Is cheating a men’s prerogative?
Oct 11, 2006
JESUS, we are told, once asked a stone-wielding mob about to lynch an adulterous woman: “Let he who has never done it throw the first stone!†They melted off one by one. And that was one of the reasons why he was judiciously killed. Pastor David Kiganda wants to divorce his wife, Hadijja Nassejj
By Joe Ocegyeta
JESUS, we are told, once asked a stone-wielding mob about to lynch an adulterous woman: “Let he who has never done it throw the first stone!†They melted off one by one. And that was one of the reasons why he was judiciously killed. Pastor David Kiganda wants to divorce his wife, Hadijja Nassejje, for alleged adultery. and I fully support him.
There is no genetic, hormonal, physiological, religious or instinctive internal force compelling any woman to bask in the comfort of many sex partners. Naturally, women prefer mating with one man and retaining him. Those who go for several men need such superficial reasons as poverty, financial greed, competition and the vain calls for equality. Because women were not designed to cheat, to do so requires conscious effort from them. That is why they must be hanged for that.
At the other end of the scale, men are natural cheats. Promiscuous sex is wired into a man’s brain and is a legacy of his evolutionary past. When they cheat, they have to be forgiven because it requires conscious effort not to. And when that fails once in so many days, it becomes a failing, which on average still amounts to good performance.
The Rooster effect
In their book, Why Men don’t listen…, Allan and Barbara Pease introduce what they called the Rooster Effect to explain why nature pushes man to multiple partners.
“A rooster can copulate with more than 60 times in a given mating. He cannot, however, mate with the same hen more than five times in one day. By the sixth time, he completely loses interest and can’t ‘get it up’ but, if he is presented with a new hen, he can mount her with the same enthusiasm he did with the firstâ€.
From their studies, they discovered that a bull will lose interest after copulating seven times with the same cow, but can be fired up again by the introduction of a new one.
A ram will not mount the same ewe more than five times, but can continue to mount new ewes with tremendous zeal. Even when the ram’s former sexual partners are disguised with perfume or bags over their heads, the ram still cannot perform. You just can’t fool them. This is nature’s way of ensuring that the male’s seed is spread as widely as possible in order to achieve the highest number of conceptions and ensure the survival of that species.
Look at a human being. A healthy young man can also go around three times with the same woman on a good day but will usually fail to give a fourth encore. Introduce a new female however, and, like roosters and bulls, his interest and erection will rapidly rise.
Not so negative
Today, when men scatter their seed, we call it cheating and it sounds bad. Yet this very philandering is the biggest hero of the successful survival of mankind amongst competing forces for space on this earth. Wars, wildlife, diseases, epidemics and natural disasters have always tried to erase man off the face of the earth, but thanks to the male libido, human beings have always out-reproduced competitors. With monogamy, mankind would have become extinct long ago.
Right from the fertilisation stage, the male sperm, zygote and foetus have less chances of survival than the females. Infant mortality is more in males. Accidents, wars, diseases and disasters tend to affect more men than women. That leaves just a few males to go around. Yet the surplus supply of females want, by natural instinct, to reproduce. Add these to widows left by wars and internal strife and you will see the folly of monogamy. As an effective survival strategy, man had to have a harem of women to vent off human race extinction.
The natural urge
Up till today, man is still equipped with a large hypothalamus (the brain’s sex centre which controls emotions, heart rate and blood pressure) and enormous amounts of testosterone to fulfil his ancient urge to procreate. Like most primates and other mammals, this does not make man biologically inclined to a complete monogamy. The one wife rule is an external prescription that appeals to emotions rather than reason or natural compliance. Men’s brains were wired and nurtured under demands for polygamous mental stimulation.
That is why for monogamy to succeed, men require over hyped external controls like religion, public opinion, education, financial constraints and laws. But given freedom and facilitation, few men will remain monogamous.
But women can be monogamous with ease. Their testosterone is insignificant. To be turned on sexually, their brain circuitry needs a range of criteria other than just the promise of sex. Most women want a reason; a relationship or at least the possibility of some emotional connection before they feel the desire for sex. But men don’t. All they need is opportunity and stimulation will be instant.
Power of nature
Sex for man is much more than play and orgasm. It is feed-back for ability and self worth. Adolescent boys want to amass girlfriends to assure themselves of their self esteem. Among park animals, the Alpha male mates with all females in the park. The assistant mates with all except the boss’ own favourite. And within the hierarchy of the males, the ability to mate without facing battles from superior males defines a male’s position within the park.
Today’s man is not different, but just acting on stage. His essence is made up of a natural instinctive machine, but wrapped in a socially-acceptable veil. During light, he wants to be a groomed gentleman who is nice to ladies, follows antiquate, observes religious and civil laws and condemns adultery, corruption and greed. But a simple reason can easily let his real self out.
You cannot defeat nature. You can contain it but the efforts will always be punctured because they are unnatural and leave side effects. That is why religious patriarchs of Christianity accepted their vain attempts to stifle what is natural in man by saying “For we all have sinned and become short of the glory of Godâ€.
