How to enjoy healthy sex
Jan 23, 2007
SEXUAL fulfilment and arousal are some of the most powerful emotions a person can experience. Sex is the glue that holds marriages and relationships together. Sexual problems often lead to unfaithfulness, dysfunctional relationships and marriage breakups.
GRACE CANADA
SEXUAL fulfilment and arousal are some of the most powerful emotions a person can experience. Sex is the glue that holds marriages and relationships together. Sexual problems often lead to unfaithfulness, dysfunctional relationships and marriage breakups.
But, because of a sense of shame associated with sex and sexual organs, most of those who experience sexual dysfunction suffer in silence.
The good news is that: There are solutions to sexual problems. You first have to deal with negative beliefs and perceptions associated with sex and give genital organs and their functions the respect they deserve.
Often for example, changes in your body due to an illness, an accident, medication or surgery can negatively affect your physical responses to sex. This in turn could easily affect your self-image and ultimately limit your interest in sex. This need not be. There are remedies you can apply to your particular situation.
Let us look at the physical changes that can affect your sexual ability and what can be done about it:
- Heart attack
After a heart attack, fear and anxiety of causing another one can affect your sexual behaviour. For a man, the anxiety may interfere with the ability to attain and sustain an erection. A woman may ‘freeze’ and avoid sexual intimacy.
However, this should not be. Because if, before the heart attack, you were sexually functioning well, you will most likely do so again. Even though pulse and breathing rates and blood pressure increase during sexual intercourse, they return to normal within minutes after intercourse.
According to research, sudden death during sex is rare. But if you have a type of heart disease with symptoms of angina (discomfort, tightening or pressure occurring in the chest due to lack of blood flow to the heart muscle), you may experience pain or discomfort that may typically develop with physical exertion or high emotional stress.
You need to talk to your doctor.
- Arthritis (painful inflammation of joints).
Although arthritis does not affect the sex organs, the pain and stiffness it causes can make sex difficult to enjoy. In some cases, the pain may interfere with arousal.
If you have arthritis, discuss your desires and movement capabilities openly with your partner. Also discuss with your doctor the exercises you need for improvement of muscle and joint movement. It might be necessary that you perform such exercises for relaxation of joints and muscles before sex. A warm bath may also be helpful.
- Prostrate surgery
Such surgery may cause impotence. However, treatments for impotence are available. Discuss your fears and concerns with your doctor and partner.
- Hysterectomy (removal of the uterus). Hysterectomy by itself does not interfere with a woman’s physical ability to have sexual intercourse or experience orgasm.
But the removal of the ovaries brings about a decline in the hormone oestrogen. This may cause the lining of the vagina to become thinner and drier. As such, previously pleasurable sexual intercourse can become painful, causing a woman to avoid sexual intimacy.
If you have a hysterectomy, your doctor may recommend a vaginal cream that contains oestrogen or hormonal therapy. Oestrogen helps to relieve dryness and thinning brought about by a decline of estrogen.
- Medication
Some commonly used medications, for example, drugs that control high blood pressure can reduce desire, impair erection in a man and lubrication in a woman. Other medications that may affect your sexual dysfunction include: some anti-histamine, anti-depressants and medication that blocks secretion of stomach acid.
If you experience sexual dysfunction and are on any medication, immediately discuss your medication and the problem with a doctor.
Alcohol consumption and cigarette smoking may also negatively affect your sexual function.
Here are some simple general tips that may be quite helpful to you:
- Sexual dysfunction can happen to anyone.
- Talk about sex with your partner. Discuss your fantasies, likes and dislikes. If you feel weak, tired, or unwell, let your partner know. You may want your partner to take a more active role. Let him or her know.
- If some part of your body is sore, guide your mate’s caresses to create pleasure and avoid pain.
- If you are under emotional pressure or are experiencing discomfort, pain or anxiety, do not try to initiate sexual activity.
Instead discuss your problem with your partner. Otherwise, initiating sexual activity when you do not feel quite capable may lead to future anxiety of performance.
l If you are on pain medication for arthritis, time the dose so that its effect will not occur during sexual activity.
l When you are stressed or tired from the day’s activities, plan to have sex when you are rested and relaxed. Early morning may work out for you.
Remember that a loving relationship is extremely important especially during life’s challenging times. Work on developing a sincere loving relationship with your partner.
