The choice of a career does not lie in the subjects, but in the individual
I must commend you for doing your best to ensure that your children receive nothing but the best in their education. However, you should not overstep your bounds.
Dear Jamesa,
I have two boys whom we (parents) advised to choose specific schools (due to stiff competition in some schools), but they refused to take heed.
Although they performed well, they did not go to the ‘first world schools.’ Their young sister, who got three distinctions and heeded our advice, is now in Ndejje SSS and is performing well.
I am contemplating choosing courses for them at university and they seem to have accepted. Am I doing the right thing? Which other steps should I take to ensure that I do not step on their toes and at the same time get what I want?
The boys are doing Mathematics, Physics, and Economics with French and Luganda, while the girl is taking History, Economics, Geography and Luganda.
Please help.
J.R.K
Dear J.R.K,
I must commend you for doing your best to ensure that your children receive nothing but the best in their education. However, you should not overstep your bounds.
As a parent, you have parental responsibilities but with clear boundaries that you must respect. Your two sons are distinct individuals with unique abilities, talents and interests that may or may not correspond with yours.
Just as Nancy Van Pelt mentions in her book, Train Up a Child, the best gift you can give your children is not parental love, but helping them believe in themselves.
Making choices for your children might appear responsible, yet it denies them a chance to believe in themselves. By making choices for them, you are indirectly communicating, ‘You are not competent enough to do this. I have to do it for you, or else, you will get it wrong…..’
Although subject combination is critical in one’s career journey, the choice of a career does not lie in the subjects, but in the individual.
Even as you insist on your sons doing only ‘what you want’, keep in mind that career is an individual decision that every child has to make. How about guiding them to enable them make informed decisions?
Let us share some tips on how you can do this: l Were your sons allowed to choose these subjects or you pushed the subjects down their throats? Find out what their career interests are and whether the subjects can lead them to those career destinations.
l Career choice is one way through which children exercise their individuality and uniqueness. Your sons come from the same womb, but each one is a unique individual whose interests must be respected. l Whereas success in secondary school education is based on grades, university education is quite different.
At university, the child does not just earn grades, but acquires skills for service. Since you cannot apply skills you do not like, student’s interests and abilities should be critically considered before a career is chosen.
l Your sons are studying for themselves, not for you. Guide them on their choices, but give them a chance to study ‘what they want’ rather than ‘what you want’.
jwagwau@newvision.co.ug 0772-631032
I have two boys whom we (parents) advised to choose specific schools (due to stiff competition in some schools), but they refused to take heed.
Although they performed well, they did not go to the ‘first world schools.’ Their young sister, who got three distinctions and heeded our advice, is now in Ndejje SSS and is performing well.
I am contemplating choosing courses for them at university and they seem to have accepted. Am I doing the right thing? Which other steps should I take to ensure that I do not step on their toes and at the same time get what I want?
The boys are doing Mathematics, Physics, and Economics with French and Luganda, while the girl is taking History, Economics, Geography and Luganda.
Please help.
J.R.K
Dear J.R.K,
I must commend you for doing your best to ensure that your children receive nothing but the best in their education. However, you should not overstep your bounds.
As a parent, you have parental responsibilities but with clear boundaries that you must respect. Your two sons are distinct individuals with unique abilities, talents and interests that may or may not correspond with yours.
Just as Nancy Van Pelt mentions in her book, Train Up a Child, the best gift you can give your children is not parental love, but helping them believe in themselves.
Making choices for your children might appear responsible, yet it denies them a chance to believe in themselves. By making choices for them, you are indirectly communicating, ‘You are not competent enough to do this. I have to do it for you, or else, you will get it wrong…..’
Although subject combination is critical in one’s career journey, the choice of a career does not lie in the subjects, but in the individual.
Even as you insist on your sons doing only ‘what you want’, keep in mind that career is an individual decision that every child has to make. How about guiding them to enable them make informed decisions?
Let us share some tips on how you can do this: l Were your sons allowed to choose these subjects or you pushed the subjects down their throats? Find out what their career interests are and whether the subjects can lead them to those career destinations.
l Career choice is one way through which children exercise their individuality and uniqueness. Your sons come from the same womb, but each one is a unique individual whose interests must be respected. l Whereas success in secondary school education is based on grades, university education is quite different.
At university, the child does not just earn grades, but acquires skills for service. Since you cannot apply skills you do not like, student’s interests and abilities should be critically considered before a career is chosen.
l Your sons are studying for themselves, not for you. Guide them on their choices, but give them a chance to study ‘what they want’ rather than ‘what you want’.
jwagwau@newvision.co.ug 0772-631032