You Ask Us
Aug 03, 2007
<b>Dear Auntie, <br>I am often exhausted in the evenings and I just want to cuddle with my husband. But it always turns into sex. When I refuse, he feels rejected and then we fight. What do I do? <br>Monica, Kampala</b>
Dear Auntie,
I am often exhausted in the evenings and I just want to cuddle with my husband. But it always turns into sex. When I refuse, he feels rejected and then we fight. What do I do?
Monica, Kampala
Dear Monica
It is important that you talk about it with your husband. Let him understand why you are feeling so tired, so he can stop feeling rejected. Don’t wait until he takes the cuddling further to have this discussion. Tell him you love cuddling because it really helps to recharge your battery. Gently say that it would be really great if the two of you could periodically enjoy this physical connection together without it leading to sex.
For men, having sex is a wonderful way to relieve tension and anxiety, feel soothed and fall asleep as happy as a baby. Since women have different biological and emotional needs, they generally seek cuddles, massages and stroking to discharge the tension.
Dear Auntie
I left my boyfriend’s house after three years because of domestic violence. But we don’t seem to let go. We are in touch everyday and see other once or twice a week. But we usually end up arguing and quarrelling. Are we not wasting time? I feel we still love each other. What can I do?
RHN
Dear RHN
Do you still really love each other, or are you both afraid of being alone and starting over on the dating scene with the built-in possibility of rejection?
You need to face reality. If you feel the relationship is worth keeping, seek a counsellor and learn how to be with a violence-prone man. If you decide it is not, try cutting the link. It will hurt but not for long. Get new friends and evolve away from his cycle of influence.
I am often exhausted in the evenings and I just want to cuddle with my husband. But it always turns into sex. When I refuse, he feels rejected and then we fight. What do I do?
Monica, Kampala
Dear Monica
It is important that you talk about it with your husband. Let him understand why you are feeling so tired, so he can stop feeling rejected. Don’t wait until he takes the cuddling further to have this discussion. Tell him you love cuddling because it really helps to recharge your battery. Gently say that it would be really great if the two of you could periodically enjoy this physical connection together without it leading to sex.
For men, having sex is a wonderful way to relieve tension and anxiety, feel soothed and fall asleep as happy as a baby. Since women have different biological and emotional needs, they generally seek cuddles, massages and stroking to discharge the tension.
Dear Auntie
I left my boyfriend’s house after three years because of domestic violence. But we don’t seem to let go. We are in touch everyday and see other once or twice a week. But we usually end up arguing and quarrelling. Are we not wasting time? I feel we still love each other. What can I do?
RHN
Dear RHN
Do you still really love each other, or are you both afraid of being alone and starting over on the dating scene with the built-in possibility of rejection?
You need to face reality. If you feel the relationship is worth keeping, seek a counsellor and learn how to be with a violence-prone man. If you decide it is not, try cutting the link. It will hurt but not for long. Get new friends and evolve away from his cycle of influence.