How to cheat exams at campus
Exams are over at university and it is holiday time. For some reason, the streets are free of those chicks who sell stuff by the roadside (Coincidence???).
Exams are over at university and it is holiday time. For some reason, the streets are free of those chicks who sell stuff by the roadside (Coincidence???). However, that is not my problem. My problem is during exams, these kids take to spending time binging than reading and the next thing you know, they have a retake, which they are always very proud about because it guarantees kaboozi to flow.
Parents send these people to study yet studying to them has everything to do with how many beers you can handle and how many rounds you can go!! A few weeks ago, during exams, they were probably sweating, trying to find answers to questions in vain. Today I will give university chaps the key to passing their exams in a way that will guarantee a first class. No, I don't want sex in return, I am just carrying out my social responsibility of helping a bunch of drug addicts and drunkards (too true, that one!) find a more meaningful meaning to life!
Truth is I cannot do anything to improve these students’ drinking and sexual stamina (though I am willing to try for the female students), I can only help them pass their exams. Most of the time students get to know about their exams from the barman! And the next thing they are doing is rushing to read a book or two, which I think is bogus. Why rob yourself of valuable time you could spend on more important studies?
As a consultant on these matters, I think the best book to read before an exam is the Bible, it will teach you how to pray. The problem with praying is, lecturers do not allow it where it is needed most: in the exam room. So the only alternative here is to cheat. Yes, C.H.E.A.T! Cheating is perfectly fine as long as you do not get caught. Uganda is a country that thrives on cheating, we cheat everything, from elections to Uchumi underwear! So all my brothers and sisters at university, just do the needful, CHEAT!
Of course, it is difficult to cheat effectively without the help of some brainy, where brainy means anyone besides the person you were drinking with at 3:am last night.
Okay! Now that we are here, I will tell you how to deal with Mr. Brainy. Just handcuff yourself to him and when the invigilator asks questions, tell him that Mr. Brainy is on the most wanted list of the Chieftancy of Military Intelligence and that he is only exercising his constitutional right to complete his exams before you take him to a safe house! Hey, do not, and I repeat, DO NOT try this in a Criminal law exam!
Lets say, Mr. Brainy tells you that the answer to No. 3 (a) is Black eyed peas, I suggest you rub your eyes real hard, you will be surprised that your Mr. Brainy was the guy you had a drink with at the bar last night!
Anyway, go out there and cheat your exams but do not get caught. let me tell you a story about cheating. I swear this is a true story.
We were in a biology exam and this chick found the question: “Draw a diagram of the female reproductive organ†too hard and she decided to lean forward on her desk as she thought out how to get around this challenge. One guy who was seated next to her raised his hand and reported her to the invigilator, mbu she was copying from the original!
Creative Director,
Bullseye! Creative
Kagga House, Bugolobi
Tel. 031-263033
Parents send these people to study yet studying to them has everything to do with how many beers you can handle and how many rounds you can go!! A few weeks ago, during exams, they were probably sweating, trying to find answers to questions in vain. Today I will give university chaps the key to passing their exams in a way that will guarantee a first class. No, I don't want sex in return, I am just carrying out my social responsibility of helping a bunch of drug addicts and drunkards (too true, that one!) find a more meaningful meaning to life!
Truth is I cannot do anything to improve these students’ drinking and sexual stamina (though I am willing to try for the female students), I can only help them pass their exams. Most of the time students get to know about their exams from the barman! And the next thing they are doing is rushing to read a book or two, which I think is bogus. Why rob yourself of valuable time you could spend on more important studies?
As a consultant on these matters, I think the best book to read before an exam is the Bible, it will teach you how to pray. The problem with praying is, lecturers do not allow it where it is needed most: in the exam room. So the only alternative here is to cheat. Yes, C.H.E.A.T! Cheating is perfectly fine as long as you do not get caught. Uganda is a country that thrives on cheating, we cheat everything, from elections to Uchumi underwear! So all my brothers and sisters at university, just do the needful, CHEAT!
Of course, it is difficult to cheat effectively without the help of some brainy, where brainy means anyone besides the person you were drinking with at 3:am last night.
Okay! Now that we are here, I will tell you how to deal with Mr. Brainy. Just handcuff yourself to him and when the invigilator asks questions, tell him that Mr. Brainy is on the most wanted list of the Chieftancy of Military Intelligence and that he is only exercising his constitutional right to complete his exams before you take him to a safe house! Hey, do not, and I repeat, DO NOT try this in a Criminal law exam!
Lets say, Mr. Brainy tells you that the answer to No. 3 (a) is Black eyed peas, I suggest you rub your eyes real hard, you will be surprised that your Mr. Brainy was the guy you had a drink with at the bar last night!
Anyway, go out there and cheat your exams but do not get caught. let me tell you a story about cheating. I swear this is a true story.
We were in a biology exam and this chick found the question: “Draw a diagram of the female reproductive organ†too hard and she decided to lean forward on her desk as she thought out how to get around this challenge. One guy who was seated next to her raised his hand and reported her to the invigilator, mbu she was copying from the original!
Creative Director,
Bullseye! Creative
Kagga House, Bugolobi
Tel. 031-263033