My children have small penises
Jul 08, 2007
SELF-ESTEEM is fragile especially for such young children and your desire to preserve their self-esteem is justified. Contrary to what many parents believe, the impact of boarding school on a child largely depends on the foundation a child receives at home. The critical foundation for self-esteem is
Dear Jamesa,
Two of my sons (aged four years and nine months) have very tiny and short penises. Their father has the same problem and to say the least, I found him a very shattered man with almost no self- esteem. Is there a way I can help my sons not to face the same problem in future? I fear to take them to a boarding school because other boys might laugh at them and make them ashamed of themselves. What do I do?
Worried mum
Dear worried mum,
SELF-ESTEEM is fragile especially for such young children and your desire to preserve their self-esteem is justified. Contrary to what many parents believe, the impact of boarding school on a child largely depends on the foundation a child receives at home. The critical foundation for self-esteem is laid from home and not from boarding school.
Your communication and interaction with your children from a tender age form the building blocks for this foundation.
Since our society gauges people based on their physical traits, you need to prepare the boys for the challenge.
Help them understand that they can neither choose nor change their physical traits.
This is called self-acceptance. It means knowing and accepting yourself without necessarily desiring to be another person.
Although your sons derive unique gender identity from their genitals, their value goes beyond the size of their penises. A small penis can only shatter a boy’s self-esteem if parents, siblings and peers make him to perceive it negatively.
You are the most important person in the life of your sons and everything you do can either shatter or build them. Their self-esteem lies more in your hands than in the hands of their peers.
Let us explore how best you can lay a strong self-esteem foundation for them:
l Help them to accept their bodies as a God-given gift that cannot be changed. Let them also understand that their value goes beyond their physical body.
Constantly remind every child how proud you are to have a son like him. Never scold them using their physical traits. Statements like, ‘I wish you could use your big head to understand this’ might make a child uncomfortable with his body.
Your fear for boarding school is genuine, but shielding them from other children does not change anything. In fact, shielding them from their peers deprives them of the opportunity to develop essential social skills.
Did you know that no level of teasing can shatter a child with a well- developed self-esteem? Inoculate them against teasing from peers by helping them to believe in themselves.
Communicate positively and avoid comparing them with other children. Avoid statements like, “why can’t you be more like your brother?â€
Young children hardly pay attention to their bodies unless there is an outright deformity. At their tender age, your sons might not be perturbed by the size of their penises unless you draw too much attention to it.
Just as Nancy Van Pelt, a leadership development consultant mentions in her book, Train up a Child, the best gift you can give your child is to make them believe in themselves.
Let your sons know that you believe in them and the cruel world of peers might never make them doubt themselves.
jwagwau@newvision.co.ug
0772-631032
Two of my sons (aged four years and nine months) have very tiny and short penises. Their father has the same problem and to say the least, I found him a very shattered man with almost no self- esteem. Is there a way I can help my sons not to face the same problem in future? I fear to take them to a boarding school because other boys might laugh at them and make them ashamed of themselves. What do I do?
Worried mum
Dear worried mum,
SELF-ESTEEM is fragile especially for such young children and your desire to preserve their self-esteem is justified. Contrary to what many parents believe, the impact of boarding school on a child largely depends on the foundation a child receives at home. The critical foundation for self-esteem is laid from home and not from boarding school.
Your communication and interaction with your children from a tender age form the building blocks for this foundation.
Since our society gauges people based on their physical traits, you need to prepare the boys for the challenge.
Help them understand that they can neither choose nor change their physical traits.
This is called self-acceptance. It means knowing and accepting yourself without necessarily desiring to be another person.
Although your sons derive unique gender identity from their genitals, their value goes beyond the size of their penises. A small penis can only shatter a boy’s self-esteem if parents, siblings and peers make him to perceive it negatively.
You are the most important person in the life of your sons and everything you do can either shatter or build them. Their self-esteem lies more in your hands than in the hands of their peers.
Let us explore how best you can lay a strong self-esteem foundation for them:
l Help them to accept their bodies as a God-given gift that cannot be changed. Let them also understand that their value goes beyond their physical body.
Constantly remind every child how proud you are to have a son like him. Never scold them using their physical traits. Statements like, ‘I wish you could use your big head to understand this’ might make a child uncomfortable with his body.
Your fear for boarding school is genuine, but shielding them from other children does not change anything. In fact, shielding them from their peers deprives them of the opportunity to develop essential social skills.
Did you know that no level of teasing can shatter a child with a well- developed self-esteem? Inoculate them against teasing from peers by helping them to believe in themselves.
Communicate positively and avoid comparing them with other children. Avoid statements like, “why can’t you be more like your brother?â€
Young children hardly pay attention to their bodies unless there is an outright deformity. At their tender age, your sons might not be perturbed by the size of their penises unless you draw too much attention to it.
Just as Nancy Van Pelt, a leadership development consultant mentions in her book, Train up a Child, the best gift you can give your child is to make them believe in themselves.
Let your sons know that you believe in them and the cruel world of peers might never make them doubt themselves.
jwagwau@newvision.co.ug
0772-631032