You Ask Us
Mar 30, 2007
<b>I am afraid of making the same mistake</b><br><br><b>Dear aunt,</b><br>I broke up with my lover about six months ago. I think I am ready to head back into the dating world, but I am scared of making the same mistakes I have made in the past.
I am afraid of making the same mistake
Dear aunt,
I broke up with my lover about six months ago. I think I am ready to head back into the dating world, but I am scared of making the same mistakes I have made in the past.
It seems I have a knack for being attracted to wrong qualities in a lady, which makes me end up with the same kind of people. I want to believe that there is a happier relationship out there for me. I am not sure I could handle another heartbreak! How can I ensure that history does not repeat itself?
Confused Derrick
IT is normal to feel like jumping into another relationship, especially after you have just fallen out of another. When a relationship fails, it leaves both parties with different intensities of emotional wounds that often take a while to heal. The time it takes to fully recover varies from person to person. Do you still feel some pain or bitterness as a result of the break-up? As much as your partner matters in a relationship, everything must begin with you. Your qualities determine the kind of people you are attracted to. Get to know who you are first, before anything else. A successful relationship is more to do with being the ‘right’ person than getting the right person. There is a happier relationship for you, only if you are ready to learn from your mistakes. Ensure that history does not repeat itself by asking yourself where you went wrong. Maybe you need to shift your focus from a lady’s physical beauty to personality and character.
My girlfriend’s love just died
Dear aunt,
I have been with my girlfriend for almost two years. She loved me until a few months back, when she told me we should remain friends because she had lost feelings for me. I never did anything wrong. She is not seeing anyone else. I am heartbroken. Is it true that love dies? Will she ever come back?
R.H.
Dear R.H,
It must be quite frustrating to be in love with a lady who has lost feelings for you. You seem convinced that she is not seeing another man. Yes, love can ‘die’, depending on whether it was there in the first place. Your girlfriend seems to be a little dishonest with you. Merely ‘losing feelings’ for you is not credible enough to support her move, unless she has been taking you for a ride. Relationship is about meeting each other’s emotional needs. The painful reality is, love must be mutual, it cannot be forced and it is either there or not. Clinging onto a relationship that has failed might cause you deeper psychological distress. True healing is only achieved when you accept the loss, deal with the painful emotions and move on.
Send your questions to
Vision Intimate
P.O. BOX 9815, Kampala OR intimate@newvision.co.ug
Dear aunt,
I broke up with my lover about six months ago. I think I am ready to head back into the dating world, but I am scared of making the same mistakes I have made in the past.
It seems I have a knack for being attracted to wrong qualities in a lady, which makes me end up with the same kind of people. I want to believe that there is a happier relationship out there for me. I am not sure I could handle another heartbreak! How can I ensure that history does not repeat itself?
Confused Derrick
IT is normal to feel like jumping into another relationship, especially after you have just fallen out of another. When a relationship fails, it leaves both parties with different intensities of emotional wounds that often take a while to heal. The time it takes to fully recover varies from person to person. Do you still feel some pain or bitterness as a result of the break-up? As much as your partner matters in a relationship, everything must begin with you. Your qualities determine the kind of people you are attracted to. Get to know who you are first, before anything else. A successful relationship is more to do with being the ‘right’ person than getting the right person. There is a happier relationship for you, only if you are ready to learn from your mistakes. Ensure that history does not repeat itself by asking yourself where you went wrong. Maybe you need to shift your focus from a lady’s physical beauty to personality and character.
My girlfriend’s love just died
Dear aunt,
I have been with my girlfriend for almost two years. She loved me until a few months back, when she told me we should remain friends because she had lost feelings for me. I never did anything wrong. She is not seeing anyone else. I am heartbroken. Is it true that love dies? Will she ever come back?
R.H.
Dear R.H,
It must be quite frustrating to be in love with a lady who has lost feelings for you. You seem convinced that she is not seeing another man. Yes, love can ‘die’, depending on whether it was there in the first place. Your girlfriend seems to be a little dishonest with you. Merely ‘losing feelings’ for you is not credible enough to support her move, unless she has been taking you for a ride. Relationship is about meeting each other’s emotional needs. The painful reality is, love must be mutual, it cannot be forced and it is either there or not. Clinging onto a relationship that has failed might cause you deeper psychological distress. True healing is only achieved when you accept the loss, deal with the painful emotions and move on.
Send your questions to
Vision Intimate
P.O. BOX 9815, Kampala OR intimate@newvision.co.ug