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The public speaks out on parents and their children’s choice of a partner

By Vision Reporter

Added 1st March 2007 03:00 AM

My parents taught us to be independent. I think they will trust my choice and wish me the best so long as they know I am not marrying a drug abuser, a thief or a hooligan.

My parents taught us to be independent. I think they will trust my choice and wish me the best so long as they know I am not marrying a drug abuser, a thief or a hooligan.

Susan Kerunen,
PRO, National Theatre


My parents taught us to be independent. I think they will trust my choice and wish me the best so long as they know I am not marrying a drug abuser, a thief or a hooligan. I would listen to my parents if they had any objections other than tribe, race, religion and career.

Salim Kiosang,
UNHCR official


Getting a marriage partner should be a personal choice although involving parents is very important. Parents can help you inquire about the family background of the girl. These days unfortunately, the whole process is done by an individual. Parents should comply with their children’s choices and advise because there is nothing that cannot be corrected.

Hon Pherry Kabanda,
Woman MP, Budaka district


It is important for parents to be involved in counselling their children about these issues. These days, children meet on the streets, in schools and they don’t know the background of the people they are relating with, so it is important that parents guide them. But remember the final decision should be theirs so that they will not blame you if things go wrong. Start by encouraging your children to bring their friends home. I once refused my daughter to get married because of the boy’s tribe. When my daughter entered another relationship, her husband’s people also resisted their marriage because of her tribe. So I have learnt the hard way.

Virginia Musoke

Parents should not be involved in the actual choosing of their children’s marriage partners. Children should be left to make their own mistakes so that they learn from them. But parents can advise, especially because they know how to get information about family background. The best they can do is to tell their child to take time before making up their mind, because when you tell a child ‘no’, they might do it in order to defy you rather than because what you are saying is the truth.

Muhamad Musa,
businessman


As a Moslem, I go by the views of our leaders, Sheikh Sulaiman Kakeeto, Sheikh Abdu Hakim Ssekimpi and the Hadith of the prophet (teachings of prophet Mohammed), when it comes to anything to do with parenting.

Samuel Nandulu,
Security Guard,


It should be you and not your parents to admire the girl. The world is changing speedily and many parents do not understand what is happening among young people. My parents had refused to accept my wife, but I insisted. They are now best friends.

Margaret Kyaziike, newspaper vendor
Don’t you know that a parent is your earthly god? For Baganda, the girl should first take the boy to her senga (aunt), who speaks with him and advises her. Today, we have abandoned the cultural way of courtship and marriage. That is why we are jumping from one marriage to another.

Fred Sitenda,
Proprietor, Freddie’s Parlour Katatumba Suites

If my parents do not like my fiancée, I will explain to them why I settled for her. I am sure they will understand because they trust me. I will need my parents’ blessings but if they do not give them to us, we can still get blessings from the church.

The public speaks out on parents and their children’s choice of a partner

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