Why men are promiscuous
IN their book, <i>Why Men don’t listen</i>, Allan and Barbara Pease address the issue of male promiscuity as a natural phenomenon which can be controlled as long as the facts are known.
IN their book, Why Men don’t listen, Allan and Barbara Pease address the issue of male promiscuity as a natural phenomenon which can be controlled as long as the facts are known.
Promiscuity is wired into a man’s brain and is a legacy of his evolutionary past. Throughout human history, wars greatly diminished the numbers of men so it made sense to add to the size of the tribe as often as possible. The number of men returning from battle was usually lower than at the start. This meant that there was always a large number of widows, so creating a harem for the returning males was an effective survival strategy for the tribe. Giving birth to boys was seen as a wonderful event because more males were needed to defend the community.
Today, the modern man is still equipped with a large hypothalamus (the brain’s sex centre which controls emotions, heart rate and blood pressure) and enormous amounts of testosterone to fulfil his ancient urge to procreate. The reality is that men, like most primates and other mammals, are not biologically inclined to complete monogamy.
The huge male-oriented sex industry offers pertinent proof. Practically all pornography, erotic videos, prostitution and X-rated Internet images are directed at men, showing that while most men can live in a monogamous relationship, their brain-wiring demands polygamous mental stimulation. Where does marriage fit into the lifestyle of an animal specie that has a biologically promiscuous male?
Just an inclination
It has to be understood, however, that in discussing men’s urge to be promiscuous, we are talking about biological inclinations. We are not promoting promiscuous behaviour or providing men with an excuse for infidelity.
Today, we live in a world that is completely different from that of our past, and our own biology is often completely at odds with our expectations and demands.
The fact that something may be instinctive or natural does not mean it is good for us. The brain circuitry of a moth gives it an instinctive attraction towards bright lights and this allows the moth to navigate at night using the stars and the moon.
Unfortunately, the modern moth is also living in a world that is dramatically different from the one in which it evolved.
We now have moth and mosquito zappers. By doing what is natural and instinctive, the modern moth flies into the zapper and is incinerated instantly. In understanding their biological urges, modern men have a choice of avoiding self-incineration as a result of doing what comes naturally.
Women are different
There is a small percentage of women who are as promiscuous as men, but their motivation is usually different from that of men. To be turned on sexually, the brain circuitry of the nest-defending human female responds to a range of criteria other than just the promise of sex. Most women want a relationship or at least the possibility of some emotional connection before they feel the desire for sex.
Most men do not realise that once a woman feels an emotional bond has been created, she will happily bonk his brains out for the next three to six months. With the exception of the rare percentage of nymphomaniacs, most women feel the strongest urge for physical sex during ovulation which can last several days or several hours.
If unrestrained, most men would fall into a bottomless pit of mindless fornication to guarantee survival of the tribe. A survey conducted by the American Health Institute showed that 82% of boys aged 16-19 said they liked the idea of participating in an orgy with strangers, while only two percent of girls felt the same. The rest found the idea appalling.
The rooster effect
A rooster is a very randy male bird which can copulate with hens almost incessantly, more than 60 times in a given mating. He cannot, however, mate with the same hen more than five times in one day. By the sixth time, he completely loses interest and cannot ‘get it up’ but, if he is presented with a new hen, he can mount her with the same enthusiasm he did with the first. This is known as the ‘Rooster Effect’.
A bull will lose interest after copulating seven times with the same cow but can be fired up again by the introduction of a new one. By the time he reaches the tenth new cow, he is still giving an impressive performance.
A ram will not mount the same ewe more than five times, but can continue to mount new ewes with tremendous zeal. Even when the ram’s former sexual partners are disguised with perfume or bags over their heads, the ram still cannot perform. You just cannot fool them. This is nature’s way of ensuring that the male’s seed is spread as widely as possible in order to achieve the highest number of conceptions and ensure the survival of that species.
A healthy young man can also go around three times with the same woman on a good day but will usually fail to give a fourth encore. Introduce a new female however, and, like roosters and bulls, his interest (along with parts of his anatomy) can rapidly rise.
Variety and novelty
A man’s brain needs variety. Like most male mammals, a man is pre-wired to seek out and mate with as many healthy females as possible.
This is why men love novelty factors like sexy lingerie, in a monogamous relationship.
Unlike other mammals, men can fool themselves into believing they have a harem of different women by dressing their partners in a range of sexy clothing and lingerie. It is, in effect, his version of putting a bag over her head to provide a variety of different appearances.
Most women know the effect lingerie has on men although few understand why it is so powerful.
