My brothers are against our relationship
Jun 08, 2007
<b>Dear aunt,<br>I am a 28-year-old lady and have been in a steady relationship for about five years. However, the aunt of my fiancé has a mental illness and my brothers are against our affair.
Dear aunt,
I am a 28-year-old lady and have been in a steady relationship for about five years. However, the aunt of my fiancé has a mental illness and my brothers are against our affair. They say she will be a burden to our family and that our children might also be affected since mental illness runs in families. With time, I know my mum will also join my brothers in opposing our relationship. I love my fiancé and I intend to marry him this year. Please help.
WN
Dear WN,
I assume that by ‘mental illness’ you are referring to a chronic mental disorder called schizophrenia. It is true that this disease is genetic and runs in families.
However, the chances of passing the disease to the children are only increased when the disease is in both your family and the man’s family. Your fears are legitimate and you need to see a psychiatrist to help you understand it more.
After being in a relationship for five years, you must have developed an intimate emotional bond. Ending a relationship on the grounds of genetic illness might be quite challenging. Have you discussed these concerns with your boyfriend especially the idea of his sick aunt becoming ‘a burden’ to your family? Open communication will help you deal with your anxieties and also change your perception of the problem. Seek help from a professional counsellor to help you make the right decision.
Is she playing hard to get?
Dear Aunt,
I am a 25-year-old man who has been admiring a 21-year-old girl since 2005. After sending her a number of text messages and calling her on phone, I gained courage to face her and told her I loved her. She said I was a good person but that she was not interested in any relationship beyond friendship. Although she appreciated the birthday present I had bought her, she said she was not interested in receiving money from me. Is she merely playing hard to get?
ST
Dear S.T,
I congratulate you on your ability to face a lady and express your feelings. However, you need to note that the lady is not obliged to develop similar feelings for you. Ladies are human beings with unique tastes and preferences that every man should respect. A love relationship does not just fall from space; it must be developed and allowed to grow. It seems this lady feels you cannot relate beyond friendship and you need to take her by her word. Real love cannot be one-sided; it has to be mutual and you cannot force anybody to love you. If you love her, give her time to appreciate you deeper before she makes up her mind.
Send your questions to intimate@newvision.co.ug
OR P.O. BOX 9815, Kampala
I am a 28-year-old lady and have been in a steady relationship for about five years. However, the aunt of my fiancé has a mental illness and my brothers are against our affair. They say she will be a burden to our family and that our children might also be affected since mental illness runs in families. With time, I know my mum will also join my brothers in opposing our relationship. I love my fiancé and I intend to marry him this year. Please help.
WN
Dear WN,
I assume that by ‘mental illness’ you are referring to a chronic mental disorder called schizophrenia. It is true that this disease is genetic and runs in families.
However, the chances of passing the disease to the children are only increased when the disease is in both your family and the man’s family. Your fears are legitimate and you need to see a psychiatrist to help you understand it more.
After being in a relationship for five years, you must have developed an intimate emotional bond. Ending a relationship on the grounds of genetic illness might be quite challenging. Have you discussed these concerns with your boyfriend especially the idea of his sick aunt becoming ‘a burden’ to your family? Open communication will help you deal with your anxieties and also change your perception of the problem. Seek help from a professional counsellor to help you make the right decision.
Is she playing hard to get?
Dear Aunt,
I am a 25-year-old man who has been admiring a 21-year-old girl since 2005. After sending her a number of text messages and calling her on phone, I gained courage to face her and told her I loved her. She said I was a good person but that she was not interested in any relationship beyond friendship. Although she appreciated the birthday present I had bought her, she said she was not interested in receiving money from me. Is she merely playing hard to get?
ST
Dear S.T,
I congratulate you on your ability to face a lady and express your feelings. However, you need to note that the lady is not obliged to develop similar feelings for you. Ladies are human beings with unique tastes and preferences that every man should respect. A love relationship does not just fall from space; it must be developed and allowed to grow. It seems this lady feels you cannot relate beyond friendship and you need to take her by her word. Real love cannot be one-sided; it has to be mutual and you cannot force anybody to love you. If you love her, give her time to appreciate you deeper before she makes up her mind.
Send your questions to intimate@newvision.co.ug
OR P.O. BOX 9815, Kampala