Ladies bore me
Jan 21, 2007
Dear aunt,<br>I just can’t get myself involved in an affair for more than six months. I easily get bored with the lady and call it quits. I know it is natural for boredom to set in sometimes, but for my case, it seems too frequent. In spite of this, I attract a bit of attention from women on a re
Dear aunt,
I just can’t get myself involved in an affair for more than six months. I easily get bored with the lady and call it quits. I know it is natural for boredom to set in sometimes, but for my case, it seems too frequent. In spite of this, I attract a bit of attention from women on a regular basis. Could this be a contributing factor?
Gordon
Dear Gordon,
Keeping a relationship exciting is a skill that is learnt. It is clear from your letter that you often initiate the breakups, perhaps against the lady’s will. Do you see a girlfriend as an opportunity to have sex at leisure or a comrade to support you emotionally? Many men develop a great passion for a love relationship while still ‘enjoying the chase’. However, after conquering and perhaps having sex, they lose passion and boredom sets in. Do you rush in for sex too soon before getting to understand the lady? Inability to settle down in a relationship might also have roots in your family upbringing. Were you brought up by your mother? If so, what is your relationship with her like? A poor relationship with a mother or a female caretaker during your early childhood might be a contributing factor. This problem might make it difficult for you to settle in a marriage. You need a change of style and attitude. Face-to-face counselling with a professional counsellor would be of help.
I am in a dilemma
Dear aunt,
I have been dating a guy for over two years and he had promised to marry me. Unfortunately, he was implicated in a case and was jailed. Before he went to jail, he asked me to promise to be there for him no matter how long it takes. I love him so much that I find it difficult to erase him from my mind. However, I do not think I will wait for him because I have met this handsome man who is asking for my hand in marriage. I am in a dilemma. Please help me.
Yvonne
Dear Yvonne,
The emotional pain you are going through is called separation anxiety often experienced when one is separated from a loved one. Your boyfriend’s absence seems to have caused a vacuum in your life that you are failing to cope with. Marriage is desirable only if you meet the right person. It requires a mature relationship. Not every man who craves to have your hand in marriage is an appropriate marriage partner. You need to focus on building a strong relationship rather than looking for any man willing to marry you. Sustaining a long distance relationship with your boyfriend in jail is difficult because there isn’t any strong foundation. Since there is nothing binding you and you cannot guarantee the survival of your relationship afterwards. Love involves a degree of risk taking and you should always give yourself room for disappointment.
As you fall in love, judge men not by appearance, but by how well the relationship works.
I just can’t get myself involved in an affair for more than six months. I easily get bored with the lady and call it quits. I know it is natural for boredom to set in sometimes, but for my case, it seems too frequent. In spite of this, I attract a bit of attention from women on a regular basis. Could this be a contributing factor?
Gordon
Dear Gordon,
Keeping a relationship exciting is a skill that is learnt. It is clear from your letter that you often initiate the breakups, perhaps against the lady’s will. Do you see a girlfriend as an opportunity to have sex at leisure or a comrade to support you emotionally? Many men develop a great passion for a love relationship while still ‘enjoying the chase’. However, after conquering and perhaps having sex, they lose passion and boredom sets in. Do you rush in for sex too soon before getting to understand the lady? Inability to settle down in a relationship might also have roots in your family upbringing. Were you brought up by your mother? If so, what is your relationship with her like? A poor relationship with a mother or a female caretaker during your early childhood might be a contributing factor. This problem might make it difficult for you to settle in a marriage. You need a change of style and attitude. Face-to-face counselling with a professional counsellor would be of help.
I am in a dilemma
Dear aunt,
I have been dating a guy for over two years and he had promised to marry me. Unfortunately, he was implicated in a case and was jailed. Before he went to jail, he asked me to promise to be there for him no matter how long it takes. I love him so much that I find it difficult to erase him from my mind. However, I do not think I will wait for him because I have met this handsome man who is asking for my hand in marriage. I am in a dilemma. Please help me.
Yvonne
Dear Yvonne,
The emotional pain you are going through is called separation anxiety often experienced when one is separated from a loved one. Your boyfriend’s absence seems to have caused a vacuum in your life that you are failing to cope with. Marriage is desirable only if you meet the right person. It requires a mature relationship. Not every man who craves to have your hand in marriage is an appropriate marriage partner. You need to focus on building a strong relationship rather than looking for any man willing to marry you. Sustaining a long distance relationship with your boyfriend in jail is difficult because there isn’t any strong foundation. Since there is nothing binding you and you cannot guarantee the survival of your relationship afterwards. Love involves a degree of risk taking and you should always give yourself room for disappointment.
As you fall in love, judge men not by appearance, but by how well the relationship works.