Whenever I meet my fans, they either ask me whether I practice what I preach or why my wife should not feel so special. (why indeed?) My answers depend on my moods â€“ really but the right answer is actually simple: I donâ€™t know.
It is very difficult for a homo sapient walking this earth in 2006 to understand the implications of his preaching until he becomes the hunter or the hunted. Even the biblical Jesus who called on his followers to do good to those who wronged them, flexed muscles when he found guys frying chapattis and selling ajon in his temple.
And when it comes to sex, all preachers â€“ I mean it, all preachers â€“ have their breaking points, which, for Pastor David Kiganda, the chairman of pastors in Kampala district, culminated into a public divorce.
The senior pastor of Focus Christian Centre in Mengo Kisenyi, who slaps his hand into an open Bible during his flock-feeding sessions condemning those who put asunder what God has joined, failed to drink the herbal medicine he always prescribes to others.
It all began when the fiery radiovangelist noticed that his flock had remained 99. In the Gospel spirit of a good shepherd, he left the 99 sheep and invested heavily in locating the lost one which happened to be his wife Hadija Nassajja. Happily, he found the sheep but sadly, it was in the arms of a chapatti â€˜investorâ€™, Hussein Mukwasi.
Like the Gospel father of the prodigal son, he immediately called in around 60 elders and pastors from several churches but instead of throwing a party of fattened oxen for the lost and found sheep, he changed the script from the biblical ending. He put asunder what God had joined in 1991 at Victory Church, Ndeeba. And his fellow men of God applauded in reference to a biblical quote, hidden somewhere in the book of Judges 19 that an adulterous wife must be dismembered into 12 parts and scattered amongst the 12 tribes of Israel. I hope my wife is reading this.
The Catholic Church outlaws divorce and can never allow a remarriage of divorcees. And do you know why? Because none of the clergy is married! Even if the wife de-gazetted her Mabira forest and gave it out in plots to investors in the chapatti industry, they will ask you to turn the other cheek.
For us in marriage, we know that marriage and love run on a discordant course from the book philosophies our celibate church leaders read. We also know that throughout Godâ€™s battles with Satan, sin has always put asunder what God joins. But when the referee has never played football, he can easily hide the divorce key and leaving hostile souls locked up in a â€˜matrimonial battlefieldâ€™. Therefore I entreat all those with some sense of respect from any section of society that in matters of emotions and sex, always give your audience cut sizes you yourself can swallow. When I condemn adultery in these pages, I would not want to be found with a pastorâ€™s wife discussing rounds of chapatti whenever the pastor goes to his radio programmes.
In matters of love practise what you preach