Saggy to build ‘kwete’ brewery
Jul 04, 2006
I have received reliable information that there is a ground-breaking technological innovation that has crept out of my home area (Nebbi oyeeee!). <i>The Monitor</i> reported that chaps in Nebbi have started using mosquito nets for refining <i>kwete</i>.
I have received reliable information that there is a ground-breaking technological innovation that has crept out of my home area (Nebbi oyeeee!). The Monitor reported that chaps in Nebbi have started using mosquito nets for refining kwete. Now for the unprimed, kwete has nothing to do with the Tanzanian president; kwete is a local brew that has won international awards in the eyes of the people who consume it — especially if you ask them immediately after they have consumed it!
This brew is the darling of many an Alur punter. It is made from fermented maize and ebigenderako and then served in gourds as big as the biggest hydrocell! The last time I went home, I marvelled at how my people were enjoying themselves with this rare alcoholic beverage. Seated on the ground, they told each other stories (true stories, by the way) as they occasionally sipped kwete from their gourds. You would think they have no problems.
When I tell people that we Alurs are the most innovative people (look at Archbishop Orombi, look at Saggy, — in no particular order!) they think I am lying, but it is a true story.
Who knew that the mosquito net was a dual-purpose object? I swear this is the biggest technological breakthrough ever since the steam engine and alcohol?
I can bet the breweries are wetting their pants in fear since the Alurs learned how to refine kwete. I have researched on three of the most ardent kwete consumers and 90% of them think it is the most selling beverage in the northern region. Followed by Eagle Lager and Senator, my respondents did not mention anything like Uganda Wa or Tyson Wa, which implies kwete is numero uno!
As the greatest son of Nebbi, after Rwot Phillip Olarker and Archbishop Orombi, I implore the Government to give us loans to develop the kwete industry.
We shall build a chain of kwete breweries in Erusi, Zeu, Paidha and then package it for the international market a.k.a Southern Sudan and Eastern Congo and then we see who has the deeper pockets between the Alurs and the rest of Ugandans.
I also implore the Ministry of Health to provide more mosquito nets to support this thriving industry. You may call the nets K.O-net, we really don’t care. To us, K.O means kwete Original!
Now pundits are wondering what will happen to malaria if the nets are being used for brewing alcohol. Well, I don’t care about malaria when there is alcohol. If you take a lot of kwete, I am told (but this was not confirmed by health officials) any mosquito that dares dip its proboscis into your skin is bound to get drunk and black out. I am also told that in an alcohol-drenched body, the malaria-causing parasite (I think its called the plasmodium) dies! So kwete oyee.
On a serious note, Suruma has raised taxes on malt beer and we have to import malt and oats that are used in making beer. Do we have to be Sudanese for the Government to support a local brew that has the potential to give other international market players a bloody nose.
The South Africans have done it with Amarula, the Irish have done it with Guinness, we can do it with kwete! I advise Alurs to find more use for mosquito nets. Fishing for angara with them might not be a bad idea?
This brew is the darling of many an Alur punter. It is made from fermented maize and ebigenderako and then served in gourds as big as the biggest hydrocell! The last time I went home, I marvelled at how my people were enjoying themselves with this rare alcoholic beverage. Seated on the ground, they told each other stories (true stories, by the way) as they occasionally sipped kwete from their gourds. You would think they have no problems.
When I tell people that we Alurs are the most innovative people (look at Archbishop Orombi, look at Saggy, — in no particular order!) they think I am lying, but it is a true story.
Who knew that the mosquito net was a dual-purpose object? I swear this is the biggest technological breakthrough ever since the steam engine and alcohol?
I can bet the breweries are wetting their pants in fear since the Alurs learned how to refine kwete. I have researched on three of the most ardent kwete consumers and 90% of them think it is the most selling beverage in the northern region. Followed by Eagle Lager and Senator, my respondents did not mention anything like Uganda Wa or Tyson Wa, which implies kwete is numero uno!
As the greatest son of Nebbi, after Rwot Phillip Olarker and Archbishop Orombi, I implore the Government to give us loans to develop the kwete industry.
We shall build a chain of kwete breweries in Erusi, Zeu, Paidha and then package it for the international market a.k.a Southern Sudan and Eastern Congo and then we see who has the deeper pockets between the Alurs and the rest of Ugandans.
I also implore the Ministry of Health to provide more mosquito nets to support this thriving industry. You may call the nets K.O-net, we really don’t care. To us, K.O means kwete Original!
Now pundits are wondering what will happen to malaria if the nets are being used for brewing alcohol. Well, I don’t care about malaria when there is alcohol. If you take a lot of kwete, I am told (but this was not confirmed by health officials) any mosquito that dares dip its proboscis into your skin is bound to get drunk and black out. I am also told that in an alcohol-drenched body, the malaria-causing parasite (I think its called the plasmodium) dies! So kwete oyee.
On a serious note, Suruma has raised taxes on malt beer and we have to import malt and oats that are used in making beer. Do we have to be Sudanese for the Government to support a local brew that has the potential to give other international market players a bloody nose.
The South Africans have done it with Amarula, the Irish have done it with Guinness, we can do it with kwete! I advise Alurs to find more use for mosquito nets. Fishing for angara with them might not be a bad idea?