My boyfriend is pressuring me to have sex
Jun 23, 2006
Dear aunt, I am 19-year-old and have been in love with 23-year-old guy for six months. He is caring and I love him deeply. We have never had sex and I am still a virgin. Of late, he is pressuring me to have sex but I feel I should lose my virginity to a man I intend to marry. I also fear getting pr
Dear aunt, I am 19-year-old and have been in love with 23-year-old guy for six months. He is caring and I love him deeply. We have never had sex and I am still a virgin. Of late, he is pressuring me to have sex but I feel I should lose my virginity to a man I intend to marry. I also fear getting pregnant yet I wouldn’t like to lose this guy. Please help.
Carol
Dear Carol,
I must commend you for keeping your virginity. Very few girls manage to do this. You are right, virginity is too precious to be lost just like that. Have you ever shared your values with this guy? A man who truly loves you should respect your principles. By demanding sex against your will, your boyfriend is exerting undue emotional pressure on you.
Relationships during teenage shouldn’t begin and end with sex. They are meant to help you develop interpersonal skills for future commitment. Sex is not mere fun, but a responsibility with consequences. You need to prioritise your goals. What is important to you? Is it completing your studies or emotional commitment? Can you handle both? Make your feelings known to your boyfriend.
Use statements like ‘As much as I love you, I am not comfortable with sexual involvement now. There is time for sex and we both have a future to prepare for’. Genuine love is about appreciating the person and not just their body.
Fearing to lose him might also be a sign of low self-esteem. Carol believe in yourself and your destiny does not hang on a man. You are beautiful enough to be seen by the right man at the right time.
Carol
Dear Carol,
I must commend you for keeping your virginity. Very few girls manage to do this. You are right, virginity is too precious to be lost just like that. Have you ever shared your values with this guy? A man who truly loves you should respect your principles. By demanding sex against your will, your boyfriend is exerting undue emotional pressure on you.
Relationships during teenage shouldn’t begin and end with sex. They are meant to help you develop interpersonal skills for future commitment. Sex is not mere fun, but a responsibility with consequences. You need to prioritise your goals. What is important to you? Is it completing your studies or emotional commitment? Can you handle both? Make your feelings known to your boyfriend.
Use statements like ‘As much as I love you, I am not comfortable with sexual involvement now. There is time for sex and we both have a future to prepare for’. Genuine love is about appreciating the person and not just their body.
Fearing to lose him might also be a sign of low self-esteem. Carol believe in yourself and your destiny does not hang on a man. You are beautiful enough to be seen by the right man at the right time.