Wilson’s generous Christians
Bishop Wilson Mutebi
Question: TB, with that headline, aren’t you going to incur the wrath of the First Lady, Janet Museveni? I mean, you know how she goes on preaching about abstaining and sex before marriage?
Hold your horses! Don’t go blaming me, but blame Bishop Wilson Mutebi, who made some utterances that implied Christian women were easy to get into the sack and thus an easy lay.
Bishop Mutebi! Who is he and where does he do his preaching from because if I am going to believe you, then his comments are indeed scandalous.
Well, fortunately or unfortunately, depending on which side of the fence you stand, Mutebi does not do any more preaching. He retired after serving as bishop in Mityana Diocese.
TB, now that he is retired, would you have any objection if we just referred to him as Willy and did away with all that hullabaloo of retired Bishop Wilson Mutebi, formerly of Mityana Diocese? And then, can you expand on the utterances he made?
To your first question, I have no objection and hence forth, Willy it is. What Willy said is that “Female Christians are too generous. They give in to even useless men, allowing them to play with their bodies.â€
What are our saved-ee sisters generous with? Money? Their cars? What? And secondly, what did Willy mean when he said our sisters allow useless men to play with their bodies? Did he mean the way men play cards, Ludo, Monopoly or Scrabble?
What Willy was saying is that our Christian sisters are very care-free about giving out that fruit that is strategically placed in the environs of their upper thighs. And what he meant by “allowing men to play with their bodies†that I don’t know.
That was more information than I needed to know. So, what is Willy’s beef? Has he failed to score with one of the generous Christians?
Take that back for it was uncalled for! Willy’s beef is that our Christian sisters are to blame for the increase in HIV/AIDS.
Would you know how Willy came to that assumption? Did he do some form of research?
No idea but what I do know is that he made those utterances while presiding over a confirmation mass for 120 children at Ham Mukasa Church of Uganda last week.
So TB, are you telling us to be wary of Christian girls?
If Willy’s utterances are anything to go by, then yes. But he did say, “Many men masquerade as believers to hook born-again women with no intention of marrying them.â€
Now these masquerader#s TB, how do they go about getting these Christians? Would I be right in saying that those chaps who stand with a Bible preaching at Clock Tower, Shell Jinja Road roundabout and Kampala Road opposite the Post Office are the masqueraders?
That is an interesting observation. Assuming it is true, why would a Christian girl want to hook up with a man who has spent the best part of the day being baked by the sun, covered in a foil of dust and has probably lost his voice?
I think we ought to warn our sisters. Born agains, please avoid the masqueraders who hang on the streets trying to hook you. They are sweaty and up to no good. TB can you now recommend which type of masquerader would be suitable for our Christian sisters and where these masqueraders might be found?
With pleasure! The classic masquerader used to be found at X-Bar in Bukoto, but alas, the bar has since closed down. They could try Fat Boyz in Kisimenti. The hardened masquerader is found at DDI in Kansanga. I can’t reveal any names, but should there be any interested saved-ees who want to get in touch with them, they are free to e-mail me.
tbukumunhe@newvision.co.ug
Hold your horses! Don’t go blaming me, but blame Bishop Wilson Mutebi, who made some utterances that implied Christian women were easy to get into the sack and thus an easy lay.
Bishop Mutebi! Who is he and where does he do his preaching from because if I am going to believe you, then his comments are indeed scandalous.
Well, fortunately or unfortunately, depending on which side of the fence you stand, Mutebi does not do any more preaching. He retired after serving as bishop in Mityana Diocese.
TB, now that he is retired, would you have any objection if we just referred to him as Willy and did away with all that hullabaloo of retired Bishop Wilson Mutebi, formerly of Mityana Diocese? And then, can you expand on the utterances he made?
To your first question, I have no objection and hence forth, Willy it is. What Willy said is that “Female Christians are too generous. They give in to even useless men, allowing them to play with their bodies.â€
What are our saved-ee sisters generous with? Money? Their cars? What? And secondly, what did Willy mean when he said our sisters allow useless men to play with their bodies? Did he mean the way men play cards, Ludo, Monopoly or Scrabble?
What Willy was saying is that our Christian sisters are very care-free about giving out that fruit that is strategically placed in the environs of their upper thighs. And what he meant by “allowing men to play with their bodies†that I don’t know.
That was more information than I needed to know. So, what is Willy’s beef? Has he failed to score with one of the generous Christians?
Take that back for it was uncalled for! Willy’s beef is that our Christian sisters are to blame for the increase in HIV/AIDS.
Would you know how Willy came to that assumption? Did he do some form of research?
No idea but what I do know is that he made those utterances while presiding over a confirmation mass for 120 children at Ham Mukasa Church of Uganda last week.
So TB, are you telling us to be wary of Christian girls?
If Willy’s utterances are anything to go by, then yes. But he did say, “Many men masquerade as believers to hook born-again women with no intention of marrying them.â€
Now these masquerader#s TB, how do they go about getting these Christians? Would I be right in saying that those chaps who stand with a Bible preaching at Clock Tower, Shell Jinja Road roundabout and Kampala Road opposite the Post Office are the masqueraders?
That is an interesting observation. Assuming it is true, why would a Christian girl want to hook up with a man who has spent the best part of the day being baked by the sun, covered in a foil of dust and has probably lost his voice?
I think we ought to warn our sisters. Born agains, please avoid the masqueraders who hang on the streets trying to hook you. They are sweaty and up to no good. TB can you now recommend which type of masquerader would be suitable for our Christian sisters and where these masqueraders might be found?
With pleasure! The classic masquerader used to be found at X-Bar in Bukoto, but alas, the bar has since closed down. They could try Fat Boyz in Kisimenti. The hardened masquerader is found at DDI in Kansanga. I can’t reveal any names, but should there be any interested saved-ees who want to get in touch with them, they are free to e-mail me.
tbukumunhe@newvision.co.ug