One American study has shown that women who wear a variety of erotic lingerie have generally much more faithful men than women who prefer white cotton underwear. This is just one way that a man’s urge for variety is sometimes addressed in a monogamous relationship.
Promiscuity is wired into a man’s brain and is a legacy of his evolutionary past. Throughout human history, wars greatly diminished the numbers of men so it made sense to add to the size of the tribe as often as possible. The number of men returning from battle was usually lower than at the start. This meant that there was always a large number of widows, so creating a harem for the returning males was an effective survival strategy for the tribe. Giving birth to boys was seen as a wonderful event because more males were needed to defend the community.
Today, the modern man is still equipped with a large hypothalamus (the brain’s sex centre which controls emotions, heart rate and blood pressure) and enormous amounts of testosterone to fulfil his ancient urge to procreate. The reality is that men, like most primates and other mammals, are not biologically inclined to complete monogamy.
The huge male-oriented sex industry offers pertinent proof. Practically all pornography, erotic videos, prostitution and X-rated Internet images are directed at men, showing that while most men can live in a monogamous relationship, their brain-wiring demands polygamous mental stimulation. Where does marriage fit into the lifestyle of an animal specie that has a biologically promiscuous male?
Just an inclination
It has to be understood, however, that in discussing men’s urge to be promiscuous, we are talking about biological inclinations. We are not promoting promiscuous behaviour or providing men with an excuse for infidelity.
Today, we live in a world that is completely different from that of our past, and our own biology is often completely at odds with our expectations and demands.
The fact that something may be instinctive or natural does not mean it is good for us. The brain circuitry of a moth gives it an instinctive attraction towards bright lights and this allows the moth to navigate at night using the stars and the moon.
Unfortunately, the modern moth is also living in a world that is dramatically different from the one in which it evolved.
We now have moth and mosquito zappers. By doing what is natural and instinctive, the modern moth flies into the zapper and is incinerated instantly. In understanding their biological urges, modern men have a choice of avoiding self-incineration as a result of doing what comes naturally.
Women are different
There is a small percentage of women who are as promiscuous as men, but their motivation is usually different from that of men. To be turned on sexually, the brain circuitry of the nest-defending human female responds to a range of criteria other than just the promise of sex. Most women want a relationship or at least the possibility of some emotional connection before they feel the desire for sex.
Most men do not realise that once a woman feels an emotional bond has been created, she will happily bonk his brains out for the next three to six months. With the exception of the rare percentage of nymphomaniacs, most women feel the strongest urge for physical sex during ovulation which can last several days or several hours.
If unrestrained, most men would fall into a bottomless pit of mindless fornication to guarantee survival of the tribe. A survey conducted by the American Health Institute showed that 82% of boys aged 16-19 said they liked the idea of participating in an orgy with strangers, while only two percent of girls felt the same. The rest found the idea appalling.
The rooster effect
A rooster is a very randy male bird which can copulate with hens almost incessantly, more than 60 times in a given mating. He cannot, however, mate with the same hen more than five times in one day. By the sixth time, he completely loses interest and cannot ‘get it up’ but, if he is presented with a new hen, he can mount her with the same enthusiasm he did with the first. This is known as the ‘Rooster Effect’.
A bull will lose interest after copulating seven times with the same cow but can be fired up again by the introduction of a new one. By the time he reaches the tenth new cow, he is still giving an impressive performance.
A ram will not mount the same ewe more than five times, but can continue to mount new ewes with tremendous zeal. Even when the ram’s former sexual partners are disguised with perfume or bags over their heads, the ram still cannot perform. You just cannot fool them. This is nature’s way of ensuring that the male’s seed is spread as widely as possible in order to achieve the highest number of conceptions and ensure the survival of that species.
A healthy young man can also go around three times with the same woman on a good day but will usually fail to give a fourth encore. Introduce a new female however, and, like roosters and bulls, his interest (along with parts of his anatomy) can rapidly rise.
Variety and novelty
A man’s brain needs variety. Like most male mammals, a man is pre-wired to seek out and mate with as many healthy females as possible.
This is why men love novelty factors like sexy lingerie, in a monogamous relationship.
Unlike other mammals, men can fool themselves into believing they have a harem of different women by dressing their partners in a range of sexy clothing and lingerie. It is, in effect, his version of putting a bag over her head to provide a variety of different appearances.
Most women know the effect lingerie has on men although few understand why it is so powerful.
One American study has shown that women who wear a variety of erotic lingerie have generally much more faithful men than women who prefer white cotton underwear. This is just one way that a man’s urge for variety is sometimes addressed in a monogamous relationship.