Obote was tough, but with me, he was shy

Nov 28, 2008

Miria Kalule Obote, 72, is Uganda People’s Congress (UPC’s) president. The former first lady was married to Uganda’s first Prime Minister and a former two-time president, the late Dr Apollo Milton Obote, for 41 years. Rehema Aanyu had a chat with her.

Miria Kalule Obote, 72, is Uganda People’s Congress (UPC’s) president. The former first lady was married to Uganda’s first Prime Minister and a former two-time president, the late Dr Apollo Milton Obote, for 41 years. Rehema Aanyu had a chat with her.

How did you meet the late Obote?
I met Milton through his good friends during a state function. He was then the Prime Minister of Uganda. I was working with the Uganda Electricity Board. Being one of the few working and good looking girls, we were asked by the Permanent Secretary to be ushers at state garden parties organised before October 9, 1962. Because I was slim, I was also asked to model garments by Nadia Gowns. So I met him during one of these functions.

What is it that struck you about him?
He was smart, eloquent and very confident. He also had good friends and knew how to talk very well. When it came to me, he was a bit shy. His friends helped him a lot to win my heart. It took me almost a year to accept his advances.

Why that long?
First, he was a politician and a very important man in the country. I was a simple girl with a very humble background. So I had to be very careful lest I be heart broken. Second, he was Luo and that scared me too.

Then you agreed?
It wasn’t easy. Many people said very nasty things. My Baganda friends were apprehensive, others said I had betrayed them but my parents and some of my friends supported me. I was in love and the rest, to me, ceased to matter.

Did you ever regret that decision?
(Very thoughtful) After the 1966 Buganda crisis, a number of people blamed me for what had happened. Obote had abolished kingdoms, stormed the Bulange and King Mutesa went into exile. Fellow Baganda branded me a traitor. Of course I was saddened. Families I was close to and friends lost loved ones. People failed to understand that, as a wife, there was nothing I could do. I wasn’t co-governing the country with Milton. I was simply his wife. I never attended security meetings. I was never briefed or consulted on anything. I got to learn about things just as they happened.

But as a wife, you could have tried to dissuade him or show disappointment
I did not know about it until it happened. I was a young mother concentrating on bringing up my children. Milton kept the running of the country secret from me.

Do people still look at you as a
traitor?
Some still do. Some tell it to me in my face; others simply ignore me while others refuse to acknowledge my presence. Friends we had before Milton’s overthrow do not want to associate with us anymore. I feel sad and lonely at times but life has to go on.

How do you sum up your 41 years of marriage?
I went through a number of situations. Not having a permanent home, living in exile, going undercover, all these were very tormenting to the kids. They missed out on the stability in a home, we lost personal things. Up to now I can’t trace their pictures as kids and they ask me for them. Milton was a politician all the time. The kids missed their dad but knew he belonged to the country. It was only during exile that they had him to themselves.

Tell us about Obote the husband.
He was a very respectful guy who never raised his voice anyhow. He respected our differences and worked to see the family as one.

Do you ever see Obote as a murderer like people have branded him?
No. The Obote I knew wasn’t. People just demonised him. The man I knew never signed any death warrant for anybody, not even for Sebaduka, the man

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who tried to assassinate him at Lugogo during the extra ordinary delegates’ conference in 1969. He was a respectable and respectful man who worked with all kinds of people for the betterment of his country and I respected him for this. I still respect him greatly because it takes a real man to do what he did.

I read somewhere that your marriage was a political strategy …
He married me because he loved me. I cannot - and will never - doubt that. We loved each other and this is what kept us together even after his overthrow. People just want to politicise everything.

How was your relationship with your mother-in-law?
We both had a problem with language so we did not get to know each other so well. I think she was not comfortable with me as a daughter-in-law because she judged me on what other people said about me which was rather unfortunate.

Did you like Obote’s hairstyle?
I did not mind it. There was this one time we tried to cut it short but he refused. He said that wouldn’t be him. He wanted long hair and he kept it. It was his trademark. He had beautiful thick hair. I just wished it was for a girl.

How did you call each other?
He used to call me mama or min awobe (acholi for mother of the children) which I found respectful. I called him daddy or mzee.

What did your husband enjoy doing in his free time?
He loved playing scrabble. Most of the time we played together but he was so good at it. I do not recall anyone ever beating him at it.

What language did you use in your home?
He hardly knew Luganda. My Luo was equally poor. We thus communicated in English even to our kids. This disturbed me as a mother and I started leaning Luo so I could communicate to them in Luo but this is the time the instabilities started. Those who attended Namasagali College were privileged to learn at least a local language. While in exile they learnt Swahili.

What did you learn from Obote as a person?
He was such a calm person. In times of crisis when everyone was restless, he was always calm. He naturally had low blood pressure and it never affected his health. I think this explained his calmness all the time.

Would you re-live your life if there was such an opportunity?
There have been a number of dark clouds in my life but then, with them came silver linings. I have had the opportunity to travel around the world, meet many different people and experience situations that many people would not. I have learnt tolerance and to accept people as they are. I would change a few things though.

Do you think Obote would be proud of Uganda as it is now?
A lot has changed but I think he would be saddened that the things he worked for have been ruined for instance the hospitals, schools, roads etc.

Do you see him in your four sons?
There is one who is a very good speaker. Akena is a bit quiet but he can be as eloquent as the father.

How do you keep his memory alive at home?
Two of our grandsons were named after him. We also talk about him quite a lot.

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