Money- Is it key to a good relationship?
Oct 23, 2008
MONEY is important. Do not let any girl convince you that it isn’t. Many of us are too shy to admit it, but we would rather be with a guy with a bit of ‘green’ in his wallet. Materialistic? No, just realistic. <br>
MONEY is important. Do not let any girl convince you that it isn’t. Many of us are too shy to admit it, but we would rather be with a guy with a bit of ‘green’ in his wallet. Materialistic? No, just realistic.
Even the greatest of loves will turn cold once there is no food on the table for days on end. I am not talking millions or big Benzes (although they are tempting) I am talking about the ability to at least buy food or pay taxi fares without flinching.
Many people in relationships have been in awkward positions because of the lack or availability of money.
In the first weeks of dating Emma, Tina wanted to show him that she was independent, and that she was not after money. So she used to call him, as opposed to beeping. She also paid for their meals.
But down the road, he started beeping her and asking her for transport money. Worse still, when he got money, she would be the last to see it. She vowed never to date a man without money.
Henry Nsubuga, a psychologist, says there should be openness in a relationship, even when it involves money. “Both parties should be able to put their earnings on the table and plan,†he says.
Janet did not know what to expect from Jamie. They had a good relationship and were happy, but his wallet would disappear at the strangest of times — time to pay the bills and fuel the car.
At such times, she was always frantically searching through her bag for money. “I could not rely on him for any financial help,†she laments. Their relationship had to end.
Besides the basic necessities of life, we all need security and money represents it. One needs to be sure that in times of illness, they can afford treatment.
Unfortunately, some men think money is the way to any woman’s heart.
Steve figured that his girlfriend was madly in love with him because he gave her everything she wanted.
She was the envy of all her friends. In her second year at university, she was already driving an expensive car. But Steve got the shock of his life when she cheated on him with a broke man.
Recently, I also got the shock of my life when a 12-year-old boy asked a girl, his age, for a list of things he could buy for her. Money is certainly not everything and it does not buy happiness, but neither does the lack of it.
If you banked on love and married a guy with no money, what would you do when the roof leaked and there was no money to fix it?
What if a child fell sick and you did not have money to take them to hospital?
If the money issue is a rare occurrence, that is ok, but if it is the order of the day, you would be screaming ‘why me?’ and contemplating on getting a job.
But remember it requires the input of both parties for the job to work out.
Two years into her marriage, Eve’s husband was still unemployed. Frustrated, she asked how his job search was going.
“He just slapped me,†she says. He said she was rubbing it in his face that she had more money, accusing her of having extra-marital relationships. She says this was because he was insecure and did not feel man enough.
Besides trust, love and personal ingredients, there is need for dynamism to keep a good relationship on the track.
Money will be required to remind yourselves that you do not simply exist, but are living.
“Money is important, but it should not be a central factor,†Nsubuga adds. He believes there should be passion, intimacy and commitment for a relationship to even have a chance.
There are boys who feel they need to first amass wealth to be with someone. But a girl can spot a hardworking man miles away.
Wouldn’t you rather be with someone who knows how to make the money than one who simply has it? What happens when it is depleted?
In many relationships, money has been known to grow wings and fly off at the most inopportune of times.
To keep a relationship running, you need many ingredients including money. It is not key, but crucial.
Even the greatest of loves will turn cold once there is no food on the table for days on end. I am not talking millions or big Benzes (although they are tempting) I am talking about the ability to at least buy food or pay taxi fares without flinching.
Many people in relationships have been in awkward positions because of the lack or availability of money.
In the first weeks of dating Emma, Tina wanted to show him that she was independent, and that she was not after money. So she used to call him, as opposed to beeping. She also paid for their meals.
But down the road, he started beeping her and asking her for transport money. Worse still, when he got money, she would be the last to see it. She vowed never to date a man without money.
Henry Nsubuga, a psychologist, says there should be openness in a relationship, even when it involves money. “Both parties should be able to put their earnings on the table and plan,†he says.
Janet did not know what to expect from Jamie. They had a good relationship and were happy, but his wallet would disappear at the strangest of times — time to pay the bills and fuel the car.
At such times, she was always frantically searching through her bag for money. “I could not rely on him for any financial help,†she laments. Their relationship had to end.
Besides the basic necessities of life, we all need security and money represents it. One needs to be sure that in times of illness, they can afford treatment.
Unfortunately, some men think money is the way to any woman’s heart.
Steve figured that his girlfriend was madly in love with him because he gave her everything she wanted.
She was the envy of all her friends. In her second year at university, she was already driving an expensive car. But Steve got the shock of his life when she cheated on him with a broke man.
Recently, I also got the shock of my life when a 12-year-old boy asked a girl, his age, for a list of things he could buy for her. Money is certainly not everything and it does not buy happiness, but neither does the lack of it.
If you banked on love and married a guy with no money, what would you do when the roof leaked and there was no money to fix it?
What if a child fell sick and you did not have money to take them to hospital?
If the money issue is a rare occurrence, that is ok, but if it is the order of the day, you would be screaming ‘why me?’ and contemplating on getting a job.
But remember it requires the input of both parties for the job to work out.
Two years into her marriage, Eve’s husband was still unemployed. Frustrated, she asked how his job search was going.
“He just slapped me,†she says. He said she was rubbing it in his face that she had more money, accusing her of having extra-marital relationships. She says this was because he was insecure and did not feel man enough.
Besides trust, love and personal ingredients, there is need for dynamism to keep a good relationship on the track.
Money will be required to remind yourselves that you do not simply exist, but are living.
“Money is important, but it should not be a central factor,†Nsubuga adds. He believes there should be passion, intimacy and commitment for a relationship to even have a chance.
There are boys who feel they need to first amass wealth to be with someone. But a girl can spot a hardworking man miles away.
Wouldn’t you rather be with someone who knows how to make the money than one who simply has it? What happens when it is depleted?
In many relationships, money has been known to grow wings and fly off at the most inopportune of times.
To keep a relationship running, you need many ingredients including money. It is not key, but crucial.