Betty Nakibuuka is a gospel artiste who testifies that she got married in 1999 when she was a virgin. Her husband, John Ssenyonjo, is a banker. They are blessed with a daughter, Gloria Ssenyonjo. Pidson Kareire and Sebidde Kiryowa talked to them
QUESTION: A virgin at 24! Did you have problems with men?
ANSWER: No, I had values. I started singing when I was 16 years; that is when I started earning from music.
We were only two gospel singers Fiona Mukasa and I. I was hard-working and independent, I managed to get what I wanted and I was focused.
I did not rush for men. When I settled for marriage, I asked God to give me a husband who was Born Again and able to love and support me. I used to do menâ€™s work and needed a manâ€™s support.
Who helped you to get a man?
We met when I was 23 years during the 1998 world cup. Those days I feared talking to men. I was shy to talk about an affair, but John was the first right person I accepted to discuss it with fully.
I used to keep a distance from men. I would tell them that I was booked and yet I wasnâ€™t. Our first meeting was at Pope Paul Memorial Centre, Rubaga. There were few people.
Tell us more
When I realised he was the person I wanted, I accepted his letters, cards and flowers. I would reply his letters immediately. In the late 1990s mobile phones were few, but he bought me one and would call me every morning and evening. Whenever he did not call, I would be hurt and I would look for him.
What value did you get from keeping your virginity till marriage?
It builds trust. That is why my husband trusts me even when I am with male fans, Born Again or not.
Do you think it is possible today?
Not everyone is immoral â€” not all the girls you see are impure; there are still people out there who keep themselves pure because even in Sodom and Gomorrah there were immoral as well as clean people.
Doesnâ€™t singing conflict with your marriage?
I have managed to continue with the talent because my husband likes music â€” that is why he is supporting me. John is free, not possessive. He knows my fans love me because of music. Besides, I am born again and not proud. My husband is part of my fame. He is the brain behind it; he is my pillar.
You have money, do you control the family?
No. Even if a woman has a lot of money, she will remain a woman. The man will always be the head of the family. The bible says a woman should submit to her husband and tells the man to love her. If I become stubborn I bring problems and trouble to him.
The family cannot be stable. We use dialogue in our home and compromise where there is a problem. Music and fame stop at the gate; at home I am a wife.
A virgin wife; how did you feel?
Good! It was great having a faithful and focused wife. I felt honoured; she is an inspiration to many youngsters.
It gives me confidence; I believe she is not easy to be tempted by unfaithful men. I feel proud that we are examples in this society. We have become a positive inspiration to the future generations.
Do you think virginity is still an issue?
Oh yes. Believe me, society still has virgins; I would encourage parents to talk to their children at an early age about purity so that they can avoid indulging in situations that can lead them into problems. Children who give their lives to Christ are no doubt clean and faithful.
What do you say to those who lost it before marriage?
The message from God is that they should turn to him to enable them recover their dignity and thereafter, enter into purity.
To you, was her virginity everything?
Not really. She fulfils her role as a wife. She is my queen. She takes care of me; she is the mother, wife and manages our home. She is endowed with wisdom and good ideas. She is my compliment.
Is that why you love her?
She is creative, social and I like the way she interacts with other people.
A woman who is not welcoming is a bother. Every time you come with visitors, it becomes a problem. Lastly, she is inspiring; she relates with the young and the old; she is God-fearing and principled.
She is virtuous; God-gifted her with a talent to express her feelings through music and she brings Godâ€™s ideas as reflected in the Bible to inspire people to have faith and hope.
She is the person who comes to cheer me up and actually gives me confidence. Besides, she is beautiful.
Is there anything that can make you separate?
We are Christians; we donâ€™t believe that can happen.
Much as we should not allow any cause for separation, we pray that God forbids it.
However, should it come to the edge and one of us cheats, the Bible says we should forgive one another and continue with marriage till death do us part.
I was honored to marry a virgin