Do not let tension ruin your Valentine’s Day
Feb 13, 2007
Anxiety and tension are the worst enemies of good sex and a romantic Valentine’s Day. They cause performance anxiety for men and women. Tension can make sex practically impossible. This is called vaginismus.
By Herbert Mugarura
Anxiety and tension are the worst enemies of good sex and a romantic Valentine’s Day. They cause performance anxiety for men and women. Tension can make sex practically impossible. This is called vaginismus.
Vaginismus is the sudden involuntary strong tightening of the muscles near the vagina entrance due to oversensitivity in the region. This makes intercourse difficult.
Primary vaginismus is common in women who have never experienced vaginal penetration, while secondary vaginismus occurs in those who have ever had vaginal penetration.
Most of the causes of vaginismus are related to sexual psychological fears (phobias) from the woman’s unconscious desire to prevent penetration. This may be due to fear of becoming pregnant, previous experience of painful intercourse or rape or worries about sexual performance failure, guilt and excessive anxiety.
This condition can be overcome easily. Be open and discuss your fears with your partner. It may imply desisting from engaging into planned sex. Planned sex increases tension in the mind of the woman.
If the situation persists, seek treatment to establish the cause of the problem. The physical effects can be rectified by progressive dilatation of the vaginal entrance with dilator or tampons. These are placed inside the vagina for about 15 minutes, twice a day. This should be repeated until the dilator equivalent to the size of a normal penis is accepted. The woman can also be taught to do Kegel’s exercise to recover her natural relaxation abilities. Here, she breathes normally while contracting her vaginal and anus muscles (like she is stopping urine) for about 10 seconds, then repeat after a brief relaxation. This should continue for about 20 times, twice a day.
However, nothing works better than establishing an intimate relationship with your partner and building the emotional satisfaction out of such a relationship. With the right emotional support and patience, a good sexual life can be recovered.
The writer is a medical doctor
Anxiety and tension are the worst enemies of good sex and a romantic Valentine’s Day. They cause performance anxiety for men and women. Tension can make sex practically impossible. This is called vaginismus.
Vaginismus is the sudden involuntary strong tightening of the muscles near the vagina entrance due to oversensitivity in the region. This makes intercourse difficult.
Primary vaginismus is common in women who have never experienced vaginal penetration, while secondary vaginismus occurs in those who have ever had vaginal penetration.
Most of the causes of vaginismus are related to sexual psychological fears (phobias) from the woman’s unconscious desire to prevent penetration. This may be due to fear of becoming pregnant, previous experience of painful intercourse or rape or worries about sexual performance failure, guilt and excessive anxiety.
This condition can be overcome easily. Be open and discuss your fears with your partner. It may imply desisting from engaging into planned sex. Planned sex increases tension in the mind of the woman.
If the situation persists, seek treatment to establish the cause of the problem. The physical effects can be rectified by progressive dilatation of the vaginal entrance with dilator or tampons. These are placed inside the vagina for about 15 minutes, twice a day. This should be repeated until the dilator equivalent to the size of a normal penis is accepted. The woman can also be taught to do Kegel’s exercise to recover her natural relaxation abilities. Here, she breathes normally while contracting her vaginal and anus muscles (like she is stopping urine) for about 10 seconds, then repeat after a brief relaxation. This should continue for about 20 times, twice a day.
However, nothing works better than establishing an intimate relationship with your partner and building the emotional satisfaction out of such a relationship. With the right emotional support and patience, a good sexual life can be recovered.
The writer is a medical doctor