I caught my lover cheating on me
Aug 19, 2006
Dear aunt,<br>I have a boyfriend whom I have stayed with for five years. My parents and relatives know about our relationship, but on his side, only his brother knows about me. My boyfriend has been kind and loving to me. Unfortunately, I caught him red-handed cheating on me and instead of apologis
YOU ASK US
Dear aunt,
I have a boyfriend whom I have stayed with for five years. My parents and relatives know about our relationship, but on his side, only his brother knows about me. My boyfriend has been kind and loving to me. Unfortunately, I caught him red-handed cheating on me and instead of apologising, he kept quiet as if life was normal and continued cheating. What can I do? Should I chuck him?
A.H
Dear A.H,
It must be painful being betrayed by a man you truly love. The fact that only his brother knows you implies that you have been relating almost in secrecy. You talk of ‘staying’ with him; do your parents know you as married or just sharing sweet moments? A relationship with no defined basis may not have clear principles on which to operate.
Remember families get involved when a relationship matures into marriage not when it is a love affair. Did you know that you are too precious to be used as a sex object? Feeling that his love and kindness has been driven by sexual needs shows you feel used by a man you thought loved you. Think about the health and emotional risks involved in keeping yourself in this relationship. Before you think about chucking him, seek counselling from a professional counsellor to help you deal with the pain of betrayal.
She always says she is in her periods
Dear aunt,
I have dated a certain girl for two years now. Wherever I make a programme to meet her in a lodge or bars, her, answer is: ‘I am in my period.†I want to drop her but the girl is well-learned and very beautiful. I need help.
Worried Julee
Dear Julee,
Dating a ‘well-learned and beautiful’ lady must be nice, but are you aware of the deeper value in this lady? Your love for her seems to be based on nothing but sexual satisfaction. Most ladies, unlike men, are out for genuine love and commitment. To them, sex is not used as a measure of love. The fact that your girlfriend finds an excuse to avoid sexual involvement with you might be a sign that she does not trust your motives in this affair.
She would not like to be used as a ‘cooling station’. Have you ever showed her that there is a greater value to your relationship than just meeting sexual needs? Even as you meet girls in a lodge, remember sex comes with a responsibility and you cannot just have it and walk away. ‘Beautiful and learned’ as your girlfriend is, she is not a sex object, but somebody’s daughter worthy of being loved not ‘used’.
Dear aunt,
I have a boyfriend whom I have stayed with for five years. My parents and relatives know about our relationship, but on his side, only his brother knows about me. My boyfriend has been kind and loving to me. Unfortunately, I caught him red-handed cheating on me and instead of apologising, he kept quiet as if life was normal and continued cheating. What can I do? Should I chuck him?
A.H
Dear A.H,
It must be painful being betrayed by a man you truly love. The fact that only his brother knows you implies that you have been relating almost in secrecy. You talk of ‘staying’ with him; do your parents know you as married or just sharing sweet moments? A relationship with no defined basis may not have clear principles on which to operate.
Remember families get involved when a relationship matures into marriage not when it is a love affair. Did you know that you are too precious to be used as a sex object? Feeling that his love and kindness has been driven by sexual needs shows you feel used by a man you thought loved you. Think about the health and emotional risks involved in keeping yourself in this relationship. Before you think about chucking him, seek counselling from a professional counsellor to help you deal with the pain of betrayal.
She always says she is in her periods
Dear aunt,
I have dated a certain girl for two years now. Wherever I make a programme to meet her in a lodge or bars, her, answer is: ‘I am in my period.†I want to drop her but the girl is well-learned and very beautiful. I need help.
Worried Julee
Dear Julee,
Dating a ‘well-learned and beautiful’ lady must be nice, but are you aware of the deeper value in this lady? Your love for her seems to be based on nothing but sexual satisfaction. Most ladies, unlike men, are out for genuine love and commitment. To them, sex is not used as a measure of love. The fact that your girlfriend finds an excuse to avoid sexual involvement with you might be a sign that she does not trust your motives in this affair.
She would not like to be used as a ‘cooling station’. Have you ever showed her that there is a greater value to your relationship than just meeting sexual needs? Even as you meet girls in a lodge, remember sex comes with a responsibility and you cannot just have it and walk away. ‘Beautiful and learned’ as your girlfriend is, she is not a sex object, but somebody’s daughter worthy of being loved not ‘used’.