Don't force him into marriage
MEN and marriage! I always wonder what it takes to get the two together. If you are trying to get your boyfriend to commit, I have good and bad news for you. The good news is that it is possible for a man to marry you out of his own interest. The bad news is you may never be able to force him to spe
By Joan Amooti
MEN and marriage! I always wonder what it takes to get the two together. If you are trying to get your boyfriend to commit, I have good and bad news for you. The good news is that it is possible for a man to marry you out of his own interest. The bad news is you may never be able to force him to speed up the process.
In my experience, some college educated men do not consider marriage as a serious possibility until they make 26.
In fact, most enter a phase of high commitment between the ages of 28 and 33. Men who have gone on to graduate, hit their commitment peak phase between the age of 30 and 36. However, once a single man hits 37, the chances that he will marry start fading. And after his 43rd birthday, he will probably remain a bachelor for life, but of course, with the girl he wishes to marry at the back of his mind.
This explains why of late you find old, rich men marrying young girls. This isn’t because all along he had never found the woman of his life; no, it is because he was just not ready to take up the responsibilities. This mainly applies to men commonly called “mummy’s boys†who still stay under their parents’ roof.
So a woman may never succeed in rushing such a man into marriage; he will drop you. And for your information, those are the guys who will tell you straight that they are not in a hurry to marry, and they will send you off, however much they loved you.
I have a 30-year-old friend called Jack, an accountant. He comes from a rich family and is the only boy. Jack has broken so many girls’ hearts just because every girl he gets asks him to marry her. He turns them down because it is not the right time for him to think about marriage.
At first he used to ask the girls to marry him, then he realised he had proposed to about five girls who had all accepted, yet he felt he was not ready to settle down.
Jack resorted to being a serious player.
He says when he clocks 35 before marrying, he will give up the idea. He is currently seeing two girls and each of them think he is going to marry her. This is a man who will drop a girl as soon as she asks for marriage or tells him to move out of his parent’s home and start living alone.
If you are not sure about your guy’s intentions, take note of the way he acts and, more importantly, the way he talks about the future. If he is making promises but has not fulfilled them, or if he objects to any talk about it, then his prospects of marrying you are probably minimal.
But do not just assume he is not ready.
Be direct with him and tell him how you feel. Then you will know exactly where you stand. If he is not ready, do not push him. If possible, look elsewhere.
If you force him into marriage and succeed, he may not love you the way you deserve to be loved.
MEN and marriage! I always wonder what it takes to get the two together. If you are trying to get your boyfriend to commit, I have good and bad news for you. The good news is that it is possible for a man to marry you out of his own interest. The bad news is you may never be able to force him to speed up the process.
In my experience, some college educated men do not consider marriage as a serious possibility until they make 26.
In fact, most enter a phase of high commitment between the ages of 28 and 33. Men who have gone on to graduate, hit their commitment peak phase between the age of 30 and 36. However, once a single man hits 37, the chances that he will marry start fading. And after his 43rd birthday, he will probably remain a bachelor for life, but of course, with the girl he wishes to marry at the back of his mind.
This explains why of late you find old, rich men marrying young girls. This isn’t because all along he had never found the woman of his life; no, it is because he was just not ready to take up the responsibilities. This mainly applies to men commonly called “mummy’s boys†who still stay under their parents’ roof.
So a woman may never succeed in rushing such a man into marriage; he will drop you. And for your information, those are the guys who will tell you straight that they are not in a hurry to marry, and they will send you off, however much they loved you.
I have a 30-year-old friend called Jack, an accountant. He comes from a rich family and is the only boy. Jack has broken so many girls’ hearts just because every girl he gets asks him to marry her. He turns them down because it is not the right time for him to think about marriage.
At first he used to ask the girls to marry him, then he realised he had proposed to about five girls who had all accepted, yet he felt he was not ready to settle down.
Jack resorted to being a serious player.
He says when he clocks 35 before marrying, he will give up the idea. He is currently seeing two girls and each of them think he is going to marry her. This is a man who will drop a girl as soon as she asks for marriage or tells him to move out of his parent’s home and start living alone.
If you are not sure about your guy’s intentions, take note of the way he acts and, more importantly, the way he talks about the future. If he is making promises but has not fulfilled them, or if he objects to any talk about it, then his prospects of marrying you are probably minimal.
But do not just assume he is not ready.
Be direct with him and tell him how you feel. Then you will know exactly where you stand. If he is not ready, do not push him. If possible, look elsewhere.
If you force him into marriage and succeed, he may not love you the way you deserve to be loved.