Learn to love from the way you love the Cranes
Jun 22, 2007
LOVE is one very big headache! Now look at this girlfriend called Cranes. Just when you think of interdicting her for supplying seeds that do not germinate, she ejects the Nigerian tycoon, fires up her romance and leaves you in bliss the whole night. She promises to take you for a honeymoon in Ghana
Hilary Bainemigisha- Dr Love
LOVE is one very big headache! Now look at this girlfriend called Cranes. Just when you think of interdicting her for supplying seeds that do not germinate, she ejects the Nigerian tycoon, fires up her romance and leaves you in bliss the whole night. She promises to take you for a honeymoon in Ghana and there is no way you can’t love her to pieces.
Your expectation convinces you that she would behave well with Lesotho men. What else would a woman who vowed to do whatever it takes to keep your facial muscles disorganised into a smile do? But you are wrong! When she reaches Maseru, she uses Gulu’s elastic pangas that romance the enemy instead of chopping them to pieces. You regret why you even dodged a work- planning meeting just to be with her on radio.
Like a woman on family planning, she delivers nothing however much you push and pant. The Cranes collectively conspire to give you a heartbreak together with radio commentators and listeners. It becomes so bad that we now have to revise our mathematics, figuring out who could beat who else for us to qualify. And for me, when something goes beyond pie-R-squared, I give up.
To be fair, our relationship with the Cranes is a love affair simplified. When a lover impresses you, you raise your standards and expect the new rates to keep up. You also up your love display to match her supply. But in the process, the demand and supply curve sets in.
When you display a lot of love, they begin to take you for granted and their demand falls. It is until you seem to withdraw (reduce supply) that the lover will wake up and remove the speed governor. Then the cycle continues until you discover the equilibrium.
And as with love, instead of blaming the Cranes, I have heard kiboko squads running after Ssekaja, Obua and the Nigerians! But these innocent people were, at the moment the match was played in Maseru, millions of metres away from the scene of the Cranes’ crime. You know how spouses keep deflecting blame from their beloved. It is a defence mechanism for people’s hearts – especially women. When the husband is seen with other women, they blame the woman for having seduced him. When he fights in bars, they blame his colleagues for being bad company. And they can keep on blaming other things until the sinner blackens himself in cloudy-night guilt. Then they blame Satan.
But what should we do with this inconsistent lover called the Cranes? I know what: We need to love her without expecting rewards for it. Love her when she wins, love her when she loses and love her when she errs. Love her when she disappoints, love her when she appoints and love her when she does nothing.
Draw joy from offering your all without expecting rewards –– that, in my book, is genuine unconditional love. It may come with heartbreaks here and there but … well, that is what love is all about – a life-long struggle to avoid a heartbreak. But before you try it on the Cranes, first perfect it on your beloved one. You will love it more.
LOVE is one very big headache! Now look at this girlfriend called Cranes. Just when you think of interdicting her for supplying seeds that do not germinate, she ejects the Nigerian tycoon, fires up her romance and leaves you in bliss the whole night. She promises to take you for a honeymoon in Ghana and there is no way you can’t love her to pieces.
Your expectation convinces you that she would behave well with Lesotho men. What else would a woman who vowed to do whatever it takes to keep your facial muscles disorganised into a smile do? But you are wrong! When she reaches Maseru, she uses Gulu’s elastic pangas that romance the enemy instead of chopping them to pieces. You regret why you even dodged a work- planning meeting just to be with her on radio.
Like a woman on family planning, she delivers nothing however much you push and pant. The Cranes collectively conspire to give you a heartbreak together with radio commentators and listeners. It becomes so bad that we now have to revise our mathematics, figuring out who could beat who else for us to qualify. And for me, when something goes beyond pie-R-squared, I give up.
To be fair, our relationship with the Cranes is a love affair simplified. When a lover impresses you, you raise your standards and expect the new rates to keep up. You also up your love display to match her supply. But in the process, the demand and supply curve sets in.
When you display a lot of love, they begin to take you for granted and their demand falls. It is until you seem to withdraw (reduce supply) that the lover will wake up and remove the speed governor. Then the cycle continues until you discover the equilibrium.
And as with love, instead of blaming the Cranes, I have heard kiboko squads running after Ssekaja, Obua and the Nigerians! But these innocent people were, at the moment the match was played in Maseru, millions of metres away from the scene of the Cranes’ crime. You know how spouses keep deflecting blame from their beloved. It is a defence mechanism for people’s hearts – especially women. When the husband is seen with other women, they blame the woman for having seduced him. When he fights in bars, they blame his colleagues for being bad company. And they can keep on blaming other things until the sinner blackens himself in cloudy-night guilt. Then they blame Satan.
But what should we do with this inconsistent lover called the Cranes? I know what: We need to love her without expecting rewards for it. Love her when she wins, love her when she loses and love her when she errs. Love her when she disappoints, love her when she appoints and love her when she does nothing.
Draw joy from offering your all without expecting rewards –– that, in my book, is genuine unconditional love. It may come with heartbreaks here and there but … well, that is what love is all about – a life-long struggle to avoid a heartbreak. But before you try it on the Cranes, first perfect it on your beloved one. You will love it more.