Dear aunt
Dec 15, 2006
I am aged 25 and want to have a girlfriend. However, I have an inferiority complex. It is hard for me to approach ladies and tell them my feelings.
I want a girlfriend but I am shy
Dear aunt,
I am aged 25 and want to have a girlfriend. However, I have an inferiority complex. It is hard for me to approach ladies and tell them my feelings. I have close friends of the opposite sex and I feel attracted to them, but I fear to tell any because I fear to lose their friendship. Please help me deal with this fear.
F.S
Dear F.S,
Inability to interact with the opposite sex is a problem suffered by many men. This feeling of inferiority makes you expect the worst because you imagine you are not worth relating with. The root of this feeling is low self-esteem. You need help with skills on how to express your feelings constructively and look at yourself positively.
Being attracted to the opposite sex is not an offence. It is a feeling experienced by every normal human being. Your problem might not be so much to do with the fear of the ladies but the fear of rejection. You cannot imagine your love proposal being turned down. On the other hand, ladies love to have a man who expresses his feelings boldly. You should also understand that ‘no’ from a lady doesn’t necessarily mean you are not good enough as a man. It might mean she is not ready for a relationship or maybe she is seeing somebody else. A face-to-face talk with a professional counsellor will help you deal with your feelings of inferiority and improve your interaction with the opposite sex.
I am tired of his tantrums
Dear aunt,
I am aged 24. My boyfriend always makes a big deal out of small things and gets angry for weeks, until I apologise even when I am not in the wrong. He treats me like he is doing me a favour to be with me. This breaks my heart. Does he really care about me?
Milly
Dear Milly,
It appears you have a communication problem in this relationship. Your boyfriend’s reaction may also be an indication of a deeper psychological problem on his part. Anger is a normal emotion but sometimes it can be misused in a relationship. Some men use intense anger to have their way or gain control over the opposite sex. Your apologies even when you are not in the wrong might be encouraging him to use anger as a weapon against you. An ideal relationship benefits both of you and none of you is doing the other a favour. Let him know how his perpetual anger makes you feel. For better results, begin your sentences with ‘I’ and not ‘you’ as you express your feelings. Differences in a relationship provide a golden opportunity for you to understand each other. Handle differences constructively.
Dear aunt,
I am aged 25 and want to have a girlfriend. However, I have an inferiority complex. It is hard for me to approach ladies and tell them my feelings. I have close friends of the opposite sex and I feel attracted to them, but I fear to tell any because I fear to lose their friendship. Please help me deal with this fear.
F.S
Dear F.S,
Inability to interact with the opposite sex is a problem suffered by many men. This feeling of inferiority makes you expect the worst because you imagine you are not worth relating with. The root of this feeling is low self-esteem. You need help with skills on how to express your feelings constructively and look at yourself positively.
Being attracted to the opposite sex is not an offence. It is a feeling experienced by every normal human being. Your problem might not be so much to do with the fear of the ladies but the fear of rejection. You cannot imagine your love proposal being turned down. On the other hand, ladies love to have a man who expresses his feelings boldly. You should also understand that ‘no’ from a lady doesn’t necessarily mean you are not good enough as a man. It might mean she is not ready for a relationship or maybe she is seeing somebody else. A face-to-face talk with a professional counsellor will help you deal with your feelings of inferiority and improve your interaction with the opposite sex.
I am tired of his tantrums
Dear aunt,
I am aged 24. My boyfriend always makes a big deal out of small things and gets angry for weeks, until I apologise even when I am not in the wrong. He treats me like he is doing me a favour to be with me. This breaks my heart. Does he really care about me?
Milly
Dear Milly,
It appears you have a communication problem in this relationship. Your boyfriend’s reaction may also be an indication of a deeper psychological problem on his part. Anger is a normal emotion but sometimes it can be misused in a relationship. Some men use intense anger to have their way or gain control over the opposite sex. Your apologies even when you are not in the wrong might be encouraging him to use anger as a weapon against you. An ideal relationship benefits both of you and none of you is doing the other a favour. Let him know how his perpetual anger makes you feel. For better results, begin your sentences with ‘I’ and not ‘you’ as you express your feelings. Differences in a relationship provide a golden opportunity for you to understand each other. Handle differences constructively.