Ten reasons for circumcising
Happy New Year! 2009 will be a year of the American debt crunch. People will lose money. But for you reading this, may the only major loss you get be your foreskin which, if Government is to be trusted, may come easier than harder.
Hilary Bainemigisha
Happy New Year! 2009 will be a year of the American debt crunch. People will lose money. But for you reading this, may the only major loss you get be your foreskin which, if Government is to be trusted, may come easier than harder.
Government sat and thought, (and I quote): “If Kony cannot come to the mountain, then the mountain will have to be delivered to Garamba bombastically.†They have waited for you to bring your instruments of power for sharpening for too long. Now they are delivering circumcision to your doorstep.
I sat with my cousin during Christmas and tried to convince him to circumcise. After an hour of what looked like a brilliant presentation, he asked: How can I avoid it?No you shouldn’t especially if you are reading this.
I am giving you 10 reasons why you must cut it.
Because you are not circumcised.
Experts advise that if you are already circumcised, you don’t need to do it again. A foreskin is not like Kony’s possessions. He can afford to lose a suit, a guitar, wig, bed – one by one, but the foreskin is different. God could only manage to create one for each male and if you haven’t lost it, you have it.
Measurable protection against HIV infection
Jokes aside, pay attention. Research has allocated a 50% protection from HIV to circumcised men. This means if 100 men have sex with infected women and they are not circumcised, all of them are most likely to be scorched by the virus attack. But if the 100 were circumcised, only 50 may get it and 50 may escape like Kony from Allied attack.
It is an added protection to other protective measures like correct and consistent use of condoms.
Protection from STDs
Uncircumcised men are prone to other sexually transmitted diseases like syphilis and gnorrhoea. Studies have associated circumcision with lower rates of syphilis, chancroid and genital herpes and genital warts. It is only those who have never interacted with STDs who will not applaud at this.
Protecting your partner
Oh yes, who doesn’t know how selfish most men are? But circumcision will give you the chance of protecting your partner from cervical cancer without having to refer to your wallet.
Actually the human papillomavirus (HPV) lives in the foreskin and no amount of peace talks can get it out.
So, striking Garamba would not be such a bad idea.
Protection against Cancers
This HPV is also a known risk factor for penile cancer. Circumcised men are much less likely to harbour the virus, which causes cancer of the penis.
Protection against injury
Throughout its lifetime, a penis is likely to encounter such conditions as tears, rashes and injury while on duty and all these are because the protective foreskin withdraws during sex exposing the softer tissue to the unfriendly environs of the female counterpart.
But after circumcision, the penis head hardens like the outer skin and becomes an armour against infection that is if you don’t meet a very drunk but dry circumcised Sebei woman on a day when your brains are not working.
Hygiene, especially in infectious conditions
Circumcision could have started as an effective method of maintaining penile hygiene. Poor hygiene is not only dangerous to you (can cause infection) but also to your partner. The cut can save you several rounds of antibiotics.
And for females, the feeling that you are clean, relaxes their super sensitive minds enabling them to enjoy sex.
Reduced sensitivity
One of the leading causes of sexual tension and performance anxiety is premature ejaculation and inability to sustain sex long enough for your partner to run across the finishing line.
All these result from high sensitivity of the penis head. Circumcision helps reduce this sensitivity, enabling you run the marathon category of the Kipsiros. Living long enough to see all your partners coming home gives you confidence that will bring down spousal violence and domestic tension.
It will be safe
Government is assuring everybody that the type of circumcision sought will be medical male circumcision. This is done by trained personnel, whose hands are blessed with academic credentials. Imagine handing over your most important tool to people looking for the day’s meal!
It will be free of charge for everyone
Normally, I hate free things except oxygen. But this, you should not resist. For all the taxes you pay, how many of you will ever get the NSSF opportunity Mbabazi got? If you ever want to eat-ko on your tax money, bring your manhood for improvement.
I wish you all a great circumcision year.
hbainemigisha@newvision.co.ug
Happy New Year! 2009 will be a year of the American debt crunch. People will lose money. But for you reading this, may the only major loss you get be your foreskin which, if Government is to be trusted, may come easier than harder.
Government sat and thought, (and I quote): “If Kony cannot come to the mountain, then the mountain will have to be delivered to Garamba bombastically.†They have waited for you to bring your instruments of power for sharpening for too long. Now they are delivering circumcision to your doorstep.
I sat with my cousin during Christmas and tried to convince him to circumcise. After an hour of what looked like a brilliant presentation, he asked: How can I avoid it?No you shouldn’t especially if you are reading this.
I am giving you 10 reasons why you must cut it.
Because you are not circumcised.
Experts advise that if you are already circumcised, you don’t need to do it again. A foreskin is not like Kony’s possessions. He can afford to lose a suit, a guitar, wig, bed – one by one, but the foreskin is different. God could only manage to create one for each male and if you haven’t lost it, you have it.
Measurable protection against HIV infection
Jokes aside, pay attention. Research has allocated a 50% protection from HIV to circumcised men. This means if 100 men have sex with infected women and they are not circumcised, all of them are most likely to be scorched by the virus attack. But if the 100 were circumcised, only 50 may get it and 50 may escape like Kony from Allied attack.
It is an added protection to other protective measures like correct and consistent use of condoms.
Protection from STDs
Uncircumcised men are prone to other sexually transmitted diseases like syphilis and gnorrhoea. Studies have associated circumcision with lower rates of syphilis, chancroid and genital herpes and genital warts. It is only those who have never interacted with STDs who will not applaud at this.
Protecting your partner
Oh yes, who doesn’t know how selfish most men are? But circumcision will give you the chance of protecting your partner from cervical cancer without having to refer to your wallet.
Actually the human papillomavirus (HPV) lives in the foreskin and no amount of peace talks can get it out.
So, striking Garamba would not be such a bad idea.
Protection against Cancers
This HPV is also a known risk factor for penile cancer. Circumcised men are much less likely to harbour the virus, which causes cancer of the penis.
Protection against injury
Throughout its lifetime, a penis is likely to encounter such conditions as tears, rashes and injury while on duty and all these are because the protective foreskin withdraws during sex exposing the softer tissue to the unfriendly environs of the female counterpart.
But after circumcision, the penis head hardens like the outer skin and becomes an armour against infection that is if you don’t meet a very drunk but dry circumcised Sebei woman on a day when your brains are not working.
Hygiene, especially in infectious conditions
Circumcision could have started as an effective method of maintaining penile hygiene. Poor hygiene is not only dangerous to you (can cause infection) but also to your partner. The cut can save you several rounds of antibiotics.
And for females, the feeling that you are clean, relaxes their super sensitive minds enabling them to enjoy sex.
Reduced sensitivity
One of the leading causes of sexual tension and performance anxiety is premature ejaculation and inability to sustain sex long enough for your partner to run across the finishing line.
All these result from high sensitivity of the penis head. Circumcision helps reduce this sensitivity, enabling you run the marathon category of the Kipsiros. Living long enough to see all your partners coming home gives you confidence that will bring down spousal violence and domestic tension.
It will be safe
Government is assuring everybody that the type of circumcision sought will be medical male circumcision. This is done by trained personnel, whose hands are blessed with academic credentials. Imagine handing over your most important tool to people looking for the day’s meal!
It will be free of charge for everyone
Normally, I hate free things except oxygen. But this, you should not resist. For all the taxes you pay, how many of you will ever get the NSSF opportunity Mbabazi got? If you ever want to eat-ko on your tax money, bring your manhood for improvement.
I wish you all a great circumcision year.
hbainemigisha@newvision.co.ug