Our hot tempers have kept us together
FRANK Morel, a French national, is husband to singer Iryn Namubiru. The couple has a four-year-old son, Ecko. They talked to <b>Sebidde Kiryowa</b> and <b>Pidson Kareire</b> about their unique relationship.
FRANK Morel, a French national, is husband to singer Iryn Namubiru. The couple has a four-year-old son, Ecko. They talked to Sebidde Kiryowa and Pidson Kareire about their unique relationship.
FRANK
QUESTION: Did you ever think you would end up marrying a black woman? ANSWER: It never even occurred to me that Iryn was black. I was raised in a family where we see people as human beings. I don’t subscribe to the concept of race to distinguish human beings. For me, there is only one race – the human race.
You managed Iryn and Julianna when the two formed I-Jay. Did you take advantage of your position to make a pass at Iryn then?
No, I met Iryn in October 1998 while I worked as deputy director of Alliance Francaise. I-Jay was formed at the end of 1999.
What was it about Iryn that swept you off your feet?
(Blushes and giggles) Actually, I fell for her voice before I even saw her. I was entering Sabrina’s Pub with my brother and I heard a sweet voice singing a Whitney Houston song. I told my brother, “I told you they have some great voices here.†As I descended the staircase, there was this girl on stage. So, I turned to my brother and said, “Wow, and she is not bad looking on top of that.â€
And then?
I gave my brother a stash of cash. I don’t remember how much, but it was a lot of money and told him to give it to her. After her performance, Iryn came over to our table and thanked us. We talked and exchanged numbers. After about three days, I left for Zanzibar. I wanted to see if I would feel the same way about her when I returned.
How hard was it for you to woo her?
Iryn was very cautious and she kept her distance without being disrespectful. She was very subtle. She never really pushed me away, but made me realise she wanted her space. Later she told me that she wanted to prove to me that if we were going to move out, it had to be about us, not because I was some mzungu who supposedly had money.
Didn’t you run out of patience?
No. I like challenges and I’m very stubborn but so is she and so is our son. The more she kept her distance, the more determined I became to win her over.
Rumour has it that you first dated Julianna before Iryn.
There has never been anything between Julianna and me. We had a simple and professional relationship while she sang in I-Jay. I have all I need in Iryn.
How would you rate her as a wife?
I feel like I married the most feminist African woman there is. She always makes it clear that she needs her space and time to do her things. Iryn is an independent and hot-tempered woman, but so am I. I am like a French Mukiga. I also see that in our son. I guess that is why we are still together. We have mutual respect and understanding for each other.
Tell us about the Iryn at home
At home, we share all the responsibilities as far as housekeeping is concerned. We leave a modest life in France. We have no maids, so we handle all the chores ourselves. As for cooking, I’m the cook at home. I do it over 60% of the time and I’m happy to do it.
Recently, Iryn said you would have kicked a fan who harassed her in Masindi. Are you that jealous and protective?
Yes. I have ever actually kicked someone. Once a drunken guy came over to her. I warned him that she was my girlfriend, but he ignored me. So, I beat him up! However, I’m not a violent person.
How did you feel seeing your wife’s underpants flashed in the newspapers?
Iryn herself was naïve then, but she has learnt her lesson and has a much more controlled persona now. No husband wants to see his wife do that.
What advantage would you say African women have over European women?
There is a saying we always use: ‘once you go black, you never go back.’ That is what happened to me. I’m not interested in bazungu girls anymore. I see them making moves on me, but I just don’t care.
What do you think is so addictive about African girls?
It is hard to put a finger to it, but I guess it is about the way they pay attention to their appearance. The way they handle themselves.
What would you change about Iryn?
We are both hot-tempered. But I cool down very fast. However, Iryn has a tendency of becoming defensive and keeping grudges. But she has been gaining in confidence and she learning not to let conflicts overwhelm her.
IRYN
What do you look for in a man?
Personality. I always wanted somebody that I could be stupid with; laugh and joke with and at the same time be able to have a serious conversation with.
Did you ever think you would marry a white man?
Never in my mind. I never planned my marriage even when I saw it coming. I thought our relationship would end soon.
Do you prefer home-loving guys to party animals?
Of course, every woman wants her man to be around her all the time. Fortunately, Frank likes having fun, but he is not a party animal.
Did you date class?
If I love class it means I don’t love him. I look at personality; how comfortable will I be with the person? What good will it bring me to date a rich man and I die of misery?
Is money important in relationships?
Love is the most important thing. I am an independent woman who believes in working for myself. When my mother failed to pay my fees at the age of 18, I toiled to achieve my goals from S5 up to the university. When I met Frank he was still a student, we worked together to be where we are now.
Do you have a lifestyle of the rich and the famous now?
I fit in any class. In Uganda, I live at my mom’s place where I share facilities with tenants.
How do you keep your romance burning?
I don’t stick to old ways. I am always looking for new things; relationships are like food; you have to spice them up.
What do you do to relax?
I listen to music and sometimes we play chess. In the evening we take walks with our son and sometimes invite visitors to our home.
What makes you happy at home?
When I find the house cleaned, I become so happy. Men are messy and those who are neat are perfectionists, but when Frank cleans the house, I appreciate it.
Is it true artistes cannot have stable relationships?
Everyone can have a happy relationship if they are organised and trustworthy. I think the nature of their work makes it hard for them. Most artistes are busy all the time and this makes their partners suspicious. A stable relationship is planned and people have to avoid rumours and negative thinking.
What would it take for you to split?
It would take a lot because we have always dealt with issues and settled them. Now that we have a child to bond us, we try to discuss our problems and come up with solutions.