In short, forgive the philandering man, but hang the woman. I rest my case.
JESUS, we are told, once asked a stone-wielding mob about to lynch an adulterous woman: “Let he who has never done it throw the first stone!†They melted off one by one. And that was one of the reasons why he was judiciously killed. Pastor David Kiganda wants to divorce his wife, Hadijja Nassejje, for alleged adultery. and I fully support him.
There is no genetic, hormonal, physiological, religious or instinctive internal force compelling any woman to bask in the comfort of many sex partners. Naturally, women prefer mating with one man and retaining him. Those who go for several men need such superficial reasons as poverty, financial greed, competition and the vain calls for equality. Because women were not designed to cheat, to do so requires conscious effort from them. That is why they must be hanged for that.
At the other end of the scale, men are natural cheats. Promiscuous sex is wired into a man’s brain and is a legacy of his evolutionary past. When they cheat, they have to be forgiven because it requires conscious effort not to. And when that fails once in so many days, it becomes a failing, which on average still amounts to good performance.
The Rooster effect
In their book, Why Men don’t listen…, Allan and Barbara Pease introduce what they called the Rooster Effect to explain why nature pushes man to multiple partners.
“A rooster can copulate with more than 60 times in a given mating. He cannot, however, mate with the same hen more than five times in one day. By the sixth time, he completely loses interest and can’t ‘get it up’ but, if he is presented with a new hen, he can mount her with the same enthusiasm he did with the firstâ€.
From their studies, they discovered that a bull will lose interest after copulating seven times with the same cow, but can be fired up again by the introduction of a new one.
A ram will not mount the same ewe more than five times, but can continue to mount new ewes with tremendous zeal. Even when the ram’s former sexual partners are disguised with perfume or bags over their heads, the ram still cannot perform. You just can’t fool them. This is nature’s way of ensuring that the male’s seed is spread as widely as possible in order to achieve the highest number of conceptions and ensure the survival of that species.
Look at a human being. A healthy young man can also go around three times with the same woman on a good day but will usually fail to give a fourth encore. Introduce a new female however, and, like roosters and bulls, his interest and erection will rapidly rise.
Not so negative
Today, when men scatter their seed, we call it cheating and it sounds bad. Yet this very philandering is the biggest hero of the successful survival of mankind amongst competing forces for space on this earth. Wars, wildlife, diseases, epidemics and natural disasters have always tried to erase man off the face of the earth, but thanks to the male libido, human beings have always out-reproduced competitors. With monogamy, mankind would have become extinct long ago.
Right from the fertilisation stage, the male sperm, zygote and foetus have less chances of survival than the females. Infant mortality is more in males. Accidents, wars, diseases and disasters tend to affect more men than women. That leaves just a few males to go around. Yet the surplus supply of females want, by natural instinct, to reproduce. Add these to widows left by wars and internal strife and you will see the folly of monogamy. As an effective survival strategy, man had to have a harem of women to vent off human race extinction.
The natural urge
Up till today, man is still equipped with a large hypothalamus (the brain’s sex centre which controls emotions, heart rate and blood pressure) and enormous amounts of testosterone to fulfil his ancient urge to procreate. Like most primates and other mammals, this does not make man biologically inclined to a complete monogamy. The one wife rule is an external prescription that appeals to emotions rather than reason or natural compliance. Men’s brains were wired and nurtured under demands for polygamous mental stimulation.
That is why for monogamy to succeed, men require over hyped external controls like religion, public opinion, education, financial constraints and laws. But given freedom and facilitation, few men will remain monogamous.
But women can be monogamous with ease. Their testosterone is insignificant. To be turned on sexually, their brain circuitry needs a range of criteria other than just the promise of sex. Most women want a reason; a relationship or at least the possibility of some emotional connection before they feel the desire for sex. But men don’t. All they need is opportunity and stimulation will be instant.
Power of nature
Sex for man is much more than play and orgasm. It is feed-back for ability and self worth. Adolescent boys want to amass girlfriends to assure themselves of their self esteem. Among park animals, the Alpha male mates with all females in the park. The assistant mates with all except the boss’ own favourite. And within the hierarchy of the males, the ability to mate without facing battles from superior males defines a male’s position within the park.
Today’s man is not different, but just acting on stage. His essence is made up of a natural instinctive machine, but wrapped in a socially-acceptable veil. During light, he wants to be a groomed gentleman who is nice to ladies, follows antiquate, observes religious and civil laws and condemns adultery, corruption and greed. But a simple reason can easily let his real self out.
You cannot defeat nature. You can contain it but the efforts will always be punctured because they are unnatural and leave side effects. That is why religious patriarchs of Christianity accepted their vain attempts to stifle what is natural in man by saying “For we all have sinned and become short of the glory of Godâ€.
In short, forgive the philandering man, but hang the woman. I rest my case.