Know your wife’s body
Oct 27, 2008
This question goes to men: If you met your wife’s breast detached from her body, would u recognise it? Say you are in a room with several women blindfolded, your assignment is to identify your wife by her boobs... — wake up! Stop imagining it, you may get problems. But would you identify your wo
Hilary Bainemigisha
This question goes to men: If you met your wife’s breast detached from her body, would u recognise it? Say you are in a room with several women blindfolded, your assignment is to identify your wife by her boobs... — wake up! Stop imagining it, you may get problems. But would you identify your woman by just her boobs?
I am very serious by the way – you should look at my face, I know few men would pass the exam. Men are not wired to pay attention to details like women are. That is why a mother will tell a child’s sickness the moment the child changes its behaviour while for a man, the kid must first fail to get up from the bed.
I am not laying blame; I know it is a natural consequence of our complimentary roles in a family. If we were all capable of everything, we wouldn’t need marriage and its inconveniencing interruptions.
Back to boobs. This month is Breast Cancer month. We just had a charity walk on breast cancer awareness on Saturday. Breasts are something most men love on a woman’s body from the time we are born, to the time we die. I have myself as an example, I love it best when full, small-but-mature, rounded and piercing. But I don’t mind any other shape. Whichever boob you bring, there will be a man willing to pay sh11b for it without going through proper channels.
It is this lovely female body part that breast cancer attacks and it has to be removed! But the good news is that when identified early, death can be prevented. We were told last week that women should closely scrutinise their breasts every 10th day after the start of their menstrual cycle for any change like size, any lumps, any localised depression, lightened spot, if one gets bigger, etc. That means you need to know your normal breast in order to spot any changes. Then, go and investigate it.
And this is where the man comes in. And this is an order from above, by the way. Every man should know his woman’s breast so well that they can note any changes named above. This means that playing with boobs has to become a necessary and permanent item on the agenda of sex – sorry those who may find it delaying, but we must really start being more useful than presenting ourselves for swimming. A good swimmer doesn’t dive into water before surveying the pool area to check if water is clean, safe and ready for him. Don’t ask questions; a localised survey of the breast must become part of the process.
Can you imagine there are quite a number of males who have never seen their women naked? Many sengas in Buganda even warn young girls never to allow their husbands to see – that they may get disgusted! Shame! That was the old age wisdom of keeping curiosity, and therefore fire, into the marital bed. But now we have many alternative sources of curiosity. A man who actually pays for Temangalo without ascertaining whether it is a wetland, how many squatters there are or whether it is value for money must present himself before Malinga’s Parliamentary committee.
I salute men who have a vivid mental folder of their wives’ headquarters but some of you always make that the only district to visit. That is not only bad, it is also sectarian. There are more districts in your country, visiting only one will make people accuse you of favouritism. Scan especially the breast. And record any feedback on changes for discussion after ‘Parliament’ has sat. Don’t interrupt sessions with such statements like; “Darling, your left breast is bigger, I think you have breast cancer!†That is wrong forum, stupid!
Knowing your wife’s body has many other advantages. God forbid, but they can call you to identify victims of an accident like the one of last Friday at Bulyantete in Kampala-Jinja highway, your wife’s leg is lying among the wreckage and you cannot know it is hers! Some men will first have to look for the head or clothes to know she is dead? Do you know many women can easily tell it is you by just looking at your nails or hair of hand?
Please, know every part of your wife’s body. You must do this during romance, there is no better alternative. You will find the lesson too interesting to let go.
This question goes to men: If you met your wife’s breast detached from her body, would u recognise it? Say you are in a room with several women blindfolded, your assignment is to identify your wife by her boobs... — wake up! Stop imagining it, you may get problems. But would you identify your woman by just her boobs?
I am very serious by the way – you should look at my face, I know few men would pass the exam. Men are not wired to pay attention to details like women are. That is why a mother will tell a child’s sickness the moment the child changes its behaviour while for a man, the kid must first fail to get up from the bed.
I am not laying blame; I know it is a natural consequence of our complimentary roles in a family. If we were all capable of everything, we wouldn’t need marriage and its inconveniencing interruptions.
Back to boobs. This month is Breast Cancer month. We just had a charity walk on breast cancer awareness on Saturday. Breasts are something most men love on a woman’s body from the time we are born, to the time we die. I have myself as an example, I love it best when full, small-but-mature, rounded and piercing. But I don’t mind any other shape. Whichever boob you bring, there will be a man willing to pay sh11b for it without going through proper channels.
It is this lovely female body part that breast cancer attacks and it has to be removed! But the good news is that when identified early, death can be prevented. We were told last week that women should closely scrutinise their breasts every 10th day after the start of their menstrual cycle for any change like size, any lumps, any localised depression, lightened spot, if one gets bigger, etc. That means you need to know your normal breast in order to spot any changes. Then, go and investigate it.
And this is where the man comes in. And this is an order from above, by the way. Every man should know his woman’s breast so well that they can note any changes named above. This means that playing with boobs has to become a necessary and permanent item on the agenda of sex – sorry those who may find it delaying, but we must really start being more useful than presenting ourselves for swimming. A good swimmer doesn’t dive into water before surveying the pool area to check if water is clean, safe and ready for him. Don’t ask questions; a localised survey of the breast must become part of the process.
Can you imagine there are quite a number of males who have never seen their women naked? Many sengas in Buganda even warn young girls never to allow their husbands to see – that they may get disgusted! Shame! That was the old age wisdom of keeping curiosity, and therefore fire, into the marital bed. But now we have many alternative sources of curiosity. A man who actually pays for Temangalo without ascertaining whether it is a wetland, how many squatters there are or whether it is value for money must present himself before Malinga’s Parliamentary committee.
I salute men who have a vivid mental folder of their wives’ headquarters but some of you always make that the only district to visit. That is not only bad, it is also sectarian. There are more districts in your country, visiting only one will make people accuse you of favouritism. Scan especially the breast. And record any feedback on changes for discussion after ‘Parliament’ has sat. Don’t interrupt sessions with such statements like; “Darling, your left breast is bigger, I think you have breast cancer!†That is wrong forum, stupid!
Knowing your wife’s body has many other advantages. God forbid, but they can call you to identify victims of an accident like the one of last Friday at Bulyantete in Kampala-Jinja highway, your wife’s leg is lying among the wreckage and you cannot know it is hers! Some men will first have to look for the head or clothes to know she is dead? Do you know many women can easily tell it is you by just looking at your nails or hair of hand?
Please, know every part of your wife’s body. You must do this during romance, there is no better alternative. You will find the lesson too interesting to let go.