Find pleasure in touch. Tender and loving touching can be an alternative to sexual intercourse. Women and men can reach orgasm with the right touch.
SEXUAL fulfilment and arousal are some of the most powerful emotions a person can experience. Sex is the glue that holds marriages and relationships together. Sexual problems often lead to unfaithfulness, dysfunctional relationships and marriage breakups.
But, because of a sense of shame associated with sex and sexual organs, most of those who experience sexual dysfunction suffer in silence.
The good news is that: There are solutions to sexual problems. You first have to deal with negative beliefs and perceptions associated with sex and give genital organs and their functions the respect they deserve.
Often for example, changes in your body due to an illness, an accident, medication or surgery can negatively affect your physical responses to sex. This in turn could easily affect your self-image and ultimately limit your interest in sex. This need not be. There are remedies you can apply to your particular situation.
Let us look at the physical changes that can affect your sexual ability and what can be done about it:
- Heart attack
After a heart attack, fear and anxiety of causing another one can affect your sexual behaviour. For a man, the anxiety may interfere with the ability to attain and sustain an erection. A woman may ‘freeze’ and avoid sexual intimacy.
However, this should not be. Because if, before the heart attack, you were sexually functioning well, you will most likely do so again. Even though pulse and breathing rates and blood pressure increase during sexual intercourse, they return to normal within minutes after intercourse.
According to research, sudden death during sex is rare. But if you have a type of heart disease with symptoms of angina (discomfort, tightening or pressure occurring in the chest due to lack of blood flow to the heart muscle), you may experience pain or discomfort that may typically develop with physical exertion or high emotional stress.
You need to talk to your doctor.
- Arthritis (painful inflammation of joints).
Although arthritis does not affect the sex organs, the pain and stiffness it causes can make sex difficult to enjoy. In some cases, the pain may interfere with arousal.
If you have arthritis, discuss your desires and movement capabilities openly with your partner. Also discuss with your doctor the exercises you need for improvement of muscle and joint movement. It might be necessary that you perform such exercises for relaxation of joints and muscles before sex. A warm bath may also be helpful.
- Prostrate surgery
Such surgery may cause impotence. However, treatments for impotence are available. Discuss your fears and concerns with your doctor and partner.
- Hysterectomy (removal of the uterus). Hysterectomy by itself does not interfere with a woman’s physical ability to have sexual intercourse or experience orgasm.
But the removal of the ovaries brings about a decline in the hormone oestrogen. This may cause the lining of the vagina to become thinner and drier. As such, previously pleasurable sexual intercourse can become painful, causing a woman to avoid sexual intimacy.
If you have a hysterectomy, your doctor may recommend a vaginal cream that contains oestrogen or hormonal therapy. Oestrogen helps to relieve dryness and thinning brought about by a decline of estrogen.
- Medication
Some commonly used medications, for example, drugs that control high blood pressure can reduce desire, impair erection in a man and lubrication in a woman. Other medications that may affect your sexual dysfunction include: some anti-histamine, anti-depressants and medication that blocks secretion of stomach acid.
If you experience sexual dysfunction and are on any medication, immediately discuss your medication and the problem with a doctor.
Alcohol consumption and cigarette smoking may also negatively affect your sexual function.
Here are some simple general tips that may be quite helpful to you:
- Sexual dysfunction can happen to anyone.
- Talk about sex with your partner. Discuss your fantasies, likes and dislikes. If you feel weak, tired, or unwell, let your partner know. You may want your partner to take a more active role. Let him or her know.
- If some part of your body is sore, guide your mate’s caresses to create pleasure and avoid pain.
- If you are under emotional pressure or are experiencing discomfort, pain or anxiety, do not try to initiate sexual activity.
Instead discuss your problem with your partner. Otherwise, initiating sexual activity when you do not feel quite capable may lead to future anxiety of performance.
l If you are on pain medication for arthritis, time the dose so that its effect will not occur during sexual activity.
l When you are stressed or tired from the day’s activities, plan to have sex when you are rested and relaxed. Early morning may work out for you.
Remember that a loving relationship is extremely important especially during life’s challenging times. Work on developing a sincere loving relationship with your partner.
Find pleasure in touch. Tender and loving touching can be an alternative to sexual intercourse. Women and men can reach orgasm with the right touch.