YOU ASK US
Feb 23, 2007
Is she cheating on me?<br>Dear aunt,<br>I am aged 24 and I have been with my girlfriend for over three years. Recently, she deleted my number from her phone. She even stopped me from going to her place. Once in a while she would come to my place, but wouldn’t stay for long. I checked her phone a
Is she cheating on me?
Dear aunt,
I am aged 24 and I have been with my girlfriend for over three years. Recently, she deleted my number from her phone. She even stopped me from going to her place. Once in a while she would come to my place, but wouldn’t stay for long. I checked her phone and saw a romantic message that she had sent to another guy. When I asked her, she said it was the guy, who had lured her. It is now one month since this happened and she has not called me. What do I do?
Jerry
Answer
Dear Jerry,
The case you have presented reflects your suspicions that your girlfriend is cheating on you. Your suspicion must have been confirmed when she stopped you from visiting her place and you noticed another guy’s message on her phone.
This kind of experience must have left you with anger, frustration and disappointment of being betrayed by a girl you once loved. Your girlfriend seems to be acting without letting you know where the problem is and what she feels. Have you talked it over with her, especially by making her understand how frustrated you are? There seems to be something she is hiding from you and does not seem free to talk about.
Communication must have broken down in your relationship. The fact that she hasn’t called you for one month might show that she is not interested in mending the fences. You may need to take the initiative to find out what her problem is.
Try not to confront or blame her for anything. Any form of accusation might make her defensive. As you express your feelings, listen to her side of the story.
Dear aunt,
I am aged 24 and I have been with my girlfriend for over three years. Recently, she deleted my number from her phone. She even stopped me from going to her place. Once in a while she would come to my place, but wouldn’t stay for long. I checked her phone and saw a romantic message that she had sent to another guy. When I asked her, she said it was the guy, who had lured her. It is now one month since this happened and she has not called me. What do I do?
Jerry
Answer
Dear Jerry,
The case you have presented reflects your suspicions that your girlfriend is cheating on you. Your suspicion must have been confirmed when she stopped you from visiting her place and you noticed another guy’s message on her phone.
This kind of experience must have left you with anger, frustration and disappointment of being betrayed by a girl you once loved. Your girlfriend seems to be acting without letting you know where the problem is and what she feels. Have you talked it over with her, especially by making her understand how frustrated you are? There seems to be something she is hiding from you and does not seem free to talk about.
Communication must have broken down in your relationship. The fact that she hasn’t called you for one month might show that she is not interested in mending the fences. You may need to take the initiative to find out what her problem is.
Try not to confront or blame her for anything. Any form of accusation might make her defensive. As you express your feelings, listen to her side of the story.