Us
Apr 28, 2008
<b>Dear aunt,</b><br>I am a university student aged 21. I have a girlfriend whom I met through the internet. I love her looks and would not like to lose her. However, she told me that before we met, she had a sugar daddy who now works in Juba.
Dear aunt,
I am a university student aged 21. I have a girlfriend whom I met through the internet. I love her looks and would not like to lose her. However, she told me that before we met, she had a sugar daddy who now works in Juba. She also confessed that she is pregnant. I’ve not had sex with her. I recently asked her to allow me find another girlfriend since I am not responsible for her pregnancy but this hurt her deeply. I also felt sorry for her and promised to stand by her. I love this girl very much and she loves me too but I am not ready to take on the responsibility. What should I do?
B.S
Dear B.S,
It is clear that you are with this girl out of sympathy. Your attraction seems to be based more on looks than personality. Since looks change with age, a relationship based on physical appearance risks sinking when this happens. Since the pregnancy complicates the relationship further, you need to understand her beyond it. understand her past and present before you think of a future with her. Have you thought about the risk of being involved with a lady who has had more than one sexual partner? Can you guarantee that she will not continue her relationship with the father of her child? Love cannot grow with somebody you hardly know. Take your time. don’t let emotions overwhelm you.
Dear Aunt,,
I am a working lady aged 31, married with three children. My husband has been complaining that the last two are not his. I tried to convince him to go for a DNA test but he has refused. How can I convince him to go for it? I am depressed by these allegations.
 M.L
Dear M.L,
Your problem seems to be deeper than what you have stated. Your husband’s suspicion might be a symptom of an underlying problem in your marriage. How well do you communicate? Do you meet each other’s sexual needs sufficiently? Suspicions of this nature are common among couples who stay apart or who suffer communication breakdown. Although DNA seems appropriate, it might not provide a long-term solution. Find out what makes him feel the children are not his. Listen to his side of the story without condemning him. Does he suspect you have an extramarital affair? This issue threatens the survival of your marriage and you need to act fast. You could go to a professional counsellor.
I am a university student aged 21. I have a girlfriend whom I met through the internet. I love her looks and would not like to lose her. However, she told me that before we met, she had a sugar daddy who now works in Juba. She also confessed that she is pregnant. I’ve not had sex with her. I recently asked her to allow me find another girlfriend since I am not responsible for her pregnancy but this hurt her deeply. I also felt sorry for her and promised to stand by her. I love this girl very much and she loves me too but I am not ready to take on the responsibility. What should I do?
B.S
Dear B.S,
It is clear that you are with this girl out of sympathy. Your attraction seems to be based more on looks than personality. Since looks change with age, a relationship based on physical appearance risks sinking when this happens. Since the pregnancy complicates the relationship further, you need to understand her beyond it. understand her past and present before you think of a future with her. Have you thought about the risk of being involved with a lady who has had more than one sexual partner? Can you guarantee that she will not continue her relationship with the father of her child? Love cannot grow with somebody you hardly know. Take your time. don’t let emotions overwhelm you.
Dear Aunt,,
I am a working lady aged 31, married with three children. My husband has been complaining that the last two are not his. I tried to convince him to go for a DNA test but he has refused. How can I convince him to go for it? I am depressed by these allegations.
 M.L
Dear M.L,
Your problem seems to be deeper than what you have stated. Your husband’s suspicion might be a symptom of an underlying problem in your marriage. How well do you communicate? Do you meet each other’s sexual needs sufficiently? Suspicions of this nature are common among couples who stay apart or who suffer communication breakdown. Although DNA seems appropriate, it might not provide a long-term solution. Find out what makes him feel the children are not his. Listen to his side of the story without condemning him. Does he suspect you have an extramarital affair? This issue threatens the survival of your marriage and you need to act fast. You could go to a professional counsellor.