Don’t go public with in-house fights
IT has happened to many men. Take me for instance. One time, I delivered to a certain woman cargo of no ordinary kind. She welcomed me with a smile and carefully put the booty under lock. When the time for me to ‘speak’ came, she refused to let me.
Hilary Bainemigisha
IT has happened to many men. Take me for instance. One time, I delivered to a certain woman cargo of no ordinary kind. She welcomed me with a smile and carefully put the booty under lock. When the time for me to ‘speak’ came, she refused to let me.
I have always considered this to be the most unfair treatment till the lugubrious prime minister suffered the same fate last week at the funeral of our beloved Kiggundu.
But Nsibambi should know that is a man’s fate. Men hardly give up: I did not give up — I went back to the woman. Otafiire does not give up — he always fires back at Mwonda. Mehta does not give up — isn’t Mabira coming up again?
We, in the Movement, think Besigye was involved in switching off Nsibambi’s microphone. We also insist that nobody tampered with Kiggundu’s death. But we must add that we did not pay anybody to forcefully circumcise UPC’s 60-year-old Stephen Mujoroto as he alleges. We are too busy planning how to rule forever, didn’t Otafiire tell you?
And speaking of Otafiire, today my issue is the Otafiire versus Mwondha fire. Of late, the minister and the inspector general of government seem to be competing with the rising school fires in mystery, recurrence and scramble for the front page. We now have to pause our lives to debate whose barking is more scaring.
These very important people belong to the same family whose motto is wrong forum. But they seem to have taken their personal egos beyond the bedroom! You see, a fish smells badly especially when left unattended to on a good day. But when it is in water, everyone assumes it is bathed and clean. That is the principle most successful relationships use. Keep your smell under water.
I grew up to adult age swearing that my parents had never exchanged even a frown. But I am now wiser enough to appreciate the possibility that it was not smooth all the time. I was an insider and still thought our movement was impeccable — that is the mark of mature lovers.
Couples who bicker publicly on matters that would have ended in bedrooms earn re-entry permits to the gossip factory.
The people you narrate your love conflicts to will usually have similar issues, why do you think they are not seeking your counsel? Your, ‘don’t tell anyone’ conclusion sublimes in air because the friends of each ear you have ‘confided’ into will get a copy, probably with the same ‘don’t tell anyone’ conclusion. Exposing your internal weakness avails rivals fodder to chew on over weekend bimeezas and your competitors get chance to edge themselves into the fray to oust you.
So, when internal consensus fails and public confrontation becomes the next school fire, seek counsel from respected members who have a stake in your marriage. Use those who benefit from the strength of your relationship or who stand to lose with its demise. Put aside personal egos and let the spirit of the union take priority.
If you think you are not getting a good intervention, go to professional counsellors. They are neutral, analytical and bound by professional ethics to act as a grave to all your secrets.
Above all, the solution is in avoiding partners who keep no secrets. During dating, watch-out for partners whose problem solving techniques involve broadcasting and press conferences. Explain to them the difference between public and private, official and real, outside and inside. Let them know that even when it seems to work, as it did with Bukenya and the alleged mafias, it sows bad seeds which will catch up with you with time. Later when a woman named Nakku used the same press, did Mahogany like it?
Make sure you do not cross the matrimony line with a partner who is not scared of the wrong forum. When your catch turns out in that category, cast your net the other side of the boat; you will catch better fish.
hbainemigisha@newvision.co.ug
IT has happened to many men. Take me for instance. One time, I delivered to a certain woman cargo of no ordinary kind. She welcomed me with a smile and carefully put the booty under lock. When the time for me to ‘speak’ came, she refused to let me.
I have always considered this to be the most unfair treatment till the lugubrious prime minister suffered the same fate last week at the funeral of our beloved Kiggundu.
But Nsibambi should know that is a man’s fate. Men hardly give up: I did not give up — I went back to the woman. Otafiire does not give up — he always fires back at Mwonda. Mehta does not give up — isn’t Mabira coming up again?
We, in the Movement, think Besigye was involved in switching off Nsibambi’s microphone. We also insist that nobody tampered with Kiggundu’s death. But we must add that we did not pay anybody to forcefully circumcise UPC’s 60-year-old Stephen Mujoroto as he alleges. We are too busy planning how to rule forever, didn’t Otafiire tell you?
And speaking of Otafiire, today my issue is the Otafiire versus Mwondha fire. Of late, the minister and the inspector general of government seem to be competing with the rising school fires in mystery, recurrence and scramble for the front page. We now have to pause our lives to debate whose barking is more scaring.
These very important people belong to the same family whose motto is wrong forum. But they seem to have taken their personal egos beyond the bedroom! You see, a fish smells badly especially when left unattended to on a good day. But when it is in water, everyone assumes it is bathed and clean. That is the principle most successful relationships use. Keep your smell under water.
I grew up to adult age swearing that my parents had never exchanged even a frown. But I am now wiser enough to appreciate the possibility that it was not smooth all the time. I was an insider and still thought our movement was impeccable — that is the mark of mature lovers.
Couples who bicker publicly on matters that would have ended in bedrooms earn re-entry permits to the gossip factory.
The people you narrate your love conflicts to will usually have similar issues, why do you think they are not seeking your counsel? Your, ‘don’t tell anyone’ conclusion sublimes in air because the friends of each ear you have ‘confided’ into will get a copy, probably with the same ‘don’t tell anyone’ conclusion. Exposing your internal weakness avails rivals fodder to chew on over weekend bimeezas and your competitors get chance to edge themselves into the fray to oust you.
So, when internal consensus fails and public confrontation becomes the next school fire, seek counsel from respected members who have a stake in your marriage. Use those who benefit from the strength of your relationship or who stand to lose with its demise. Put aside personal egos and let the spirit of the union take priority.
If you think you are not getting a good intervention, go to professional counsellors. They are neutral, analytical and bound by professional ethics to act as a grave to all your secrets.
Above all, the solution is in avoiding partners who keep no secrets. During dating, watch-out for partners whose problem solving techniques involve broadcasting and press conferences. Explain to them the difference between public and private, official and real, outside and inside. Let them know that even when it seems to work, as it did with Bukenya and the alleged mafias, it sows bad seeds which will catch up with you with time. Later when a woman named Nakku used the same press, did Mahogany like it?
Make sure you do not cross the matrimony line with a partner who is not scared of the wrong forum. When your catch turns out in that category, cast your net the other side of the boat; you will catch better fish.
hbainemigisha@newvision.co.ug