How do you handle randy fans?
I don’t take them seriously; everyone knows I am married. For those who insist I tell them right away that I don’t like it.
Can you have two lovers at ago?
I don’t think I can. If it happens one must know that he is being cheated or both are not loved.
FRANK
QUESTION: Did you ever think you would end up marrying a black woman? ANSWER: It never even occurred to me that Iryn was black. I was raised in a family where we see people as human beings. I don’t subscribe to the concept of race to distinguish human beings. For me, there is only one race – the human race.
You managed Iryn and Julianna when the two formed I-Jay. Did you take advantage of your position to make a pass at Iryn then?
No, I met Iryn in October 1998 while I worked as deputy director of Alliance Francaise. I-Jay was formed at the end of 1999.
What was it about Iryn that swept you off your feet?
(Blushes and giggles) Actually, I fell for her voice before I even saw her. I was entering Sabrina’s Pub with my brother and I heard a sweet voice singing a Whitney Houston song. I told my brother, “I told you they have some great voices here.†As I descended the staircase, there was this girl on stage. So, I turned to my brother and said, “Wow, and she is not bad looking on top of that.â€
And then?
I gave my brother a stash of cash. I don’t remember how much, but it was a lot of money and told him to give it to her. After her performance, Iryn came over to our table and thanked us. We talked and exchanged numbers. After about three days, I left for Zanzibar. I wanted to see if I would feel the same way about her when I returned.
How hard was it for you to woo her?
Iryn was very cautious and she kept her distance without being disrespectful. She was very subtle. She never really pushed me away, but made me realise she wanted her space. Later she told me that she wanted to prove to me that if we were going to move out, it had to be about us, not because I was some mzungu who supposedly had money.
Didn’t you run out of patience?
No. I like challenges and I’m very stubborn but so is she and so is our son. The more she kept her distance, the more determined I became to win her over.
Rumour has it that you first dated Julianna before Iryn.
There has never been anything between Julianna and me. We had a simple and professional relationship while she sang in I-Jay. I have all I need in Iryn.
How would you rate her as a wife?
I feel like I married the most feminist African woman there is. She always makes it clear that she needs her space and time to do her things. Iryn is an independent and hot-tempered woman, but so am I. I am like a French Mukiga. I also see that in our son. I guess that is why we are still together. We have mutual respect and understanding for each other.
Tell us about the Iryn at home
At home, we share all the responsibilities as far as housekeeping is concerned. We leave a modest life in France. We have no maids, so we handle all the chores ourselves. As for cooking, I’m the cook at home. I do it over 60% of the time and I’m happy to do it.
Recently, Iryn said you would have kicked a fan who harassed her in Masindi. Are you that jealous and protective?
Yes. I have ever actually kicked someone. Once a drunken guy came over to her. I warned him that she was my girlfriend, but he ignored me. So, I beat him up! However, I’m not a violent person.
How did you feel seeing your wife’s underpants flashed in the newspapers?
Iryn herself was naïve then, but she has learnt her lesson and has a much more controlled persona now. No husband wants to see his wife do that.
What advantage would you say African women have over European women?
There is a saying we always use: ‘once you go black, you never go back.’ That is what happened to me. I’m not interested in bazungu girls anymore. I see them making moves on me, but I just don’t care.
What do you think is so addictive about African girls?
It is hard to put a finger to it, but I guess it is about the way they pay attention to their appearance. The way they handle themselves.
What would you change about Iryn?
We are both hot-tempered. But I cool down very fast. However, Iryn has a tendency of becoming defensive and keeping grudges. But she has been gaining in confidence and she learning not to let conflicts overwhelm her.
IRYN
What do you look for in a man?
Personality. I always wanted somebody that I could be stupid with; laugh and joke with and at the same time be able to have a serious conversation with.
Did you ever think you would marry a white man?
Never in my mind. I never planned my marriage even when I saw it coming. I thought our relationship would end soon.
Do you prefer home-loving guys to party animals?
Of course, every woman wants her man to be around her all the time. Fortunately, Frank likes having fun, but he is not a party animal.
Did you date class?
If I love class it means I don’t love him. I look at personality; how comfortable will I be with the person? What good will it bring me to date a rich man and I die of misery?
Is money important in relationships?
Love is the most important thing. I am an independent woman who believes in working for myself. When my mother failed to pay my fees at the age of 18, I toiled to achieve my goals from S5 up to the university. When I met Frank he was still a student, we worked together to be where we are now.
Do you have a lifestyle of the rich and the famous now?
I fit in any class. In Uganda, I live at my mom’s place where I share facilities with tenants.
How do you keep your romance burning?
I don’t stick to old ways. I am always looking for new things; relationships are like food; you have to spice them up.
What do you do to relax?
I listen to music and sometimes we play chess. In the evening we take walks with our son and sometimes invite visitors to our home.
What makes you happy at home?
When I find the house cleaned, I become so happy. Men are messy and those who are neat are perfectionists, but when Frank cleans the house, I appreciate it.
Is it true artistes cannot have stable relationships?
Everyone can have a happy relationship if they are organised and trustworthy. I think the nature of their work makes it hard for them. Most artistes are busy all the time and this makes their partners suspicious. A stable relationship is planned and people have to avoid rumours and negative thinking.
What would it take for you to split?
It would take a lot because we have always dealt with issues and settled them. Now that we have a child to bond us, we try to discuss our problems and come up with solutions.
How do you handle randy fans?
I don’t take them seriously; everyone knows I am married. For those who insist I tell them right away that I don’t like it.
Can you have two lovers at ago?
I don’t think I can. If it happens one must know that he is being cheated or both are not loved.